


Boy Who Became God

by Wayward_Unicorn



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Pendragon Lives (Merlin), Arthur watches the show through Merlin's memories, Avatar State, BAMF Arthur, BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Bending (Avatar), Elyan Lives (Merlin), Everyone Is Alive, Except Morgana, Gwaine Lives (Merlin), Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Inspired by Avatar: The Last Airbender, Lancelot (Merlin) Lives, Magic Revealed, Merlin Becomes the Avatar, Post-Magic Reveal, Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:46:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 57,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23918512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wayward_Unicorn/pseuds/Wayward_Unicorn
Summary: Merlin faces Morgana in the final battle. They're both mortally wounded, and ready to die - but upon his final moments, Merlin walks into the Spirit World, where he meets the imprisoned Avatar Spirit. Outside Albion, in lands where druids or the Old Religion never visited, there was the form of magic called bending. To save his own life and to preserve the future of his world, Merlin accepts the Spirit's offer, and his soul is reborn as the Avatar. Merlin returns to his body and starts to prepare for the looming threat of the mysterious Blind Witch, who is able to bend the very energy inside a human.In the wake of a cruel queen's initiative to begin the Second Purge, how will Arthur react, when Merlin returns, alive? Will he finally be able to accept his friend's true colours after he sees Merlin's memories and past from his perspective?And will Merlin be able to carry the responsibility of his new destiny as Avatar Emrys?
Relationships: Freya/Merlin (Merlin), Gwen & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 43
Kudos: 40





	1. Brave soldier boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a complete rewrite of my ff.net work called the Butterfly Effect, with brand new ideas and elements. Enjoy.

King Arthur's warcry echoed in the stony canyon. His shout was answered with victory-hungry screams of the his soldiers, as the king lead his men forwards. The pass was filled with the thunderous rumbling of the feet of a hundred men. One final lightning flashed across the sky, it's thunder accompanying the steps of Camelot's soldiers.

"Who is that?" asked Guinevere, keeping her eyes fixed on the lonely figure on top of the cliff. The old physician next to her sighed first, but answered: 

"He is someone truly remarkable." Gwen could hear that Gaius truly meant his words, and could see the affection in his eyes. "His name is Emrys." 

For some reason, the name sent a chill down her back and the skin on her arms rose to goosebumps.

"Do you know him?" she asked. At first, the physician was silent, as if considering how to form his reply. Then he glanced at the queen and said:

"Let's just say he deserves our gratitude."

After that, Gaius turned his back and vanished inside the tent. Before following him, Gwen glanced up at the figure one more time. There was something about that sorcerer - something so ancient, so absolutely powerful that it made Gwen shiver.

 _'Thank you, Emrys_ . _Whoever you are'_ , she thought as the old sorcerer turned around and disappeared from her sight.   
  


* * *

Merlin walked at the bottom of the gorge. He could clearly hear the sounds of the battles coming from ahead. The warlock glanced up at the dark sky, squinting. He had sent Aithusa away to safety, but now it seemed like he needed her back.

" **_Aithusa. Fthengomai au se kalon su katerkheo deuro_ **!"

The voice took power from the earth itself, making Merlin's voice sound louder and hoarser as magic wrapped itself around it. He looked back at the sky, to see the small, pale figure speeding towards him.

Aithusa was fast, despite her size, and he knew she could become just as big and strong as Kilgharrah. Merlin couldn't even begin to imagine the horrors that the young dragon must have gone through to make her the sickly creature she was now.Despite all this, Aithusa was a dragon, and Merlin was a dragonlord. She landed in front of him with a low growl, looking up at him with her deep, sad, pale blue eyes"Aithusa", Merlin whispered, slowly landing his hand on the dragon's cheek scales. She pressed against his palm and closed her eyes for a moment.

"Aithusa, I need your help." The dragon opened her eyes and watched as Merlin knelt in front of her. "I know you've been through hell, and I hope that one day you will be able to tell me what made you become so loyal to Morgana", the warlock began.

Aithusa didn't answer, just kept staring at him with the same sad look as before.

"I need to face her, but that means I can't protect Arthur. That's why I need you to help him. Protect him, do whatever you need to do to keep him safe. Use all your might. Do not let him die", Merlin's voice became more strained towards the end. He sighed and let his brow rest against Aithusa's forehead for a moment.

“ _Go_ ”, he whispered, this time sending the message inside his mind. Aithusa let out a snarl, before spreading out her ragged wings and jumping back into the sky, eyes scouring for the king of Camelot.

Merlin watched her fly, heart clenching with worry. Please, let Arthur be alright.

He knew that Aithusa was Morgana's friend, and the two shared a close bond - but Merlin was a dragonlord, and his soul was a brother to Aithusa's. He was her guardian - or at least he should have been. Merlin made a promise inside his mind that from now on he would be there for Aithusa.

* * *

Arthur could see nothing but bodies all around him - enemies and allies, friends and foes all alike. So many dead. He noticed one of the fallen soldiers of Camelot raising his hand towards the sky. To the king, it looked like a desperate plea for help.

He knelt next to the man, knowing full well that he was beyond saving. Arthur placed his hand on the fallen soldier's shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze.

He could see the life leave his eyes, but at the same moment, he heard something.

There's someone else still alive.

The unmistakable chinking of a chainmail came from behind him. Arthur swallowed and grabbed the hilt of his sword, ready to unsheathe it in a second. As the steps came to a halt, he turned around, standing up to see who his enemy was.

Arthur's heart missed a beat.

_Mordred._

During the few seconds that the two shared, staring into each other's eyes, Arthur could see it all. The hurt, the betrayal that the young knight had felt. The pain of losing a loved one. The hatred towards the man he'd once fought for.  
Mordred was still just a boy - barely of age, but still one of the most capable swordsmen that he'd ever known. For a moment Arthur remembered the loyal knight, that had bowed his head in front of him, begged for the life of Kara - unmistakably an enemy of Camelot.

Arthur had been aware that it would hurt Mordred, but what choice did he have, as a king? The laws applied to everyone; he couldn't put his people in danger by showing mercy to someone who openly confessed to being Camelot's enemy.

And this is where it had led them.

The shock in Mordred's eyes turned into pure, raw hatred, and at the same time, Arthur heard a screech from the sky. The sword in his former ally's hand glimmered ominously as he slashed it towards the king.

Arthur gasped, but when he looked down, he saw the tip of the sword just half an inch away from his stomach.

And it was being held in place in the maw of a white-scaled creature, that the king soon recognised to be Morgana's pet dragon.

_Why? Why would it help me?_

The realisation hit him almost immediately.

The old sorcerer. Emrys, that's what Morgana had called him. He commanded the dragon away, so surely he was able to command it to do this.  
  
But only dragonlords have the power to do that - and the last dragonlord had died years ago, Arthur remembered. He'd been their final hope in defeating the Great Dragon who had escaped the depths of Camelot and turned his anger into a relentless attack.

Arthur's tangled thoughts were interrupted, when the small dragon's jaw clenched tighter around the sharp side of the sword, Mordred following with dread in his pale blue eyes. The creature yanked the sword away from him with such force that the boy's wrist snapped loudly, and he let out a sharp yell.

Arthur was frozen still - that dragon was defending him. From Morgana's most trusted ally. The white creature jumped to the side, throwing the sword a good thirty feet away from them. It fell to the ground with a loud clang.

Morgana's dragon crouched towards Mordred, a low growl rising from its throat. Mordred kept staring at the creature in disbelief.

"Aithusa, what are you doing?" he whispered, swaying on his feet. "Why are you-"

Mordred didn't have time to finish his sentence, when the dragon suddenly surged towards him, sending him to the ground with a loud thud. The blood ran off of the king's face when he heard a gurgling scream leave the young man's throat, as the dragon sunk its teeth into his neck.

The ground quickly turned red from Mordred's blood, and the choking sounds made his heart clench with dread.

"Stop", Arthur pleaded, directing his words towards the dragon.

The creature froze, glancing at him over its shoulder. Arthur stared into its deep, intelligent, ice-blue eyes.

"It's okay. You can stop now", the king said slowly, wondering if it understood him.

It seemed to work, because the dragon moved away from Mordred - not too far away, still watching the twitching man's every move.

Arthur knelt beside him, hand instinctively flying on the open, horrifying wounds on the dying man's throat. Mordred's eyes were wide open, glazed over and wet, and stared right into Arthur's. The king knew that the man was living his final moments, and that there was still a small chance his enemy could still try and do something, but he didn't care. He shushed the man, trying to stop the blood flow - even though he knew it was pointless. 

"It's okay. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Mordred."

There was a small choking sound from his fallen foe, and it almost sounded like a scoff. "No", his voice was hoarse. "You're not."

"Yes I am", Arthur said quietly. "I'm sorry I turned you against me. I'm sorry you saw no other option but to take revenge. I'm sorry you're dying."

Mordred didn't answer at first, just kept staring the king's face. "I'm sorry too", the man choked a whisper. Arthur felt the man's twitching turn weaker and weaker until it stopped entirely. The blood kept oozing from the druid's wounds, and it had smudged the king's hands.

Mordred was an enemy of Camelot, but in his final moments, Arthur had seen the eyes of the man who used to fight by his side. The king let his head hang, resting his brow against Mordred's unmoving chest.

"Goodbye, Mordred", he murmured, clenching his fist.

He then turned around to look at the white creature, who had followed the exchange with a close eye.

"Did Emrys tell you to help me?" Arthur asked, raising back to his feet. To his surprise, the dragon tilted its head down in the form of a nod, looking at him with those intense, deep eyes. The king exhaled.

"He told you to protect me?"

Arthur saw the determination in the creature's eyes - it was enough to answer his question. This dragon would not leave his side until the battle was over. With Mordred's blood dripping from its chin, it reminded him of the bloodhounds back in Camelot.

"Well, then", the king murmured, looking around to see any source of life. The sounds of battle echoed further ahead - it was not yet over.

* * *

_Where is Morgana?_

Merlin had used all the power in his staff - he didn't really have use for it any longer, but it's drained magic felt comforting against his skin as he walked in the midst of the fallen soldiers, scouring for any signs of the sorceress. The last he'd seen her she had fallen from the cliff and ended up unconscious at the bottom of the gorge. He was also oblivious to the current status of the battle - who was winning? Was Arthur still standing? What about the knights - Lancelot, Elyan, Leon, Percival, Gwaine? Merlin didn't know what he'd do if one of them had fallen.

 _Morgana. Find Morgana_.

Merlin knew that the witch was just as eager to face him. She wanted the battle.

The amount of bodies at the bottom of the gorge made him cringe - so much bloodshed. But they had fallen fighting for what they believed in.

The sounds of the battle became louder and louder as he walked further. After several turns, he turned up at a clearing that was bordered by cliffs that reached high up to the sky. Soldiers of Camelot were still standing, battle cries ringing in the air, swords clanging together with those of Morgana's men.

The witch was nowhere to be seen, but instead, his heart seemed to thump a little louder, because he could see Aithusa in the middle of it all, not letting anyone get close enough to touch Arthur.

_Arthur is alive. He is alive, and Aithusa won't let any harm come to him_.

Merlin gulped after a warm feeling of temporary joy filled his guts. "Thank you", he sent a thought to the young dragon, who then turned her head around in surprise. The king of Camelot seemed to notice the direction where the creature was looking and followed her gaze.

Merlin sighed, confronting the king's eyes. To his fear, he started approaching him.

_What's he going to say?_

"Emrys", Arthur greeted. "That is your name, isn't it?"

Merlin glanced at Aithusa before answering. "Yes."

"Your dragon seems very keen on keeping me alive. Saved my life more than once already", the king continued.

The sorcerer smiled wearily and gave a grateful nod to the young dragon, who gurgled at him.

"I'm trying to find Morgana. Do you know where she is?" Merlin asked with a frown, turning his attention back to Arthur. The king sniffed, trying to catch his breath.

"The last I saw her, she was standing on that cliff over there", he stated, pointing towards the opposite side of the rock valley. The warlock squinted - she must have gone to the higher ground.

"She's waiting for me", Merlin murmured. He concentrated his magic, letting it guide him first through the battlefield, then up the cliff, to the steady moors - until it reached Morgana. Her figure was standing in the middle of the empty moors, waiting, watching. He exhaled, letting his eyes turn back to blue. He took a glance at the king and the dragon, before starting to make his way through the battlefield.

"Wait!" Arthur yelled. "Why are you doing this? Why are you helping us?"

Merlin turned around, meeting the king's confused eyes. "Because I want you to win", he croaked, like it was obvious.

Arthur's face turned into confusion. “But… I’ve done nothing but hunt and persecute your kind in the past. You should hate me.”

"I didn’t kill your father, Arthur”, the sorcerer said quickly. “I know you think I did, but Morgana had placed a cursed amulet on him - one that would turn every healing spell into an attack against his body.”  
He watched in somberly, as the king's face turned pale. 

“All I’ve ever wanted was to keep Camelot safe, and to show people that magic can be a source for good”, he said finally, before nodding shortly towards Aithusa.   
"Thank you", he said quietly to the dragon, before turning around and starting to walk towards the opposite side of the valley. A few soldiers dared to step on his path, but they were soon sent flying to the gutter. Most, however, stayed out of his way.

* * *

It took a while until he reached the top - but when he did, he could see Morgana. She waited for him with a cold look in her eyes and a twisted smirk on her face. Merlin flinched when remembering the warm smile she used to have, all those years ago.

He stopped, fifty feet apart from Morgana, and let go of the now-useless staff and let it fall to the ground. It was time.

"Morgana", he smiled wearily at the witch in black, who inhaled deeply.

"Emrys", she greeted coldly. 

"I think it's time we settled this once and for all. Enough blood has been shed", he said, watching the woman's reactions closely. Merlin could hear his own heartbeat in his ears and felt the magic rushing in his veins, begging to be released. He was ready for this.

"Why are you dressed like that?" Morgana's teased. "Why not just be yourself?"

"Don't you like the beard?"

The witch chuckled as she approached him. This was it. The outcome of this battle would determine the winner of the war.

"No matter. I'm just wondering, how did you get your magic back? I went to great lengths trying to eliminate you as a danger", her tone turned colder.

Merlin smiled weakly before answering. "Wouldn't you like to know."

For a while, the two just looked each other in the eye. Morgana, in all her might - wild, black hair tied back; body cloaked with black robes; pale, smooth skin like the winter's first snow; beautiful features still visible behind her cold expression. And Merlin was facing her as an old man - just to protect his identity from his friends.

_I'm such a coward_ , he thought to himself. _Even on the final battlefield, I have no courage to show my friends who I really am_.

His thoughts were stopped when Morgana let out a bone-chilling scream of anger and threw the first jinx towards him. Merlin didn't even have to raise his hands or murmur the words to stop the curse, but he knew that Morgana wouldn't hold back during this fight. She would give it her all.

His magic vibrated inside his veins, throbbing against his skin. _Release me, release me_ , it begged. Merlin didn't even know what was holding him back.   
  
_Nothing's holding you back this time. Use all you've got. This is it - the final_ _showdown. It all ends here._

Merlin dodged another of Morgana's spells. He could see she was losing her patience and saw as she grimaced. Her spiteful eyes flashed golden, and a ball of fire formed between her hands - except it wasn't just fire. It was shining with a black flame (Merlin hadn't even known that it was possible to have black light), but there it was. It was dark, cruel magic, Merlin could feel it towering over him like a shadow. The warlock frowned, not wasting any more time in admiring the witch's power.

He murmured a few words, eyes flashing gold - and his palms ignited with a bright, white fire. Morgana wielded her black magic with a terrifying battle cry, and Merlin raised a wall of fire in front of him, stopping the dark flames before they reached him. For a moment the black and white fire mixed together, swirling in the midst of each other. It took an effort to keep Morgana's darkness from piercing through, and it made his fragile hands shake slightly.

"Why are you on the defence?" Morgana teased, but Merlin could hear the anger behind her voice. "Am I not worthy to see the true power of the mighty Emrys? Am I not?"

She half-heartedly threw the nearest rocks towards him, and Merlin evaporated the stones into dust with a quick wave of his hand.

"Fight back!" she snarled, now furious. Merlin held back a smile - this was good. Morgana was getting blinded by her fury, and in the end, it would end up being her downfall. She was always so emotional, always felt everything so deeply. Morgana muttered under her breath, eyes glowing golden, and her dark fire retreated - but just for a second. It rose again, higher than before, and to Merlin's horror, it took the form of a giant, fiery snake - ready to swallow everything in its way. The cold flames licked the ground as Morgana's magic threw itself against Merlin's wall of white fire. He knew it wouldn't last, so he pulled it back, muttering the ancient words under his breath to bend his fire into a counter attack.

" _She is the darkness to your light, the hatred to your love_ ", he could hear Kilgharrah's voice inside his head, as he squeezed the white fire in his grasp. The monster that Morgana had formed surged towards him, and Merlin had to duck away from its cold flames - but at the same time, he threw his own magic on the terrifying beast. His white fire curled around the dark snake like a rope, choking it, killing it. Morgana's eyes flashed in an angry tone of gold.

Merlin winced as the snake disappeared to nothing, and Morgana's next spell hit him straight to the chest. He felt the dark force swim inside of him, making him bend over and fall to his knees.

He couldn't breathe - his lungs were filling up with something else than air. He started to cough up water - it poured from his mouth like a river. 

Morgana let out a vicious laugh, taking advantage of the situation and throwing a knife towards him - Merlin could see the darkness that swam through the blade like veins, throbbing against the metal like a heart. That would kill anything it touched.

He tried to utter words to throw the knife off course, but failed miserably, only managing to sputter out some water.

The knife sank into his chest, in the middle of his torso. Merlin’s blood seemed to freeze upon the impact, and his mind went horribly blank, dark spots swimming in the edges of his vision.

This old body wasn’t able to take the toll of the amount of dark power Morgana wielded. There was a victorious, cruel smile on her face as she approached him. 

Merlin closed his eyes. It was time. If this was how he was going to die, then so be it.

****

Arthur would have rather expected his father to have lifted the ban on magic, than this. Fighting alongside Morgana's dragon, while a sorcerer whose power was rumoured to be more than equal to his sister, went to face her. The king could hear the sounds of lighting and fire from the higher ground, Morgana's chanting and Emrys' deep, bone-chilling voice. He knew that all the others heard it, too. Percival and Leon appeared at his side, looking at him with confusion.

"Is that old sorcerer really fighting Morgana?" Leon asked with a frown. There was a bleeding scrape on his cheek and Percival's nose appeared to be broken, but otherwise they seemed to be in good health.

"Yes", the king stated simply.

“Do you think he can win?” Leon whispered.

"I don't know", the king muttered. He then exhaled deeply and took a glance at the small dragon, whose deep, pale eyes were fixated on the faraway cliff.

"It's okay", Arthur said quietly. "You can go. We're alright."

The dragon glanced at him, then back at the cliff - clearly hesitating.

"The battle is over", Gwaine added. "Go."

The creature let out a small snarl before jumping to its wings. Arthur watched it go, soar through the air - but then frowned in confusion as it arched away from the direction where the two sorcerers were fighting, going back the way they came from

"Where's it going?" Elyan asked, but no one had an answer for him.

* * *

Merlin noticed that the people of Camelot (those who were still alive) had started to gather to the edges of the cliff to follow the fight. He was painfully aware that Arthur was one of them.  
_Close your eyes. Please, close your eyes, Arthur._

“Not so powerful now, are we Emrys?” Morgana’s voice was muffled, seemingly coming from far away. Blood was gushing in Merlin’s ears, and his head felt like it was underwater.

It was now or never.

_Here we go._

Merlin’s magic exploded into life - power ripped through his veins like it had been captive for too long, devouring his every cell and blessing his very being with raging, white light. 

It was such raw magic, it blocked all his senses. He felt his blood mixing with his magic in ways he’d never felt before. It was like he was fusing into something else entirely. 

The old, wrinkly skin melted away. The long, white hair and beard disappeared and made way to the black mop of hair. His blue eyes turned white-golden.   
With a firm grip, Merlin grabbed the hilt of the knife that was buried in his chest. Infected blood poured out, but the pure magic flowing inside him kept him standing. 

“Impossible!” Morgana hissed. “Just die!”

Merlin raised his hand in response, sending Morgana flying backwards. The witch struggled against the invisible power, unable to get back on her feet.

Suddenly, something purple began forming under her fingertips. Gritting her teeth, Morgana clenched her fist as purple light shone through her fingers. 

The wound in Merlin’s chest seemed to widen like a black hole, making him lose his balance and stumble backwards. It burned more than anything he’d ever felt before. 

“You can’t win!” Morgana exclaimed, getting back on her feet. “I won’t let you.”

Merlin bit his bottom lip. 

“Merlin?” a weak voice called out from the midst of the crowd that was watching from a safe distance. A shiver ran down his spine. He would have known that voice in death, at the end of the world, as a whisper in the wind.

Arthur’s eyes were so full of confusion, so full of shock, it sent a painful, icy wave through Merlin’s heart.

“What is this?”

“You didn’t know, brother?” Morgana sneered. “Your manservant is a sorcerer. Has been one all these years. And you never noticed. How does it feel, Arthur - knowing that everyone you’ll ever know will eventually turn against you?”

“Shut up”, Merlin snarled, his eyes flashing golden in a sudden fit of rage. “Don’t pretend like you know _a thing_ about me, Morgana.”

“Neither should he”, the witch nodded towards Arthur with a cruel smirk. “You’ve lied to everyone around you. All your life. No matter how this battle ends, your life will be over.”

Merlin swallowed, realizing that the witch was right. “Well”, he said quietly. “Then I’ve got nothing to lose, right?”

* * *

In horror, Arthur watched as Morgana threw a ball of white light towards Merlin. The wounded sorcerer barely made a move to shield himself, just raised his hand - as if he was simply saying hello, or shielding his eyes from the sun.   
It was bright. Arthur had to squint to be able to keep watching. Merlin didn’t move an inch, and even when the king’s every instinct was screaming at him to go and pull his stupid manservant back to safety, he couldn’t deny what his own eyes were seeing.

Merlin’s eyes flashed golden. It looked so wrong - those were the eyes of a beast, a killer. Someone dangerous, someone to be feared.

Arthur looked at his manservant, at the change in his posture and realised that the man he’d grown to love as a brother figure, the constant companion in his life for the past eight years, was now barely recognisable. He looked taller, he stood with his back straight, and there was barely any expression on his face. Merlin’s usually vibrant and lively blue eyes had turned to empty blue shards.  
Merlin said nothing. Arthur heard his own heartbeat echo in his ears when he watched as bright-blue flames sparked to life on both of his servant’s palms. Golden light swam in the skinny man’s eyes once again, and the flames jumped to life. 

Arthur was taken aback when the fire grew into a large wall of flames. The fire was _alive._ Merlin’s posture changed again. The king frowned as he saw the servant slowly move the tip of his shoe on the ground, making a circle. 

Morgna scoffed and waved her hands. A powerful, transparent aura advanced towards Merlin and his fire. The servant turned on his heels, his fingers grasping through the flames, gathering it back to his grasp, and as he turned back he hurled the fire towards Morgana with an exploding speed. 

Arthur blinked as the two forces faced each other - Merlin’s fire burned through Morgana’s aura with ease. The flames licked away the sorcerer’s defences, and unknown words flowed through Merlin’s lips as he made the blue fire his weapon.

It was sorcery unlike anything Arthur had ever seen.

_Merlin is Emrys’_ whispered the voice inside his head. _He’s been lying to you all this time. He’s a traitor. A deceiver. An enemy of Camelot._

Arthur swallowed, tears prickling in the corners of his eyes. 

Morgana suddenly replied by sending out a sharp, blue wave of electricity towards Merlin. The king stiffened, watching as Merlin’s flames disappeared and instead he cupped his hands, catching the lighting effortlessly and forming it into a ball on his palm.

Arthur let out a breath he’d been holding as Merlin sent it back flying, and it hit Morgana in the middle of the chest. She let out a snarl, falling heavily on her back.

The king couldn’t help but notice that Merlin was staggering on his feet. He looked exhausted, like a person who hadn’t slept in a week. 

The servant placed a hand over the dark spot on his chest and tried to regain his balance. Arthur flinched as he felt Excalibur move inside its hilt. He turned his eyes down towards his trusted blade, only to see it floating away from him and towards Morgana.

“Look out!” Arthur screamed, but Merlin barely had the time to react when Morgana was already by his side, the blade buried hilt-deep into his flesh. 

Merlin fell to his knees.

A cold feeling settled in Arthur’s chest, grasping at his heart. 

“Bastard!” Gwaine’s broken voice yelled. “You bastard!”

A few painfully long seconds passed - then something happened. Arthur felt a strange sensation first in his fingertips, then all around him - a tingling electricity, spreading through his body and sending shivers down his spine. A warm but strong wind blew against his face and ruffled his hair.

Merlin looked different. He was still hunched over and on his knees, but he was slowly raising his head. Morgana’s expression was puzzled at first, but it then turned into fear. A noticeable, warm aura surrounded the thin man, telling of the raw power radiating from him as his eyes turned into golden shards.

Arthur shivered. This was his _manservant_ , for gods’ sakes. His idiotic, bumbling manservant, who polished his armour and sharpened his sword. 

All this time, he’d been holding in a power like this? Morgana was slowly being pushed back by an invisible force. Her feet left trails on the ground. 

Merlin was getting back on his feet. He grabbed Excalibur’s hilt, slowly pulling it out of his flesh. Merlin’s eyes were still glowing like a pair of flaming stars. He didn’t even flinch as the sword was pulled through his insides. 

“This is impossible”, Melehan choked out. “What _are_ you?”

Merlin’s magic caused the sword sink halfway to the rocky ground. The sorcerer opened his mouth, and Arthur realized the light was pouring out from the back of his throat as well as his eyes. Threads of golden light circled the man’s body. 

Merlin’s voice was no longer recognizable. It was deep, dark and held in a power that caused everyone present to shiver. 

“ _Magic_.”

Merlin raised his hand, and Morgana yelled in frustration, summoning a ball of energy between his fingertips. It paled down next to the light shining from Merlin’s eyes. 

Morgana’s attack traveled quickly towards Merlin’s blood-covered stomach. Time seemed to slow down as Merlin drew a simple circle in the air with his finger. It left behind a black hole in the air, a darkness. Her attack sucked into it immediately, and in a matter of a second another hole opened up - behind the witch. Her own magic hit him in the back, sending her face down on the ground. 

Arthur drew in a breath. The way Merlin was fighting was… amazing, quite frankly. Threads of light still circled his arms and torso, radiating power.

“No”, Morgana whispered, streaks of tears on her cheeks. “I can’t lose to you.”

She stumbled to her feet, but Merlin was already in front of her, having moved at an impossible speed. Arthur wasn’t sure if his feet had even moved. 

Excalibur had disappeared from the ground, and it was now in Merlin’s hand. 

“I’m sorry”, the man’s voice echoed as the sword pierced Morgana’s stomach. 

* * *

Excalibur’s power vibrated in Merlin’s hands, resonating with his own magic. The blade went right through. For a moment, Morgana just stared at him, green eyes wide open. She attempted to say something, mouth opening and closing, and a small whimper escaped her mouth. Merlin felt something burn behind his eyelids as the witch fell to the ground. He pulled the sword out and let it fall to the ground. The warlock supported Morgana’s neck, not letting her fall.

The looks they exchanged spoke louder than any words.

Hurt. Shock. Sorrow. Acknowledgement - they both knew what this meant. No mortal blade could kill a priestess of the Old Religion - but this was no mortal blade. 

Merlin swallowed and turned his head towards Aithusa, who had landed by their side.

“Come”, he whispered. The dragon kept her head down, crawling slowly towards them. Her pale eyes were glazed over with sorrow when she looked at the witch. Morgana’s expression was gentle when she reached her hand to stroke Aithusa’s cheek.

“It’s alright”, the priestess whispered weakly. “Be strong, Aithusa.”

Merlin swallowed again, feeling the tears burn behind his eyelids. The dragon took a few steps back. That’s when Arthur and the knights had started to slowly approach them.

_I’m sorry, but I can’t let you come any closer._

He raised his eyes towards the king who was rushing towards the two mortally wounded sorcerers, storm-blue eyes widened in shock.

Merlin wanted nothing more but to just go back home, but he knew he couldn’t. Gaius would give him _the letter._ He’d written one ages ago, just in case he ever got caught. 

Merlin inhaled deeply, before slamming his hand on the ground.

“ **_Astýre ús þanonweard!_ **”

His eyes glowed golden, as a powerful wind surrounded them in its embrace; magic howled all around them and raged inside him. 

Merlin cast a sad glance towards Arthur, shaking his head slowly, just before they disappeared out of sight.

Camlann disappeared.

* * *

“Where are we?” Morgana’s voice was hoarse and weak, and her usually pale face looked sickly grey. Their lives were fading, and they both knew it.

Merlin looked around - it was green, despite the night’s darkness. Thousands of stars lit the sky, making the water around them shine. 

“On the island in the middle of Lake Avalon”, he answered, before laying her on the moss bed. He landed heavily on the ground next to her, feeling his own life force weakening. 

“Why have you brought us here?” she asked with a spiteful cough.

Merlin didn’t answer at first - he was thinking of what to say.

“I brought us here to die”, he said quietly. “Don’t you think it would be nice to have some peace in our final moments?”

Morgana opened her mouth with a grimace, struggling to breathe, her eyes flashing with hatred.

“No, no”, Merlin stopped the angry words that would have left her mouth within the next second or so. “Please stop. We’re both dying, Morgana. I know you hate me, I know you hate Camelot, but none of that matters any longer. Please, just…” he felt the tears burn in his throat stronger than before. “Just don’t.”

Morgana stared at her for so long, in silence, that Merlin thought she’d already passed away - but then she sniffed, and a single tear fell from her eye, travelling on the arch of her cheek.

“I blame myself, you know”, the warlock said quietly - voice considerably less creaky than before - a million emotions running through her. This was Morgana, his arch enemy - but she used to be something else. “You used to have a good heart. There used to be something else than just hatred inside of you.”

Morgana struggled to answer. “Before _I_ betrayed anyone, I was betrayed by people like _you_ ”, her voice trembled with effort, and she swallowed in pain. “And back then, I was so… _weak_.”

“It’s not weakness to be kind”, Merlin answered. The witch didn’t say anything, just groaned in pain.

**_“Swilte déaþcwalu”,_ ** he whispered, letting his eyes flash gold once more, even though his magic was so drained it was but a shadow of what it should be. Even a small spell made his insides hurt with the effort. Morgana exhaled when the pain seemed to ease. She looked at him again, with sorrowful eyes.

“I’m sorry, Morgana”, Merlin started quietly. “When you came to me, wondering if you had magic, I turned my back on you, kept my magic to myself. I should have offered you guidance, I should have been there for you, and maybe Morgause’s influence wouldn’t have been so effective. Maybe I could have prevented all that’s happened since.” He didn’t bother to wipe away the tear that finally escaped his eye. “I shouldn’t have left you alone.”

Morgana didn’t blink as she looked him in the eye. “I was so alone”, she whispered, bottled up hurt and anger pouring from her tone.

“And when Morgause came, you, of course, felt loyalty to the cruelty she wanted to bring upon us”, Merlin stated. “She was your sister and she had magic. She understood you. You had no reason to turn her away.”

He lifted his eyes that had been staring into nothingness. Morgana swallowed as she spoke:

“I think we both have regrets.”

“We fought side by side, once”, Merlin added. “I miss those times.”

“Me too”, the words seemed to escape Morgana’s mouth before she had the time to stop them. He watched as her slightly grey lips were coloured with red as she coughed up some blood. He swallowed with effort, slowly laying down next to her. They looked up at the dark-blue sky that was dotted with stars, and stayed quiet for a while.

“Do you remember”, started the witch slowly, “when we went to find the _Afanc_ ? And we fought it and that torch suddenly _exploded_?”

Merlin closed his eyes, smiling at the memory. “Yes.”

“That was you, wasn’t it?”

He turned his head with a smirk. “Yes.”

On that moment he could see her again - the woman who had died a long time ago, the woman who used to be his friend. The woman who had ridden to Ealdor to fight for a servant’s home village. _There is still light in her. Even if these are her last moments, even if the light is just a memory. This is how I want to remember her._

“And when we saved Mordred when he was little”, she said, voice growing weaker towards the end.

“We hid him in your chambers”, Merlin remembered. “And when Arthur came to search for him, you told him to sod off.”

Morgana’s smile was _real_ \- it wasn’t the evil smirk that the warlock had seen so many time in the past few years. It wasn’t the twisted grin that invaded her face. It was pure and warm.

“I was always good at that.”

Merlin and Morgana turned their eyes back towards the sky. He knew that their time was running out - hers faster than his, she had maybe a few more minutes.

“Could you…” the witch started but had to stop to swallow down some blood. “Could you do some magic?”

Merlin didn’t answer at first, he just looked at her. Despite all her hunger for power, her cruelty and hatred, all the horrible things she’d done - she was a sorceress, someone who loved magic.

He sighed. God knew he was exhausted; his hands had only just stopped trembling after all the effort that their battle had required. But Morgana and Merlin were both dying, and he shared her sentiment. Magic was simply beautiful to look at.

“You’ll be with your sister soon”, Merlin murmured as he made a flame appear on his palm.

“ **_Upastige draca_ **”, he whispered, and sparks took the form of a tiny dragon. It made a circle around them, the rhythm of its wings calm and slow, before fading out to the wind.

“Aithusa will be all alone”, Morgana whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. 

“No”, Merlin sighed. “Kilgharrah and Aithusa will find each other again. I know they will.”

The sorcerer coughed up some blood, letting out a shuddering breath. The two stab wounds in his midsection felt like shards of ice, and the coldness was radiating to his very bones, to every sinew in his body. Merlin turned his gaze back up towards the stars before cupping his hands, and whispering:

“ **_Gewyrcan lif._ **”

Morgana frowned while hearing a soft sound of flapping wings. The warlock opened his hands, letting the small, golden-winged butterfly fly to freedom.

It was his favorite spell.

The witch stared at it, and Merlin could see the raw emotion on her face. A single teardrop rolled down her cheek. Then she cleared her throat weakly, attempting to lift her hands, but her muscles barely obeyed her orders. Seeing her struggle, Merlin helped her, taking her cold, bony hands into his own and bringing them to her chest. She cupped them, the same way Merlin had done, and although her voice was trembling, she repeated Merlin’s words.

“ **_Gewyrcan lif_ **.”

Her eyes turned bright golden, and then her face melted into a pure smile, full of happiness and awe when a dark-blue butterfly flapped its wings and rose into the sky.

The golden butterfly started to play in the air with the blue one, they danced in the wind like two care-free birds. The witch squeezed Merlin’s hand, as they watched their magic playing together.

They stayed like that, her hand in his, until the morning came, and Morgana died. 

****

Merlin could no longer feel his body. He looked at the sky in all its blue, thinking back on his life. If he should choose one thing he regretted, it was not being able to be there to explain everything to Arthur.

He’d never be able to say goodbye. 

“ **_Hello, young warlock_ **”, a deep voice sighed. Merlin heard the flapping wings behind him and felt the earth rumble as the dragon landed. 

Kilgharrah’s head appeard to Merlin’s left side.

“ _Kilgharrah_ ”, Merlin whispered through his mind, not finding the energy to move his lips. “ _It’s over.”_

“ ** _Yes_** ”, the dragon sighed. “ _ **Even my powers aren’t enough to heal these wounds. May you pass in peace, last of the dragonlords**_.”

Merlin closed his eyes. His chest had stopped rising. It was time to go.


	2. Friend of Arthur Pendragon

* * *

Merlin opened his eyes. The air around him was blue-hued, and the sky looked was covered in a heavy layer of clouds. He wasn’t in the world of the living any longer, that was for sure.

The first thing he noticed was that his magic was gone. He no longer felt the powerful energy laying dormant inside him - there was nothing.

Frightened, he got up and looked around. There were jagged rocks all around him, mountains in the distance. 

There was a lonely, ancient tree standing in the middle of the barren land. Merlin swallowed, and approached when he saw a light shining through a hole in the tree’s trunk.

As he got closer, he could feel the power that radiated from this tree. Time had made it crooked and appearing frail, but it was home to timeless magic. Merlin peered inside through the hole, curious to what he might see in the midst of the blinding, white light.

“ **_Emrys.”_ **

A deep voice called out inside his head. It sounded like neither male nor female. Flinching, Merlin stumbled backwards and fell to his bottom. He swallowed, clearing his throat uncertainly.

“ _Hello?”_

“ **_So you have come here, upon your deathbed. How curious.”_ **

**** _“Where am I?”_ asked the sorcerer, the dark landscape unfamiliar and cold.

**_“You’re in the spirit world. And you have just discovered the only thing that can still save you.”_ **

**** Merlin’s metaphysical heart seemed to skip a beat. Living was still an option?

“ **_I am the Avatar Spirit. I have been a prisoner here for many long years, disconnected from the world.”_ **

**** Merlin swallowed. “ _Why were you imprisoned?”_

“ **_I was in somebody’s way_ ** ”, the spirit replied, the deep voice sending a chill through Merlin’s spine. “ **_Now the whole mortal world is in peril.”_ **

**** Merlin shuddered. “ _What do you mean?”_

“ **_You carry magic in your blood_ ** ”, the Avatar Spirit told him matter-of-factly. “ **_Yet, you have only ever known the few spells you’ve studied from silly little books. But have you ever wondered what magic is like in other parts of the world - in places, where the Old Religion or the druids never touched?”_ **

**** Merlin stared, his breath caught in his throat.

“ **_Before spells even existed, there was only the purest form of magic; bending of the elements_ ** ”, the Spirit continued. “ **_The humans who had it in them, could bend one element to their will. It was hereditary, mostly - some could bend earth. Some learned the art of firebending from dragons. Some were able to bend air, and some could bend water._ **

**** Merlin couldn’t dare to interrupt. The light of the Spirit seemed to fill his whole being with warmth, and its voice was enchanting.

“ **_Benders have never been to Albion before - until now. The woman who imprisoned me here has finally arrived.”_ **

**** “ _To Camelot?”_ Merlin swallowed, dread filling his heart.

“ **_She was born blind”,_ ** the Spirit told him. “ **_And she discovered that she could bend the energy inside the human body. A rare gift. And she’s been unstoppable… so far.”_ **

**** Merlin got back on his feet, feeling the light inside him fade by the minute.

“ **_She’s already in Albion. And she won’t rest until she gets what she wants.”_ **

**** _“And what’s that?”_ he breathed.

The Spirit was silent for a moment. “ **_She wishes to rid the world of all authority. She believes sorcerers should lead the world, and people who don't do magic should bow before them.”_ **

**** " _That can't happen, not now!”_ Merlin exclaimed. “ _I gave my sodding life away to prove that magic can be a source for good. Her attack would ruin everything I've sought to accomplish.”_

 _“_ **_She doesn’t see it thing the same way as you_ ** ”, the Avatar Spirit uttered somberly. “ **_And that is why the world still needs both of us. If you wish to live, you must be reborn as the new Avatar. The Blind Witch destroyed the last Avatar and imprisoned the Spirit here, inside the Tree of Time, in order to stop the Avatar cycle.”_ **

**** _“What is the Avatar, exactly?”_ asked Merlin, uncertainty gnawing at his bones. If this was some dark force of nature, he didn’t want to become consumed by such a power.

“ **_The Avatar is the bridge between the spirit world and the mortal realm_ ** ”, the deep voice told him. “ **_And the only person capable of bending all four elements. A keeper of balance and harmony in the world. Every time an Avatar dies, they’re reincarnated.”_ **

**** _“And you want to make me the new Avatar”,_ Merlin confirmed. “ _What does that mean, exactly?”_

“ **_It means_ ** ”, the Spirit whispered. “ **_That the cycle continues, and you get to live. There is terrible imbalance in the world, and it needs to be mended. You’ll be able to save your friends. But you must make a decision soon - your life is all but gone.”_ **

**** Merlin looked down. His body was almost gone - his consciousness was like a flickering light, just the last light to go out at this point.

" _What if I don't know what to do?"_

" **_All the previous Avatars will live inside you, and they will give you guidance._ **"

The sorcerer clenched his fists. 

_What am I doing?_

“ _Fine. I’ll do it_ ”, Merlin said, deciding to take a leap of faith into the unknown. He reached out his barely visible arm, sinking it into the gaping hole in the side of the Tree of Time. He felt the Avatar Spirit’s white energy enter him. It happened slowly, at first - and then all at once. It was painful and invigorating at the same time - Merlin felt his very _soul_ being ripped apart and then built back anew, shaped into something he’d never felt before. He felt more power than ever before - it sizzled inside him, bubbling like a new, invisible limb that was begging to break loose. 

Merlin didn’t even bother to fight back. Every fiber of his soul was burning, and all he saw was white. 

* * *

Merlin walked through a fog. When he looked down, he saw no floor to carry him. His feet were stepping in empty air. Strange whispers called out to him from the mist, and he found himself getting colder by the minute.

“ _Spirit_?” he called out uncertainly.

There was no reply. 

The fog was so thick Merlin could barely see where he was going - and after endlessly wandering, just walking forwards, he started to see shapes and figures in the mist. 

They were people, he realized after watching them dance around him for a while. They were people, and they were calling his name. 

“ _Who are you_?”

“ _We are you_ ”, they replied. Merlin shuddered as their voice grew, invading his headspace. The voice was layered, hundreds of different voices merged into one. “ _Keep going, Avatar Emrys._ ”

Merlin did keep going. He looked at the past Avatars staring at him from the midst of the fog, their eyes shining a white light, like twin stars. 

The mist dissipated, and Merlin woke up.

* * *

When he came to, he was drowning. Lake Avalon was sucking his body under the waves, and as Merlin tried to gasp for air, he managed to swallow a mouthful of murky water. 

He kicked some speed with his legs, and to his surprise, he was sprung to the surface in record time. The water seemed to agree with him, it was as if it had… _cooperated._

Coughing up the lakewater, he swam to the shore of the island he’d just died on. Morgana’s body was gone - Kilgharrah and Aithusa had undoubtedly arranged a proper funeral for both of them, sending them burning to the bottom of the Lake Avalon.

_What a lovely way to burn_ , thought Merlin as he collapsed to the shore.

The warlock peered down at his body, noticing that his clothes were still ripped from the spots where Excalibur and Morgana’s dagger had pierced his flesh.

The entry wounds were now just another pair of scars for his mighty collection. 

So, he was the Avatar now, Merlin thought, looking at his hands. Did it mean he could bend the elements? Did he still have magic?

“ **_Gewyrcan lif_ **”, he whispered to the palm of his hand, and let out the breath he’d been holding as a butterfly took form on his hand, flapping its fragile winds in the windy air.

The world did feel different, Merlin noticed. He was aware of every single drop of water on his skin, like he’d become hypersensitive. The wind blowing on the shore and making the lake restless felt… connected to him. As Merlin studied his newly found senses, he found that he could tell exactly how the lonely leaf, mauled by the wind, was going to fly. 

Merlin raised his face towards the sun, and it’s energy caused something to ripple under his skin. A warmth unlike anything he’d felt before.

And the earth? 

As he focused, digging his fingers to the ground, he could feel small vibrations. A worm was digging it’s way somewhere below him, and Merlin could _feel_ it.

The Avatar soul had merged with his, and that power had been enough to piece his body back together from the ashes it had turned to. The Avatar soul that was now his, had made him more connected to the world than ever before. 

Magic was everywhere. It truly was like being given a brand new limb. The corners of Merlin’s mouth tugged as he realized the full extent of it all.

He was the Avatar now, whatever that meant. 

* * *

Merlin called out to Kilgharrah and Aithusa, and Merlin could swear that his voice had a different echo to it. Almost like… layered. As if several people were talking in perfect synchronization. 

The dragons answered to his call. Their mighty shapes took form in the sky, and their wings flapped against the wind. 

Merlin felt their power as he studied the air around him, feeling the magic vibrating from their scales. He could also sense their surprise and reserve, as they approached the warlock they thought they’d just buried.

Merlin smiled at them. “Kilgharrah. Aithusa.”

“ **_Merlin_ ** ”, Kilgharrah greeted him slowly. “ **_How are you here? What have you done?_ **”

“It’s a long story”, Merlin admitted, laughing as Aithusa buried her large head under his armpit. “Good to see you too.”

“ **_Merlin_ **?” Kilgharrah pressed, his golden eyes narrowing.

“Before I died, I spiritwalked”, the warlock told the dragon. “I met an imprisoned spirit, the Avatar.”

Kilgharrah’s scales rippled upon hearing the name. “ **_Why would anyone imprison the Avatar_ ** ? **_They do not wander these lands, and their sole purpose is to keep balance and harmony in the world._ **”

“Yes, I know”, Merlin sighed impatiently. “I met them and they warned me about an enemy who’s just arrived in Albion. A witch from a faraway land, and she’s the one who killed the previous Avatar and imprisoned the Spirit into the Tree of Time.”

“ **_A faraway land_ **?” repeated Kilgharrah. 

“I don’t know the details”, Merlin shrugged. “Only that she’s dangerous and needs to be stopped. I can’t abandon my friends, if there’s a new threat coming right towards them. And…”

He stopped talking, biting his bottom lip before continuing. “I needed to see Arthur.”

The dragon hummed softly. “ **_I see. But you still haven’t told me how you’ve returned from the dead._ **”

“I became the new Avatar.”

Kilgharrah’s eyes widened. “ **_That is not possible, young warlock. That’s not how the Avatar cycle works.”_ **

**** “The world is in too much danger right now to have the time to wait for a baby to be born and grow up and learn how to control the elements”, Merlin argued. “I’ll do anything if it means I have a chance to save the people I love. Even become the bridge between two worlds and uphold the harmony of nature for the rest of my life.”

Kilgharrah shook his head slowly. “ **_You must understand, that nothing like this has ever occurred in this world before_ ** ”, he growled. “ **_It is unnatural. There could be consequences, disturbances_ ** .”  
“We’ll deal with them once, or if, they occur”, Merlin replied in annoyance. “Right now I need to return to the citadel. I must see Arthur. He needs to know that I’m alive, and that there’s another crazy witch who wants to destroy my progress.”

“ **_Progress_ **?” Kilgharrah repeated suspiciously.

“Progress at showing people that magic can be a source for good”, the warlock muttered. “All I want is for magic to be legal, and for Arthur to accept me now that he finally knows what I really am.”

“ **_You must give him time, young warlock_ ** ”, Kilgharrah’s voice turned softer. “ **_He has known you for ten years, and you have kept such a huge secret from him all this time. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was upset_ **.”

Merlin’s shoulders sank. “Yeah”, he replied weakly. “Well, if he doesn’t want me around, that’s fine. I’m not going to force him to accept me. But he’s very dear to me, and if you think I will forsake him just because he’s lost his faith in me, you’re wrong.”

The sorcerer turned to look at the ancient creature hovering over his form. “Even if Arthur banishes me, even if he never wishes to see me again, even if he wants to execute me, it’s fine. I’m going to keep him safe.”

Kilgharrah’s expression was unreadable. “ **_You have changed, young warlock. I can’t tell if it’s for the better or for the worse_ **.”

With that, the dragon spread his wings and took off to the sky. Aithusa took one last look at Merlin, before following the older and wiser creature. The sorcerer watched them fly, and disappear into the clouds. 

* * *

Merlin made camp for the night. He was moving on foot, so it was slow. After some experimentation, and intense concentration, he found that there were some things he could do now that weren’t possible before.

He had a brand new connection to the elements - and doing magic no longer required spells. It was like the entire world around him was _vibrating_ with life. The campfire seemed to call out to him. Fascinated, Merlin reached out his hand towards the flames, inviting them to settle on his palm. He watched in awe, as they seemed to obey his will. 

“ _Greetings, Avatar Emrys”,_ a voice from behind him suddenly spoke. 

Flinching in surprise, Merlin flung himself around and beheld the sight of a spectral apparition of a woman with dark hair and amber eyes. 

She was beautiful. 

“Um”, Merlin stuttered, swallowing. “Who am I speaking with?”

“ _I am Avatar Hala_ ”, the woman spoke, lifting her chin with a faint smile. “ _I was the previous Avatar. I died ten years ago while fighting Karma_.”

A shadow crossed over her ghostly eyes. “ _The Blind Witch_.”

Merlin nodded, shifting uncomfortably. “I do hope you’re here to guide me”, he said shyly. “I don’t… really know what I’m doing with this whole bending thing. I’ve got all these new senses, I can feel the air and the water and the earth in ways I never thought was possible, and I can sense the fire inside me and under my skin - and I’m terrified of the Witch you talk of, I’m scared I won’t be able to save the people I care about, and I’m just very lost right now.”

Merlin inhaled deeply, a red shade covering his cheeks as he realized the extent of his rambling. Avatar Hala seemed rather amused. 

“ _Well, you were reborn, Emrys_ ”, she begun slowly. “ _You were reincarnated. And inside you, you carry the wisdom of every single Avatar that ever lived. Because_ we _are_ you _.”_

Merlin blinked rapidly, nodding slowly. His heartrate had gone to a slightly higher pace - the true meaning of what he’d just become was hitting him hard.

“ _You just came back from the dead_ ”, Avatar Hala’s voice was compassionate. “ _You don’t really know what you’ve become yet. But don’t worry - you will. Me, and all your previous lives will be there for you when you need us.”_

“What does that mean?” Merlin sighed. He was tired of vague talk about the future and destiny - what he needed right now was advice.

“ _What do you want from me right now, Avatar Emrys?”_ Hala’s eyes were curious. 

Merlin sighed, shortly contemplating on how to answer. “I wish to learn how to bend. I need to be ready to fight Karma when she emerges.”

“ _Mastering the elements normally takes years of hard work_ ”, the woman warned, and started to slowly circle around Merlin.

“ _But… since you were a sorcerer of extreme power already before you became the Avatar, you may have a chance at being ready when Karma begins her assault on Albion”,_ she pondered, glancing at Merlin from over her shoulder.

“So, will you teach me?”

Hala smiled. “ _Yes. And the first element you will learn is airbending.”_

****

_“Karma used to be just a normal waterbender”,_ the old Avatar spoke, her translucent eyes fixated on Merlin’s campfire. They were sitting side by side in the small camp the warlock had made, and he was quite certain he’d never listened to anyone as intently as to her.

“ _She was born blind, but instead of that being a disadvantage, she uses water as her eyes. There are tiny drops of water in the air, there’s blood inside humans, there’s water inside every tree and flower and vine. She sees everything, just not with her eyes”,_ Hala explained, sunken into her memories. “ _She learned to bend the blood inside living things, turning people into her own puppets. It’s a cruel art, something forbidden in the societies of all benders.”_

Merlin nodded, shuddering at the thought. 

“ _Well, by studying bloodbending, Karma learned that she could sever the connection between a bender and their abilities. I believe she’d be able to do that with any magic-user, since bending is just one form of magic”,_ Hala’s face was burdened. Her eyes carried such deep sorrow, Merlin could feel it inside his own heart. “ _I couldn’t stop her - she severed the connection I had to my bending abilities, and I lost the fight. But you, Emrys - you have a chance at stopping her.”_

Merlin lowered his eyes, studying the dirt under his feet. “I’m going to try, but… I don’t know if I can do this. _”_

“ _Each of your previous lives has been in your shoes_ ”, Hala smiled faintly. “ _The land I grew up in, the land beyond your seas, was my home and I had people counting on me. I had the responsibility to keep the balance of the world from the moment I was born - because I was the new Avatar.”_

Her smile was warm, and her eyes twinkled. “ _Everyone doubts themselves, Emrys. There’s nobody to tell you what is the right thing to do, or what the future will hold. You’re more in control of your own destiny than you think.”_

Merlin swallowed and gave her a small nod. “So, how do I bend the air?”

Hala sighed, closing her eyes. “ _We shall begin tomorrow morning. Rest now, Avatar.”_

****

  
  


Arthur stared out the window. He was quite certain he’d counted every single rock in the Camelot courtyard, and had named at least half of them. 

Gwen had talked to him through the door half an hour ago, begging for him to let her in. Arthur hadn’t. 

He hadn’t let anyone in. Not since their return. 

The _letter_ lay on his table, crumpled, where it had fallen from his shaking hands. Gaius had given it to him upon their return, and Arthur had read it two dozen times. He knew it by heart now.

It didn’t matter - he grabbed it, and read it again. 

_“Dear Arthur. If you’re reading this letter, it means that I am in one way or another, gone. I hope I can one day tell you everything face to face, but let this letter be the plan B._

_I should probably start from the beginning._

_I was born and raised in Ealdor. My father was Balinor, the last dragonlord. After his death, I carried his legacy._

_My mother is Hunith, who kept me safe and made sure I wasn’t taken away when she realized that I could make the pans and kettles in our kitchen float before I could even walk or talk._

_I was born with magic. It’s as natural to me as breathing or eating, and it’s a part of who I am as a person._

_As I grew up, I learned that magic was hated in the world as a source of evil. It was illegal and punishable by death. And that’s why I had to suppress my abilities, learn to hide what I could do and keep my mouth shut about it, deny myself the one thing I loved the most._

_Many nights I dreamt of a world where the ban was lifted, and I was free to do magic. Many nights I hoped I could do something to help the people around me, but I knew that if I did, a witchfinder would surely come to my village and take me away._

_My mother sent me to Camelot because she feared my magic was growing too powerful to keep hidden in a small village such as Ealdor. People already talked. So I was sent to live with Gaius, who was familiar with my parents._

_I met Gwen. I met you, and what a prat you were back then... and then I met the Great Dragon. I heard him calling out to me from the cave he was chained in, and I went to see him._

_What the dragon told me gave me many sleepless nights. He told me that my gift, my magic, was given to me for a reason. That my destiny and yours were so deeply intertwined, that he referred to us as the two sides of the same coin. I told him no way is this pillock of a prince going to be my destiny, and no way am I going to help him._

_Well, we know how that turned out._

_I used my magic while hiding in plain sight, because nobody would look at a servant boy twice. I learned more about spells, and I used my skills to help you in any way I could._

_It’s difficult. Having to hide who I really am, holding inside more power than anyone I’ve ever known, and never being able to tell anyone. Knowing that you were raised in a world where you were always taught magic was evil, that according to your laws I should have been executed the moment I was born. All I ever wanted to do was help you fulfill your own destiny as the Once and Future King._

_Magic is not evil. It’s only as evil as it’s wielder. A sword is not evil for cutting a man - it all depends on the man who carries the sword. You told me once you thought that the power brought by magic is enough to corrupt anyone._

_Well tell me Arthur - am I corrupted? I am said to be the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk this earth - and my mind is clear._

_I am sorry for a lot of things, though. And I think I should apologize for them now._

_I’m sorry I wasn’t able to save your father, I tried. I really did._

_I’m sorry I’m not who you thought I was. I know you think I’m a helpless servant, but I’m not. I’m still the same person, but I’m just more than you always thought of me._

_I’m sorry I lied to you all these years, but I was scared. I was scared of what you’d do when you found out, and that I’d forever ruin our friendship. I was scared that you’d banish me, or burn me at the stake - and I didn’t want to put you in that position._

_Eventually I came to the conclusion that it was my part to help you overcome your challenges while hiding in the shadows. I’m okay with being a silent guardian. I don’t mind being just a servant - it is a role I’ve begun to cherish. And I wouldn’t have it any other way._

_I hope you won’t hate me for who I am. But even if you do - it’s okay. I understand if you do, and I accept whatever you think of me._

_But know this - I am not your enemy - I never was, and I never will be. I am your friend. Never forget that. What defines me as a person is not my magic, it’s the friendship I’ve had with you._

  * _Merlin_



Then he read it again. And again, and again, and again, until the bitter tears shrouded his vision for good, and he had to stop to weep.

Because Merlin was gone, and there was nothing he could do about that. Merlin was gone and he would never be able to see him again; he’d never be able to ask about all the things he’d done for him and for his kingdom; never again would they share a laugh; he would never wake up to the idiotic “ _Rise and shine!”_ ; never again would he be able to talk with the first person who’d seen past his crown, who had made him the man he was today. 

Because Merlin was gone, and the walls of Camelot had never felt less like home than they did on that day. 

* * *

“ _Airbending means manipulating and controlling air with your magic. It’s considered to be the most dynamic and flexible art of elemental magic. Usually airbenders avoid direct confrontation, since the art of manipulating air is less physical than the rest of the three elements. Airbenders are known to be peaceful, and they constantly seek spiritual enlightenment, having a strong concept of self and their surroundings, and about the world itself.”_

“So that’s why you want me to master it first”, Merlin bit his lip. 

“ _Yes”,_ Hala laughed. “ _Before teaching you to bend the elements, though, you need to master the art of meditation. As the Avatar, you must seek to find balance within yourself before you can bring balance to the world.”_

“I understand”, Merlin said, sitting down to the cold ground.

“ _The best way to meditate is sitting down, because that’s how you’ll be able to remain concentrated and you won’t tire fast. You should put your legs on top of each other”,_ Hala instructed, pointing at Merlin’s feet.

“Um”, the sorcerer grit his teeth. “I’m not very flexible…”

“ _You’ll get used to it. Bending the elements is nothing like casting spells, uttering a few fancy words - it’s physical, you’ll be using your entire body to control the elements. Getting to the proper meditation form is the easiest part of your journey, I promise”,_ Hala assured him. 

She was being serious, Merlin realized. With a groan, he pulled his legs on top of each other and tried to ignore the strain it brought. 

“ _It hurts the few first times, but after you do it enough, it’ll come naturally”,_ the woman told him. “ _Keep your back straight, and place your hands on your lap. And then I want you to close your eyes and relax your breathing.”_

Merlin was ready. He had to abandon all thoughts about _Arthur_ and home and about the looming threat of a maniac bloodbender. If the warlock wanted any chance at beating her, he _had_ to learn how to control the elements. 

He had to.

Drawing in a deep breath, Merlin focused on the steady rise and fall of his chest.

In and out.

“ _Observe the air moving in through you.”_

In and out.

“ _Observe the transition between each inhale and exhale.”_

In and out, and he thought of nothing but breathing for the next hour. It could have been longer, for all he knew. Merlin’s head felt strangely light when he forced himself to have a blank mind, to let go of all the strange thoughts dwelling up inside him.

“ _Very good. There is much you need to learn and understand about yourself. Who are you, Merlin?"_

It was the first time Avatar Hala had called him with his real name. The name that was really his. Emrys had always felt more like a title to him. 

_Who are you, Merlin?_

He was a mess, for a start. Death and rebirth were not something one went through lightly. And he only had the faintest idea about what it meant to be the Avatar - what did it even mean to bring balance to the world? What did it mean to be the bridge between the worlds?

" _Focus."_

Hala's voice brought him clarity. 

Inhale. Exhale.

_"I am Merlin, friend of Arthur Pendragon. I am also Emrys, and I am destined to walk beside the Once and Future King."_

Hala's words penetrated his thoughts. 

" _This you know. But what about being the Avatar? Search within yourself, and you shall see."_

Her words echoed inside Merlin's mind. Focusing his attention into the magical energy within his body, he studied it. What did his magic look like?

_Light. Gold and white. Pure, raw, cosmic energy, swirling around inside him._

Merlin looked deeper, and he suddenly felt hyper-aware of different spots in his body. His spine, arms and legs seemed to tingle with energy, and he frowned. 

The warlock studied the energy in his back, feeling the constant flow. He'd never known it was there until now.

" _Your chi lines",_ Hala's voice was soft.

" _What's that?"_

" _Chi is the metaphysical energy which flows within the human body. It is the very reason you're able to perform magic in the first place."_

" _I don't understand."_

 _"Magic is all around us. It's in every living thing, in the fabric of the earth itself. The energy within us, the chi, is what connects us all to the world. Magic exists everywhere, it lives inside everyone. Bending the elements can be performed by people who have the innate ability to manipulate the chi within them to a point where the energy can extend beyond the human body, and interact with the environment."_ Hala was silent for a moment. _"People in your land follow the Old Religion. They use spells to channel the magical energy within them, and are able to manipulate their chi in ways benders never could."_

Merlin seemed to finally grasp even a fraction or what he was dealing with. Learning of something so essential about the nature of the world itself seemed almost liberating.

He felt Hala's presence again. 

" _You, Avatar Emrys, are the first person in the history of all humans to have the ability to harness the full potential of your chi, to be both a bender and a sorcerer, to manipulate the elements and to cast spells - and right now you're probably the most powerful entity that has ever existed in this world."_

Merlin swallowed uncomfortably, but let Hala continue. Her smile was soft.

" _And despite all the power you hold, all the things you can do, when I asked you who you are - the very first thing you said was 'friend of Arthur Pendragon'."_

****

The next morning, when the sun had only barely come up, Merlin was woken up by Avatar Hala.

“ _It is time we head to the mountains_ ”, she said quietly. “ _You must meditate with the winds, to be able to feel the breeze in your very soul, if you wish to bend it to your will.”_

“But-” Merlin hesitated. “I should return to the citadel… I should tell Arthur and Gaius that I am still alive.”

“ _There will be a time for that_ ”, Avatar Hala replied. “ _But this is a journey you must take now, if you wish to take your place in the world._ ”

Merlin’s heart ached - it was as if everything in his soul was pulling him towards Camelot, to Arthur - but his destiny was elsewhere right now. Arthur was fine for now, and if Merlin was to defend Camelot from Karma’s threat, he’d need to be ready. 

“Fine”, he let out a defeated sigh. Merlin threw a somber glance over his shoulder to the direction where Camelot lay, his heart filling with longing.

_I’m sorry, Arthur. I’ll return when the time is right._


	3. Cold comes the night

* * *

“What does it mean to be the Avatar?” Merlin asked when he was climbing up the rocky terrain, jagged cliffs and cold gusts of wind surrounding him. Avatar Hala’s eerie spirit turned around, a curious look in her amber eyes.

“ _You will find out in time_ ”, she simply said. 

“Please, just tell me something”, Merlin sighed. He was sick of vague and meaningless advice. “I have no idea what I’ve stepped into.”

Avatar Hala stopped and slowly turned around. Her eyes had narrowed.

“ _Take off your boots_ ”, she ordered. 

“What?” Merlin couldn’t cover his surprise. 

Hala didn’t elaborate, so he quietly obeyed and was then standing on the cold rock barefeet.

“ _Now, close your eyes_.”

Sighing, he obliged and tried to ignore the freezing tingle in his toes. 

“ _You’re an earthbender, Emrys_ ”, the dead Avatar told him. “ _Now feel the earth. Can you sense the eagles nesting twenty feet away from us? Can you sense the small caverns and the creek flowing below us?_ ”

Merlin pushed aside the uncomfortable cold, and focused on what he could feel. Avatar Hala was right - at first it was just a faint feeling, kind of like fading echoes - but when he really put his mind to it, the seemed to intensify against his feet. 

“ _I can_ ”, he whispered, a small laugh of surprise escaping his mouth. 

“ _Now, feel the air. Feel it flow around you, touch you, feel it every breeze and every inhale. It’s all around you_.” 

“ _I feel it_ ”, Merlin nodded. 

“ _No, not yet_ ”, Hala murmured. “Feel _it, boy_.”

Her voice echoed inside his head, and Merlin focused. The way the wind acted around him did seem strange. Even though his eyelids were closed, he felt like he knew beforehand when every gust of wind hit his back. Merlin swallowed, slowly raising his hand. 

The wind blew through his fingers, and it caused a tingle in his fingertips. It was as if something clicked inside him - suddenly Merlin felt like he could talk to the winds, like it was _alive_ around him. On a whim, the sorcerer grabbed the air and he felt it’s flow inside his closed fist. 

He gasped slightly.

He was holding wind inside his fist. 

As Merlin released the breath he’d been holding, he also relaxed his hand. The wind tickled his palm as he let go.

“ _That creek below us_ ?” Hala uttered softly. “ _You can feel it moving against the rocks, the power it holds. Water heals, water harms. It can be the rejuvenating drink after a long walk, or it can be the ice that pierces your enemies hearts. Whatever you want it to be_.”

The water was far away, so he had trouble finding it without using his feet as a tool. When he did, he thought about everything Hala had said and focused in finding the potential inside the element - as he felt the water flow below him, it’s flow of energy becoming more and more apparent. He knew what Hala meant.

“ _And finally_ ”, she spoke. “ _Feel the fire inside you. Find it from the pits of your body, where your chi flows through you. There’s a spark in every single drop of your blood, woven into your very bones, and most importantly, it burns inside your heart_.”

Merlin took a deep breath, studying himself. As he thought about the inner fire concept that Hala spoke of, he felt a tingling, warm sensation in his fingertips. Swallowing, Merlin felt the aggressive surge of energy in his hands. It was burning hot and powerful and dangerous, but it also warmed his shivering body. He felt it spread through every limb, making him sigh in delight. 

Merlin opened his eyes. “ _I feel it. I feel it all_.”

Hala smiled faintly. “ _The connection you had before, to all the arcane energies you felt when your chi was limited to the powers you had before your death… that is_ nothing _compared to the relationship you now have with the elements_.”

Her face relaxed, as she gazed down to the forest. “ _You are connected to_ everything _, but that’s not all you need to know about being the Avatar. What you are now_ -” she turned her eyes to Merlin’s, her expression intensifying, “ _is the human embodiment of light. It is the Avatar’s sacred duty to master the four elements, and use them to keep the peace between all humans_.”

Merlin shifted uncomfortably on his feet. “ _Does that mean I cannot take part in wars_?”

“ _No_ ”, Hala replied. “ _Previous Avatars have fought and killed in numerous wars. But you must be sure in your heart, that you are on the side of what is right for the world. Do not kill in vain - all life is sacred. And it is your job to know what is right and what is wrong. You can always meditate and connect with one of your previous lives, to ask for advice - but you are the one with the power to make decisions_.”

Merlin nodded slowly, processing the information. “ _You also said that I’m the bridge between mankind and the spirit world_.”

“ _Yes_ ”, Hala stated simply. “ _Spirits do not walk this realm any longer. They used to, long ago, but no more. As the Avatar, you are part spirit, and therefore you have an innate connection to the Spirit World. If you meditate in places with a strong spiritual energy, you’ll be able to pass on to their realm._ ”

“What does that mean?” Merlin asked carefully. “Like Lake Avalon?”

“ _Yes, that lake is filled with magic_ ”, Hala told him. “ _It’s also why you ended up in the Spirit Realm in the first place, and met the Avatar Spirit_.”

“ _I don’t really understand who it was, though_ ”, said Merlin. “ _I mean, are you the Avatar Spirit? How does it work_?”

“ _The Avatar Spirit is all of us_ ”, she simply said. “ _We are all the Avatar. The Spirit lives inside you now._ ”

Merlin’s heart began beating faster as he felt a sudden burst of magical energy surround him. He blinked rapidly as countless figures of blue-hued, spectral shapes of men and women appeared around him. Ancient magic rolled off of them in waves, indescribable power making him shiver.

There must have been hundreds of them.

Merlin flinched as their eyes began shining a bright white light, the same kind that the entire Avatar Spirit had been made of. It shone out of their mouths as well, as they all began speaking;

“ **_We are the Avatar_ ** **.** ”

Their brightly shining eyes seemed to penetrate his skin. “ **_And so are you._ **”

* * *

“Arthur”, Gwen’s voice came from the other side of the door. “We need to talk. It’s not about, um, _him_. But we got a visitor, from Mercia. They bring worrisome news.”

Arthur thought about his wife’s words. Perhaps his duties as the king would even take his mind off of… _him._

Slowly, the king got up and walked to the door. He hesitated for a moment, but as he heard Gwen sigh on the other side and begin walk away, he unlocked the door. 

The queen stopped in her tracks, and Arthur could almost smell her surprise.

Emotions swam in her deep brown eyes as she studied the king. Arthur retreated back into the darkness of his chambers. 

“I’m sorry I’ve been…” Arthur started slowly, unsure of how to continue. 

“Arthur”, Gwen’s voice was frail and her eyes were wet, as she gently stroked Arthur’s knotted hair. “You don’t need to apologize. I understand.”

The king swallowed, blinking away the tears welling behind his eyelids. 

“I pushed you away”, he whispered, burying his head in Gwen’s robe and pulling her closer. “I’m so sorry about that. But I just… needed to clear my head.”

She sighed. “I understand. Truly. Me, Gaius, the knights, we’ve all mourned him. And Gaius told us his story. I hope you’re ready to hear it, too.”

Arthur coughed as they pulled apart. An excruciatingly painful sting went through his heart every time he even thought of _him_ \- which was unfortunate, since Arthur was thinking about him nearly all the time.

“He doesn’t have to”, the king said quietly. “I got a letter.”

Gwen frowned, her eyes flicking over to the piece of parchment lying on Arthur’s table. She walked away from her husband and grabbed the letter, sitting down on the king’s bed to read it.

Arthur could hear from the hitching in her throat that she was crying as she read. 

“Oh, Arthur”, Gwen finally whispered. “This is…”

“Yeah”, the king whispered, barely audibly. “I know.”

* * *

After pulling themselves together, the king and queen of Camelot emerged from the chambers together for the first time in a week. Arthur’s head was too heavy and his heart felt too weary to be able to talk to anyone, but he didn’t let it show. The king left his chambers with his chin up and back straight - although anyone who knew him even by a little could see that despite the calm, kingly exterior, there was absolutely nothing behind the eyes. 

Arthur and Gwen sat side by side in the throne room as a guest knelt in front of them. She was a frail young girl with amber hair and big, bright-green eyes. 

“Your majesties”, her voice trembled, and she cleared her throat. “My name is Kyanna, and I come bearing news from your neighbouring kingdom, Mercia.”

She cleared her throat carefully. Arthur could see that this poor girl was absolutely _terrified_.

“Lord Bayard, our ruler, died while defending our kingdom against Saxons. His daughter, Valentina, inherited the crown.” Kyanna stopped for a moment to draw breath. “After the news of Morgana’s death reached the kingdom, queen Valentina ordered the second Purge.”

Arthur’s heart missed a beat, and he leaned forwards. There was loud whispering throughout the throne room. 

Kyanna swallowed, teary-eyed, but kept talking. “She has made prison camps. For everyone who is suspected of sorcery. They’ve collected mountains of enchanted chains meant to bind magic. Some say they’re even doing experiments, or torturing all the witch suspects.”

She let out a choked sob at the end.

Gwen’s brows knitted together. “And how do you know this, Kyanna?”

“The camps are real, I’ve seen one”, she sniffled. “And the other talk is just what I’ve heard the guards say. Um, my sister is one of the people who was taken.”

Her eyes were pleading now. “Queen Valentina is mad. She’s taking in people based on rumours, and even the people who were practicing magic _before_ the first Purge, even if they haven’t touched magic since.”   
Arthur slowly glanced at Gwen, who’s eyes were mirroring his emotions. 

“I’ve heard great stories about the Knights of the Round Table here in Camelot

The king cleared his throat. “You’re very brave for coming all the way here”, Arthur began. “And we thank you. I’ll send a small group of men to verify your story, and we’ll see what we do after that.”

Kyanna looked relieved, bowing deeply. “Thank you, your Majesty”, she choked. 

“Please, escort her to the nicest guest room we have”, Gwen hurriedly told to a nearby guard, who nodded. “Make sure she has every possible commodity.”

Arthur’s head was a mess as he got up from the chair. He had an image of Merlin inside his brain, crossing his arms and raising his brows at him. Arthur grunted and pushes it aside. 

He nodded at Leon, who was approaching him hurriedly. 

“Get the others”, he murmured as the senior knight was within earshot. “Meeting at the round table. _Now_.”

* * *

Merlin sat on top of the windy top of the highest mountain within Camelot borders, where it had taken him days to travel to. He was beyond exhausted, and his mind was filled with unanswered questions. 

Avatar Hala’s spirit sat opposite of him, watching him. 

“ _Emrys_ ”, she spoke. “ _The sacred order in which bending is taught is rotating. I was born as a firebender, into a family of firebenders. Therefore I mastered it first. Normally the next Avatar would be born as an airbender, and therefore you will master it first.”_

“Okay”, Merlin replied slowly, trying to focus his tired mind into what Hala was saying.

“ _You will rest soon, Avatar_ ”, she said gently. “ _But before you do, look within yourself. Focus on your chi lines - the ones running around you heart, branching towards your throat and hands, are the ones you use to channel spells. Those chi lines are the source of energy you’ve used ever since you were born.”_

Merlin swallowed, exploring the energy lines within his body. It was warm and bright, and it made him smile - the magic lived inside him. It had always been there, and it would never leave.

“ _You’ve found it? Good. You know exactly how to use that source of energy. But now I need you to focus on the chi lines in your backbone. They extend all the way to your legs and arms. See them?”_

Merlin did. These chi lines were bright as well, but they weren’t golden - they were white-rimmed. Like the Avatar Spirit. 

“ _Now, that energy is yours to use. I need you to feel the flow of chi within yourself, and focus on the energy running through your spine. You can harness the chi within yourself.”_

Merlin frowned, examining how the magical energy behaved as he slowly extended his hand. The magic within him moved delicately as he touched the wind. 

The sorcerer let out a breath, and gripped the wind with his fingers again. 

“ _Let it go. I want you to_ create _wind, not capture it_ ”, Hala told him. 

“I know a spell to create a whirlwind”, Merlin snarked at her, and she laughed. 

“ _No spells, Emrys. Not this time. Just bend the air._ ”

Sighing, he closed his eyes again. As Hala had taught her the days before, he focused on his breathing - to every inhale and every exhale. 

The chi flowed within him as he began to move his hands. 

“ _The air is yours to command_ ”, Hala whispered. “ _Make it bend to your will.”_

Frowning, Merlin extended his arm, and he felt a small gush of wind leave his palm. His eyes blinked open, and his jaws opened. 

“Did you see that?” he exclaimed.

Hala coughed. “ _Sort of. But your form is terrible. I forgot how…_ non- physical _the magic of the Old Religion is._ ”

“Non-physical?” Merlin repeated, aghast. “It is _not_ non-physical. It takes a lot of effort to channel powerful spells.”

Hala shook her head with a faint smile. “ _No, no. I want you to do the same thing you just did, but use your arm. Really use it._ ”

Merlin frowned, as Hala demonstrated by bringing both her arms together and powerfully extending them forwards. “ _Like so._ ”

“Okay”, the warlock sighed, taking a better stance in the rocky ground. He inhaled deep, and mimicked Hala’s example, punching the air with force.

Absolutely nothing happened.

“ _Your form was better, but you forgot the bending part_ ”, Hala stated. “ _You will learn to channel your chi unconsciously with practice, but right now it’s still unfamiliar to you. Try again._ ”

Merlin swallowed and took his stance again. For a moment, he closed his eyes and focused his chi energy once again, feeling it’s flow through his arms. 

_Bend the air._

Inhale, exhale.

_The energy lives within you, it’s source is your spine. The white light is your own energy. Extend it. It’s your new arm._

Inhale, exhale.

_Bend it._

As Merlin’s open palms extended forwards, it wasn’t only pushing the air - it was _generating_ it, a powerful gust of wind making the already wind-beaten grass on top of the mountain bend with force. 

“ _That is how you bend the air_ ”, Hala said quietly. “ _Well done, Avatar._ ”

* * *

“Arthur”, Gwaine greeted him. “It’s good to see you out of your chambers.”

The snarky knight actually sounded sincere. Arthur’s eyes swept over the six of his most trusted knights - they were weary, somber and silent, mirroring his own feelings perfectly.

Still mourning. Trying to fathom what had happened. 

Wondering how they couldn’t see that Merlin was a sorcerer.

“We need to talk about the situation in Mercia”, Arthur opened the meeting, clearing his throat. 

“Aren’t we going to talk about… you know, Merlin?” asked Lancelot quietly. 

Arthur flinched at his name. Swallowing, he forced himself to look at the knight. “What about Merlin? He’s dead.”

The words seemed to stab his own heart. 

_Merlin. Dead._

“Yes”, Lancelot’s voice wavered, but his eyes were steady as he looked at Arthur. “But there’s some major unresolved tension revolving around him. His final moments. So come on, speak up. We can’t do any missions before we’ve actually talked it through.”

As much as it hurt. As much as Arthur hated it. As much as he wanted to just forget.

He knew Lancelot was right.

“Fine”, Gwaine murmured. “I’ll say it. I’m angry. Why did he never tell us?”

“You saw him out there”, Leon said quietly. “He was a sorcerer powerful enough to take down Morgana while having two stab wounds in his chest.”

“Not just any stab wounds”, Percival pitched in. “They were imbued with power that are meant to destroy creatures of the Old Religion. Even a priestess like Morgana fell to the Excalibur.”

The knights glanced at the sword resting in a hilt on Arthur’s belt. His fingers brushed over it unconsciously. 

“Look”, Elyan joined in the conversation. “We all liked Merlin. He was one of us. But he was breaking the laws of this kingdom, right under our very noses. By definition, he’s a traitor.”

Arthur slammed his fist on the Round Table, letting out a shuddering breath. 

The room went quiet.

“There are things I will never know about Merlin”, he started slowly. “He _lied_ to me. Throughout the years I knew him. He deceived us all, and he made us think he was a helpless servant, when all the while the power he carried would have been more than enough to lay us all to waste.”

He exhaled deeply before continuing. 

“But he didn’t. Call me crazy, but I don’t recall a single time when Merlin raised his hand against any of us. All he ever did was help me. Keep me safe. And he never got any credit for it”, Arthur swallowed. “And why? Because all practitioners of magic are believed to be evil. Because, by definition”, he glanced darkly at Elyan, “people with magic consort with evil forces. I thought that the power brought by magic was enough to corrupt even the brightest soul.”

Arthur collected his thought, closing his eyes for a moment and enjoying the peace inside his mind. He hadn’t realized it before, but he needed this. The king needed to let it all out. 

“But I ask that even one of you comes up to me, looks me in the eye and tells me with a straight face that my manservant, who drank from a poisoned chalice to save my life, who charged unarmed towards a Dorocha, knowing full well that he could die”, Arthur closed his eyes in pain as he remembered the moment. The horror he’d felt. “He could have used his magic, even then, but I would have seen it. And he rather protected his part as my manservant than let me see who he really was. So no one will ever be able to convince me that magic, that _Merlin_ is a force of evil.”

There was pondering silence between the knights for a moment.

Lancelot laid his eyes down, on the cold surface of the table. 

“I knew, Arthur”, he said slowly. “I knew he had magic. I’ve known ever since I first came to Camelot, and I kept his secret.”

Everyone’s eyes jumped to Lancelot. “I didn’t tell anyone, because I knew that whatever he did, he would do to help _you_.”

Arthur heart clenched and he had to make a conscious effort not to show his emotions. 

“He didn’t mean for me to see it”, Lancelot hurried to say. “But we talked about it once with him. I told him that perhaps it was time for Arthur to know the truth. And he told me he would do it when the time was right.”

Arthur gripped the side of the table so hard he was surprised the stone didn’t crumble. 

“And let me tell you this”, Lancelot spoke to all of them now. “He was the bravest, most selfless and most loyal person I’ve ever known. And we’ll never know everything he did for us.”

His dark eyes bounced back to the king. “Especially for you. There was absolutely _nothing_ he wouldn't do to keep you safe. He screwed up a lot, did things he was never proud of, but everything he did, he did for the people he loved.”

Lancelot swallowed, turning his face away. Pain radiated from the knight’s form, and Arthur swallowed down the tears burning in his throat. The man’s words echoed in his mind.

_There was nothing he wouldn't do to keep you safe._

“So in the end”, Lancelot’s voice was rugged, and he cleared his throat. “If you really think about it… the reason he kept the secret for all these years was because he believed it would get in the way of his role as Arthur’s protector.”

“But why?” the king finally choked. “Why would he remain so loyal to me? If I was too blind to see that what he was doing was for my own good?”

Lancelot's voice was gentle. "He believed in you."

“And because it’s his destiny”, Percival said quietly. “According to the prophecy. Since Merlin was revealed to be Emrys, that means Arthur is the Once and Future King.”

Frowning, the king lifted his eyes from the table. “I’ve heard that before. I don’t know what it means.”

Percival seemed uncomfortable having everyone’s eyes fixed on him, and shifted on his seat.

“They’re druidic legends”, he explained. “Emrys is said to be the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth, and he was destined to walk beside the Once and Future King, to guide him to unite the lands of Albion.”

They all stared at the tall knight. “At least that’s how to original legend goes. There are also versions where they fail. And Emrys was also said to be the Morgana’s doom - at least that bit was true.”

Arthur swallowed, slowly leaning back in his chair. 

“But I don’t believe Merlin ever faked anything about himself”, Lancelot added. “He hid his magic, true, but absolutely cherished the friendship he had with Arthur, and with all of us. Destiny or not.”

“I still can’t believe he never told me”, Gwaine said quietly. “Did he think I’d rat him out to his Kingliness?”

Arthur raised a brow, and the knight shrugged. “I’m just saying, if Lancelot didn’t snitch, then I wouldn’t have either.”

Elyan shook his head at his fellow knight. “Obviously for the same reason that he didn’t tell Arthur, his _best friend_ ”, he spoke. “He was scared of what you might think of him. And we can’t really blame him for that. Imagine yourselves in his shoes, and it makes a lot of sense.”

“What do you think, Leon?” asked Gwaine, turning his head towards the most experienced of the knights, who had been quiet thus far.

The man seemed to be woken from a trance, blinking rapidly. 

“Um”, he started slowly. “I think… the way I view magic will be forever changed. And the fact I never got to talk to Merlin about it will haunt me for the rest of my life.”

“Yeah”, Arthur whispered. “That makes two of us.”

* * *

  
  


“ _As you learn to bend the air around you in smallest ways, you’ll have a much easier time learning the other elements_ ”, assured Hala as Merlin struggled to remain in balance over a thin wood plank, laid between two cliffs. 

If he fell, he would surely fall to his doom. 

Swallowing down his fear, Merlin stepped on the plank. 

_I can do this_ , he told himself stubbornly. 

“Okay”, he blew the air from his lungs, taking the first step. The wind around him made him stagger, and a horrifying fear in the pit of his stomach made him instantly return to the safety of ground.

“No way”, he breathed, glancing desperately as Hala.

“ _You must feel the air around you_ ”, she told him patiently. “ _It will support you if you tell it to. Command the wind to keep you from falling. It’s your power.”_

Sighing, he returned to the plank and took another deep breath.

Closing his eyes, he took the first step. Again, the wind almost knocked him over. 

Frustrated, he took one step back. Merlin frowned, instantly returning to the thin piece of wood.

_I need to do this._

_If I do this, magic will be made legal again. Albion will be united. Freya and Will are returned to life. Morgana, too, but she won’t be evil. Someone will tell me about my destiny with clear words and complete sentences that I can understand. Arthur will accept me as I am and welcome me back to Camelot._

As he opened his eyes, he realized he had made his way half way through the plank. The wind around him was answering to his call, being his invisible support against gravity. 

As Merlin realized this, he lost focus and almost fell.

“No, no, no”, he squeaked, regaining his balance in panic as a powerful gust of wind blew him back to stand up straight.

Surprised, he blinked out the water from his eyes.

_I did that._

Swallowing, Merlin took another three steps. The air seemed to ripple around him. 

_I’m going to make it_.

Letting out a sigh of relief, Merlin felt steady ground under his feet once again. 

_Thank the gods._

“ _Well done_ ”, Hala smiled, appearing next to him. “ _You’re already beginning to harness your chi without focusing on it too much. It’ll come naturally to you when you keep practicing. Good work.”_

Merlin grinned. “Thank you.”

* * *

Later that night, when he lay sleeping inside a cave, he was awoken by distant screams. 

Stumbling to his feet, Merlin listened. He stepped outside, allowing the wind to carry the sounds to him, focusing his hearing. 

Yes, screams. Crying. Wailing. 

_What is going on?_

Merlin’s eyes flashed golden as his magic became his vision, quickly flowing down the mountain and into the woods where the sounds came from. 

The spell allowed him to see the path ahead, and a terrifying sight unfolded before him. Merlin swallowed, trying to comprehend what he was seeing. 

There were people putting up tents. 

Merlin’s sight extended forwards and he watched as a line of people was being marched into the incomplete encampment in chains. The metal was jingling and it echoed in the night ominously - the people themselves looked terrible. Their eyes were either empty or desperate or scared. There were both women and men, young and old. 

Merlin flinched as he saw what was carved on their manacles - they were runes. 

These chains were freshly forged to keep in magic. To block the flow of their internal energy. 

Merlin’s breath got stuck in his throat. He stumbled backwards as a soldier marched towards a man who had fallen in line, and raised his whip to strike the prisoner’s back. 

The shock caused by the man’s heart-wrenching scream sent Merlin back into his body. His breathing was rapid, and both terror and anger built up inside him.

He knew exactly what this was.

“They…” he panted, wild energy welling inside him like a brewing storm. “They are starting a _second Purge_?” 

Within seconds, Merlin’s rage reached it’s breaking point. All he had done to try and prove that magic was a source that could be used for good, that it wasn’t _evil_ \- had only lead to this. 

He heard the voices of a hundred past lives layer his voice as he screamed into the sky, feeling the ancient power sizzle within his veins. 

Avatar Emrys felt as the true meaning of the power he had inherited upon his rebirth finally awakened inside him. The rocks around him floated with the power radiating from his body. The slowly falling raindrops stopped dead in their tracks, hanging in the air. A whirlwind surrounded his legs and lifted him from the ground, as fire seemed to consume him from the inside.

Finally the burning-hot pressure built up to the point where Merlin had to roar it out through his mouth. 

“ **_Kilgharrah_ **”, his echoing, layered voice screamed as his let out the fire inside him, slowly feeling his anger fade and turn into despair. 

_Kilgharrah. Please, come._

****

“So, what are we going to do?” Gwaine asked, his eyes glued on Arthur, who’d been pacing around the table for at least half an hour now. 

“I think we should ride into Mercia and check if the rumours are true”, the king finally said. 

“And what if they are?” Elyan pitched in, challenging the king’s aching head to work harder.

Arthur sighed. “If what Kyanna said is true, then I cannot accept it. I refuse to be an ally of a kingdom that tortures innocent people.”

The knights were silent for a while. 

“Um, sire”, Leon began slowly. “Does that mean you’re going to legalize magic?”

The king’s shoulders tensed. That question had been burning in his mind for the past week, ever since Merlin’s death.

“I can’t”, Arthur finally said. “Not yet. If I do it now, Camelot’s people will become a target. And right now my people are far too scared of magic to be able to accept it with open arms again. The time isn’t right.”

To his surprise, the knights seemed to agree with him. The king straightened his back.

“But”, he began slowly. “When this whole thing is over… I will lift the ban."

Arthur’s heart ached painfully when he thought of his friend. 

Merlin was gone, but perhaps what he stood for, his very dream, could live on. What an ungrateful prat and a shit friend would Arthur be if he wouldn't do this for him?

“I owe him that”, he whispered, staring off into the distance, sunken into his memories. 

A firm grip on his shoulder made him turn. Gwaine was smiling at him. 

“A wise decision, your Majesty”, the normally disrespectful knight told him. 

Lancelot stood up. “Merlin would be so happy right now”, he said quietly, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “You have no idea how much it meant to him.”

_No, unfortunately I don’t,_ thought Arthur. _And I never will._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I believe that this is a semi-realistic way to react to Merlin's magic, no? Arthur had a week to mourn and question everything about their friendship, and after pondering the events leading up to the magic reveal, he has come to the realization that Merlin was nothing short of a hero.  
> I hope you enjoyed the read, and words cannot express the joy I feel every time I read a comment - so thank you!


	4. Weep, little lion man

* * *

The steady, strong sound of the Great Dragon’s wings made Merlin stir from the panicked trance he was in.

“ **_Why have you called me, young warlock?_ ** ” Kilgharrah asked. “ **_What’s the matter_ **?”

“Look at what they’re doing”, Merlin whispered. “It’s starting again. Can’t you see? Everything I sought to accomplish, everything I did to bring magic back to Albion… all my efforts, for nothing. They’re purging again.”

Kilgharrah’s eyes widened in anger as he walked to the edge of the cliff, peering down into the woods where the prison camp now stood.

The dragon let out a wrathful grunt that resonated within Merlin’s entire skeleton. 

“ **_How could they_ ** ?” he lifted his upper lip to reveal the massive array of teeth. “ **_Humans…_ **”

Merlin leaned his back against the cold, hard rock, eyes unseeing. 

He was so tired of fighting this battle against ignorant, cruel people who refused to believe magic wasn’t the issue. 

“ **_At first, I couldn’t comprehend why you would accept the role of the Avatar_ ** ”, Kilgharrah’s voice was quiet and low. “ **_Perhaps the reason you were granted this power is because you were meant to put an end to this madness. To restore balance._ **”

Tears welled up behind Merlin’s eyelids.

“How can I?” be let out a sob. “I can’t even bend the elements yet. Sure, I’m still a master of the arcane… but I’m not the Avatar yet. I don't have the time to train properly, look what’s happening out there!”

“ **_You are the Avatar now_ ** ”, Kilgharrah growled. “ **_And you always will be, for the rest of your life. But don’t forget that you’re also Emrys, the most powerful sorcerer ever to walk the earth, the last of the great dragonlords. That is who you are_ **.”

Merlin sucked in a shuddering breath. “Yeah, it’s easy to say I’m all those things. But it’s not as easy to actually live up to them.” 

Kilgharrah’s massive body settled next to him, and his warm scales offered him comfort.

“I had my hands full trying to comprehend my destiny as Emrys”, he swallowed weakly. “But now my destiny has grown even bigger. I’m supposed to roam the earth as the Avatar, keep the balance between mankind and the spiritual - whatever that means - and automatically know what is right and what is wrong.”

“What if I make a mistake, Kilgharrah? What if I fail? I can’t afford to be wrong or make mistakes, because that’ll mean I betray my heritage as the Avatar. If I fail to protect you, Aithusa, the Old Religion - then I will fail my father’s legacy.”

Angrily he wiped away the tears of frustration. 

“It’s too much, sometimes, Kilgharrah”, he whispered. “And I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

The dragon’s golden eyes turned towards him. “You know what to do, Merlin. You should do what your heart has been telling you to do ever since you returned from the dead.”

The warlock swallowed, watching the immense wisdom and pure essence of magic swim within the golden depths of the Great Dragon’s eyes. They were so familiar, so full of kinship and unspoken truths that Merlin felt instantly at home.

_Home._

“ _Thank you, Kilgharrah_ ”, he sent the message through his mind. 

“ _You were never meant to fight this battle on your own_ ”, the dragon told him. “ _You can always go home.”_

* * *

Arthur stood behind his court physician’s door, having an internal battle on whether to knock or to walk away. 

He did need answers. And Gaius knew Merlin better than anyone, apparently - so Arthur knocked. 

The physician was aged, so the king could hear him getting creakily up from his chair and slowly walk up to the door. 

Gaius looked older than ever before. The lines on his face were deeper, his hair had lost its shine, and his eyes were deep and sad. 

“Sire”, he greeted formally, tilting his head towards the floor. “I’ve been expecting you.”

Arthur swallowed. “May I come in?”

Gaius made an inviting gesture with his hand and retreating back into his chambers. The king’s heart ached as his eyes swept over the room that had been Merlin’s. 

The physician sat down on a chair in front of the fireplace, sighing deeply as he did. 

“What on your mind, Arthur?” he asked wearily, taking a sip of something steaming and good-smelling. 

“Um”, Arthur bit his lip, slowly taking the seat next to him. “I wanted to talk… to talk about…”

“Merlin”, Gaius finished for him. 

His name seemed to send a painful sting through both of their hearts. 

“Yes”, the king whispered. “I wanted to know everything he did for me. That you know of.”

Gaius’ smile was sad, but his eyes twinkled for a moment. “That would be a very long conversation, I’m afraid. But I’ll tell you this”, he took another sip of his drink before continuing.

“On a particularly hard day he once did rant to me about having saved your life so many times he’d actually lost count.”

Arthur let out a huff of air. “Oh yeah? I’ve been thinking… all those trips to the tavern-”

“Arthur, my boy”, Gaius sighed, leaning forwards. “I’m quite sure Merlin didn't even know where the tavern _is_.”

That made the king smile.

“You know, that boy was never sure of himself. On anything. All he did was doubt himself, get himself into trouble, and basically flirt with death on every waking moment”, Gaius reminiscenced.

Arthur snorted. “Flirt with death?”

Gaius smiled at him. “Believe it or not, he was dangerously careless with where he used his magic. I tried to scare him once by telling him that if you ever found out who his servant really was, he’d be a dead servant. He never really listened to me.”

The king stared into the fire, exhaling slowly. “I’m going to legalize magic, Gaius.”

The physician froze, slowly lifting his head. “Sire?”

“Not today”, Arthur added. “Not tomorrow. But once this whole thing about the second Purge calms down, and once people start to forget what Morgana did… I will lift the ban on magic in Camelot.”

“Oh, Arthur”, Gaius whispered, and the king could see tears welling up in his eyes. 

“Please”, the king muttered. “Merlin had to die for me to see the truth, and for that I will never forgive myself.”

Gaius bit his lip, seemingly unable to form the correct words to say.

“You never would have hurt him, would you?” the physician finally said. “Maybe at the beginning, when you didn’t yet know each other. But after everything you two have been through, in eight years? You wouldn’t have banished him. You wouldn’t have burnt him at the stake. My fear for his safety clouded that - and Merlin? All his life he’s been told to hide everything about himself, everything that made him special… or he’d be executed. He was afraid. But you would have never.”

“Of course not”, Arthur whispered. “And magic didn’t make Merlin special. He was special, to me. To the knights. To Gwen. And we never knew.”

Gaius looked down at his hands, nibbling at his fingers. “I suppose he never really realized that. But you must believe me when I say this, he never had any ulterior motives - not with you.”

“I know that”, Arthur replied quietly. “It just feels like… I never really knew him at all, but at the same time I did. And that’s killing me. I just wish there was a way I could talk to him again. Even just to... hear his voice again.”

He swallowed the lump down his throat and blinked the wetness away from his eyes.

Gaius swallowed another sip of his drink. “Me too, sire. But death doesn’t take just those who deserve it, or those who are old”, he smiled woefully. “It just takes, and takes, and takes.”

* * *

Punching the air mindlessly as Merlin descended down the mountain, he enjoyed the feeling that he finally seemed to get a grasp on airbending. The wind generating from his fists seemed stronger the steadier his hands were, and the more he practiced the more he seemed to _get it_. 

Merlin made camp for the night after he’d walked down the mountain for hours, exhausted enough to fall asleep within minutes - only to be woken up but moments later to hushed voices around him, and something sharp stinging his neck. Confused, Merlin’s hand flew to the hurting part of his skin, feeling the small object sunken into his flesh. 

It was a dart. 

* * *

The next time he came to, he wasn’t in a forest any longer. Instead, Merlin found himself being carried by someone with very strong arms and broad shoulders. 

Slowly blinking and turning his head, he realized that they were walking. Groaning, Merlin immediately noticed that something was wrong as his head began aching with a hollow pain. 

Something was terribly wrong. Raising a hand to rub his stiff neck, Merlin quickly realized several things at the same time.

There were cuffs on each of his limbs, as well as an uncomfortable metal collar around his neck. Running his fingers on them, he felt the runes carved on the metal surface. He realized that the jingling sound he heard was the sound of hundreds of chains trailing the ground.

The second thing was that he was hurting, all over. His bony wrists felt like they were bruised all over, or sprained, or… _something_. 

Unfortunately Merlin was familiar with these runes. He knew exactly what they did. 

Apparently whoever had made these, knew that magic could only be fought with magic. The sole purpose of these cuffs was to bind his magic in place. To mute it, render it useless. Whatever spells or magic Merlin would try to use, would simply amplify the effects of the runes, would make the bindings all the more stronger.

They were the perfect tool to imprison even the strongest of sorcerers.

Merlin realized he was now one of those poor people he’d seen before. He was one of the prisoners, with no way of telling anyone that he was here, with no one coming to rescue him - hell, nobody even knew he was alive. 

And unbeknownst to him, the knights of the Round Table and their king rode off into the rising dawn through the gates of Camelot, urging their horses forwards - for their goal was to reach Mercia within two days.

* * *

As soon as Merlin was back in control of his legs, the gigantic man who’d been carrying him put him down and nodded at his gently, despite the man’s obvious exhaustion. 

Merlin was taken to the back of the line and shackled to the person in front of him. The chains weren’t very long and it was uncomfortable to walk in such short steps. Very quickly the sorcerer’s back and neck began aching, and his legs turned sore after hours of walking. 

“Where are they taking us?” asked somebody in front of him. Merlin had been asking that of himself for the past hour. 

“I heard rumours about queen Valentina’s plans”, another voice replied quietly. “Some say she’s going to set up a mass execution. Burn us all!”

Merlin shivered, trying to ignore the consuming fear growing inside his chest. 

He’d never told anyone that his worst fear in the world was being burnt alive. 

The shackles around his wrists and neck felt like they were making his skin feverish and freezing at the same time. The warlock felt his magic move and live underneath his skin, but the enchanted restraints had been specifically designed to keep all of it _inside_ . Nothing could escape, not without a key.

He’d never felt this helpless. Merlin thought about Arthur, Gaius, Gwen, his mom, all the knights - if only he’d gone straight home from Lake Avalon, if only he’d gone straight back to Camelot and faced Arthur… he may not have been in this mess.

He knew that _if_ s were useless at this point.

Merlin couldn’t even hope for Kilgharrah to find him - these people would try to kill or capture him on sight. 

And Aithusa… his heart couldn’t bare anything happening to the albino dragon, still healing from the last time humans had hurt her.

He was on his own. 

* * *

Arthur was tired. They’d been riding all day, only stopped to take pee breaks and the occasional snack. 

And they’d just sneaked over Mercia’s borders. To avoid getting seen, they rode through the cold and remote mountain paths. Eventually they all had to admit that their horses were too tired from walking in the rocky terrain, and to make camp for the night. 

The king woke his knights in the wake of dawn, after having barely slept for two hours himself, and got back on his horse. 

Even Gwaine was silent as they rode downhill from the breezy mountain range, towards the thickening forest. They’d need to stay in there to avoid detection. 

“What exactly are we looking for?” asked Gwaine finally. 

“A prison camp”, Leon replied in a tired voice. 

“We’ll need to go to some town to ask around”, replied Arthur. “We’ll need to be discreet, of course - ditch the capes and the mail and we’ll be fine.”

“Fair enough”, stated Elyan. “There’s a town called Iomhar about a few hour’s ride away. We could ask around in there.”

“Lead the way”, Arthur suggested, and the well-travelled man rode ahead.

* * *

Merlin and his fellow prisoners had been walking for two days, taking the minimum required breaks and spending the nights huddled close together for warmth and comfort. 

Now, it seemed, they were finally arriving at their destination. The prisoner group in which Merlin was had about thirty people, excluding the five guards. 

One of the older prisoners had fallen over the day before, too tired to continue - the guards would have taken him away if the same, big man who’d carried Merlin earlier hadn’t volunteered to take him on his back. 

He immediately gained Merlin’s respect. If he got the chance, he would definitely try and make friends with him. 

They arrived to their destination at sunset. It was a large camp at the very back of Mercia’s borders, where the mountains were lower and the woods were sparse. The encampment was surrounded by a sturdy log wall, and there were large tents within the fenced area. 

_Where would the prisoners be sleeping?_

Merlin knew that they wouldn’t be killed - not after all this trouble of getting them here. These people wouldn’t have bothered. 

Merlin threw a bitter glance towards the witchfinder in charge of the foot soldiers who were keeping the captives in check. She was a tall, tight-mouthed woman with a sturdy leather armor and perfect posture. 

Merlin shuddered as her eagle-eyes swept over him. 

“Move it, maggots”, she growled at their slow pace, hitting some poor woman to the back of her head. 

Anger flashed inside Merlin and he felt his Avatar powers stir inside him. Bitterly he swallowed it down, and bit his tongue. The last thing he wanted was to draw attention to himself. 

Very soon it dawned on Merlin that there was plenty of room for all the prisoners - underground. The camp itself was but a moderate-sized clearing, but when you entered the mines - or whatever the hell that place had originally been - there was suddenly hallways and openings everywhere. The maze of a mine soon opened up into a large cave, the floor being so far up that he had to narrow his eyes to see all the way. 

It was dark. Age-old tracks ran along the earthen floor, and they were kicked onwards towards the end of the cave. 

Merlin’s mind was filled with anxiety as he realized he could no longer feel the vibrations of the earth in his feet - the manacles in his ankles were preventing all seismic information from reaching his brain. 

“Alright, this is your new home”, said the witchfinder. “You will refer to me as madame Verna, and I’ll be watching over you pitiful magic-abusing lot. This place is called camp Tellen, and it’s establishments such as this that will help us rid the world from vermins like you.”

Her cold, grey eyes swept the crowd. Merlin bit his bottom lip, lowering his eyes to the ground as she looked over to him. 

“Let me go over the rules”, she said next, her nasal voice taking a sharper tone. “You’re here to pay for the evil you’ve committed in the past… and for what you would have in the future.”

Verna glanced angrily at a shivering, frail girl who tried to make herself as small as possible. 

“You will work until we give you permission to rest. You will not speak unless spoken to. All insubordination will have consequences. You, am I making myself clear?”

She suddenly addressed a young man in the front row, who carefully whispered: “Crystal.”

“Perfect”, she narrowed her eyes. “Women’s barracks are over there, and men will be sleeping over there. You’ll all be assigned to your tasks tomorrow morning. I suggest you rest when you still can, instead of using your energy to whipping up meaningless escape plans. This place will not be escaped - and anyone who tries, will be get the sword.”

* * *

The beds, as it turned out, were made wooden bunk beds. Their chains were removed, but the cuffs stayed on to suppress their magic. Merlin rubbed his sore wrists, and looked around for the nice large man who’d carried him. 

He was easy to spot. Quickly the warlock made his way to him and stuck close by as the guards were assigning beds. Merlin thanked his luck when they were placed in the same bunk. 

To his surprise, the bunk beds were for four people - there would be two people sleeping in the same bed, and two above them. 

He shivered in his thin blue tunic as some drops of water fell to his skin from the dirt ceiling. There were some dirty and old rags to use as blankets for the cold night - Merlin felt the frost radiating from the floor. The nights were starting to get cold as winter crept closer, and he feared how many of these old people could live through the coldest nights. 

Everyone seemed to fall to bed immediately. Merlin was thankful for the fact he was small and skinny - the giant man took over half of his side too. 

“Hey”, he whispered. The man glanced over to him.

His brown eyes were sad and kind, as he turned his face to Merlin.

“Eirinn”, he said before the warlock even had a chance to ask for his name. 

Exhaustion pulling down his head, Merlin placed it on the hard, wooden base of their bed. “Merlin”, he whispered. “Thanks for carrying me. And that old man - they would have killed him, I think.”

“Yeah”, Eirinn agreed. “I know.”

He was silent for a while. “We’re going to get out of here, you know”, the man told Merlin, who’s eyes were slowly sliding shut. 

“I hope so”, the warlock said, a ghost of a smile tugging on his lips.

As Merlin closed his eyes, he took himself two weeks back - when they were still in the Camelot citadel, when he’d woken Arthur up and brought him breakfast and listened to his moaning about the choice of his servant’s wake-up methods. He thought about Lancelot and Gwaine, how those two were always there for him when he needed them the most. Merlin thought of Gaius, his heart aching as he knew how much the old physician had cared for him.

_He thinks I’m dead. They all do._

 _What if my…_ deception _has made him support the Purge? What if we’ll be getting people from Camelot down here soon?_

_What if Arthur spits on my grave, refusing to ever trust anyone again?_

Swallowing down the tears burning in his throat, Merlin told himself _no_. 

Arthur wouldn’t. He knew Arthur, and he would never do _this_ to his people. Not even if his hatred of magic reached the levels of his father.

Arthur would never.

* * *

“It’s true”, was the first thing the townspeople of Iomhar told them. An old lady told them, crying, that her only daughter had been taken away. 

Her daughter was a healer, who used spells to weave back the broken skin in some kids’ knees when their games got too wild and one of them fell. Men the people referred to as 'the Queensguard' had taken her away two days ago.

Arthur’s throat burned as Leon placed his hand reassuringly on the lady’s shoulder, squeezing it sympathetically. 

“Can anyone tell us where it is?”

“In the mountains, east of Rockstead”, murmured a man with weatherbeaten skin and small, bitter eyes. “They’re taking them down to the Tellen mines. I heard one of the queen’s knights talk about it when they were passing through.”

Anger sizzled in Arthur’s veins, and he was seeing red when the villagers told him that they were taking even the offsprings of passed sorcerers, believing that the evil of magic had to be purged from the second generations as well.”

These people were _terrified_ by their own queen and her team of witchfinders. 

“And that’s not all”, some farmer said. “They’re starting to bring people from other kingdoms, too - all the way from Deira and Anglia. Our queen has promised to lend her witchfinders to them and bring all the ones they find back here. There are other camps being built I hear, but I think Tellen is the biggest one for now.”

“Thank you”, Arthur grunted, jumping back on his horse. They needed to get out of this town before someone unwanted saw them. 

The knights followed reticently. 

* * *

“ _Avatar Hala, I need you”,_ Merlin begged inside his mind. Perhaps his connection to the spiritual wasn’t completely gone. “ _Please. If there’s anyone in there… I need help.”_

He didn’t expect anything to happen, but it was worth the try. Merlin was about to give up and try to get somesleep while listening to the weeping of the hundred imprisoned sorcerers around him, but then he heard it. 

“ _We are here, Avatar Emrys. We aren’t connected to you through your chi. We live inside your soul.”_

His eyes opened in a second, and suddenly Merlin was wide awake.

“ _Avatar Hala?”_ he hesitated, looking around discreetly.

“ _I am here_ ”, he felt her touch against his cheek. 

Letting out a breath of relief, he closed his eyes for a moment. “ _Thank the gods. I’m in trouble.”_

 _“Yes, you are_ ”, the older Avatar simply stated. “ _You cannot escape these bonds on your own, but perhaps… there is something you can do.”_

Merlin blinked slowly, a frown crawling to his face. “ _What do you mean?”_

_“Well… you could try astral projection. It’s an advanced method used by the most accomplished airbenders.”_

Merlin swallowed, waiting for her to continue. 

“ _You’d be able to see what’s happening outside this place, at the very least. But it is dangerous - there are some unknown creatures that roam the Astral Plane”,_ her voice turned ominous, and sent a shiver down the warlock’s spine.

“ _More dangerous than this place?”_ he asked quietly. “ _I’ll take my chances. How do I do it?”_

Hala didn’t answer for such a long time Merlin almost thought she’d left him.

Finally she said; “ _I cannot teach you this. You must speak with Avatar Rakan.”_

Then Merlin felt the warmth of her presence leave, making his heart rate rise for a moment. 

_Avatar Rakan. Got it._

Inside his mind, Merlin began searching for the past life Hala had spoken of - it took him ten whole minutes of searching through the magical energy welling inside him before he heard a new voice inside his head.

“ _I am Avatar Rakan. You wish to speak with me?”_

 _“Yes”,_ Merlin breathed, his hope returning. “ _I need to learn astral projection.”_

 _“Ah”,_ Avatar Rakan’s ragged voice spoke. “ _That’s why you sought me out. I was born into an airbender monastery, and I learned astral projection when I was very young. I can teach you.”_

Merlin exhaled in relief. “ _Thank you. I’d like to begin at once.”_

* * *

Arthur and his five knights did reach the town close to the Mines. They could see the outer walls of the encampment - they were made of log poles, sharpened at the top to prevent escape attempts. 

“This’ll be hard”, he murmured. “We’ll have to disguise ourselves as the guards.”

“Easy”, Gwaine told him. 

“We can’t all go”, Leon replied, and Arthur agreed. 

“I’m going”, the king announced. “I’ll take one of you with me. Which one?”

All five of them raised their hands, and his heart was warmed by their bravery once more. Yes, their brains were sometimes full of sawdust, but these were undoubtedly the most loyal men he would ever know.

Arthur narrowed his eyes, deciding to take the tactical approach. “Leon”, he finally said. “I think we two will attract the least attention.”

The other four sighed in disappointment. “What do you want us to do?” asked Percival.

“Stay here”, Arthur replied with a murmur. “Watch our stuff. We’ll be back by sundown tomorrow.”

“And if you’re not?” Lancelot asked, and the others quieted down. Their eyes were glued to Arthur.

“Then gods help us”, said the king. 

* * *

It took them two whole hours to find a pair of guards to come take a leak to the side of the woods. They were looking gloomy, glancing towards the ominously cloudy sky every once and again. The knights stalked them from behind the trees, waiting until the men were done relieving themselves. As the pair turned around to return to their posts, they struck.

The poor guards didn’t stand a chance against Camelot’s finest, and they efficiently undressed them. 

“These two will come with us to Camelot”, Arthur nodded at their two prisoners, who were just being roped together by Percival. He placed the uncomfortable helmet on his head and checked to see if Leon was ready. 

The knight’s armor seemed slightly too small for him, but Leon didn’t complain. 

“Ready, sire?” he asked, and Arthur nodded. “Let’s go.”

Settling into their new roles they went to the posts outside the gates. When morning came, there would be a shift change. And then they’d be ready. 

* * *

Merlin woke up to a loud and angry guard yelling at them. 

“Get to work, ya maggots”, he grumbled, grabbing the nearest prisoner. “I will be the one assigning you to your posts, and according to the role you get you’ll join one of these fine gentlemen”, the short man signed towards a few guardsmen standing in waiting. 

“They’ll take you to where you need to be. Form a line. Quickly.”

Most men stood up without protest - some took the time to go to the back of the room where the lavatories were.

Merlin took his place behind Eirinn and rubbed his eyes. 

His first attempt and astral projection had quickly ended with him falling asleep. It was harder than Avatar Riki had made it sound. 

“You look strong. To the mines”, decided Shorty, and Eirinn was quickly marched away to the far-left corner where all the even slightly muscular ones were waiting.

“And you”, the Shorty’s eyes fixated on Merlin. He was hungry and exhausted from the lack of proper sleep, rubbing his hurting neck from sleeping all night on a hard plank bed without a mattress while a metal collar pressed on his neck, seemingly never comfortable - so on that moment Merlin really couldn’t be bothered to care when the Shorty called him a wimp.

“What did you do before coming here?” he asked with a raised brow. 

“I was a servant to a noble”, Merlin replied, truthfully. 

“A servant, you say?” Shorty sounded surprised. “Hm. It just happens we have an opening for one. Overseer Eógan just lost his to the flu. Wait behind me, and I’ll take you to him after I’m done with the others.”

_Seems reasonable enough_ , Merlin thought as he took his place behind the man. 

He could get through this. Right?

* * *

Arthur and Leon were relieved of duty at sunrise, and they followed the other guards to the food tent. They stayed discreet, taking their food without any hassle and watched the others. The other guards exchanged crude jokes and talked about some ladies they’d had in the past week. 

Most guards took off into their tents, but Leon and Arthur seemed it fit to take a small stroll into the mine. 

The two guards standing in front of it didn’t stop them. Apparently all guards had access in and out.

“This is going way too smoothly so far”, Leon whispered. “It’s almost unreal.”

“I agree”, Arthur replied. “Let’s just… keep our heads cool, and we’ll make it out just fine.”

The king and the knight entered the large cave, and took in the sight with wide eyes. There were tens of prisoners, if not over a hundred, in the space. Some seemed to be working deeper inside the mine, coming and going through the little walkways in the walls. They were carrying pickaxes or similar tools - but some of them only had their bare hands to work with. 

One thing united every prisoner - they were all wearing the same kind of cuffs. Blue-hued runes glowed on the side of each cuff; there was one in every prisoner’s ankles, wrists, and neck. Most of them looked defeated and beyond exhausted. 

“They’re killing these people with forced labour”, Arthur whispered. 

“We should keep moving, sire”, Leon told him with a frail voice. “We can’t draw suspicion.”

“Right.”

They slowly walked down the entrance of the cave, looking left and right at the admittedly impressive cave. 

It was _massive_ , and these tunnels obviously held riches that the queen wanted to get her hands on.

“Look”, Leon whispered. “Witchfinders.”

Arthur glanced at the direction his senior knight had nodded towards, looking up and down at the two people in leather armor. They were carrying whips, just as every guard in the establishment - but also sharp-looking swords and some potions strapped into their belts. 

Arthur flinched as the other one of the witchfinders, a woman with narrow, mean eyes, glanced over at them. To his relief, she paid them no mind. 

“Hey, you two”, someone suddenly said behind them. “Could you take this to the overseer? I really need to go outside to pee. It’s an emergency, help a brother out.”

It was a fellow guard, reaching out his arm to give them a bowl filled with what smelled like stew. “Thanks!” the guard told them, holding his bladder and started wobbling out. 

“Wait”, Arthur raised his voice. “We’re new. Where can we find the overseer?”

The guard turned around and moaned in anguish. “Just go forwards, through the biggest tunnel right ahead of us. His chambers are at the very back.”

With that, he was gone. Leon shrugged, passing the bowl to Arthur. “I guess we go meet the overseer.”

“Right”, Arthur murmured. “After that, we need to get out of here. We’ve seen enough.”

Leon agreed as they walked down the pathway, trying not to look at the defeated captives. Anger flared inside the king’s heart as one of the guards began beating down a man who’d fallen while carrying a sack of ores.

“This place disgusts me”, he grumbled as they entered the tunnel leading to the overseer’s chambers. 

“Yeah”, Leon replied darkly. 

The corridor was well-supported with wooden beams, and lit with torches. Even the soil beneath their feet seemed to be more well-kept than elsewhere. 

There was a leather sheet covering the doorway, since there was no place for hinges. Arthur and Leon glanced at each other, unsure of what to do. 

Finally Leon cleared his throat. “Overseer? We’ve brought breakfast.”

“Ah, come on in”, a voice called out. Arthur pushed aside the leather sheet and entered the small cave acting as the overseer’s chambers. 

The man himself was heavily-built, tall, and bearded. He had a scar over his left eye, and the top of his head was bald. 

“I forgot to mention that I have a new servant”, he laughed. “Bringing me food is his job now. Oh well, he’s out fetching my letters now anyway.”

“That’s great, sire”, Leon bowed shortly. “We’ll leave you to your meal.”

“Thanks, lads”, the overseer muttered. “Keep up the good work and beat those dogs into line!”

Arthur gritted his teeth as he marched out of the chambers. He swore to himself that he would return to this place and run his sword through that man’s fat gut himself. 

“Let’s get back”, he growled, making his way towards the exit. Leon had trouble keeping up with his pace. 

Little did they know that they missed meeting the overseer’s new servant by about thirty seconds, as he returned through one of the side tunnels and entered his new master’s chambers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One day I'll be a good person.  
> But it is not this day.


	5. Said his name was Merlin

* * *

“Queen Valentina needs to go down”, Arthur announced as soon as the whole council was present. 

“What she does is beyond cruel, and I will not have people treated that way so close to my kingdom.”

“What happened out there?” asked Gaius, who was attending the council meeting for the first time since Merlin’s death. 

Arthur let out a breath, taking himself back to the mines of Tellen. “It was a mine establishment with inside a huge natural cave”, he began. “Me and Leon captured two guards, and disguised ourselves so that we can get inside. We did bring the prisoners here for interrogation purposes”, he mentioned, nodding at the dungeon master who was also present.

“We also asked around the town of Iomhar before approaching the mines”, the king continued. “It seems that mercian witchfinders have not only seized active sorcerers - they’ve also arrested people who practiced sorcerers before the first Purge, and even some who are only related to sorcerers.”

The courtsmen shook their heads, worried mumbling filling the room. 

“What are you proposing we do about it?” asked sir Bedivere, one of his knights. 

Inhaling deeply, Arthur leaned back against his chair. “It needs to stop. I can’t let Camelot be associated with a kingdom that does that - actually, I’d prefer if it didn’t happen at all.”

“Why should we care about what happens inside Mercia’s borders?” asked one of the elderly noblemen. “As long as they don’t come to Camelot, we should stay out of it. It is none of our concern.”

Arthur narrowed his eyes. “It’s not just Mercia”, he stated. “Four other kingdoms have opened their borders to queen Valentina’s witchfinders, and established purging encampments of their own.”

Leon cleared his throat. “I saw what was going on inside there”, he said, eyes glossy. “It was _inhumane._ Queen Valentina has been queen for three months - and already she's done this much. How long before she sets her eyes to Camelot, with her newly established allies? If we aren’t with her, we’re against her. It’s as simple as that - cooperate with her zealotry, or stand in her way and have war.”

“This kingdom has been at war for too long”, someone grunted. “The people are tired. We need peace!”

“There will be peace, when people like her aren’t standing in the way of it”, Gwen pitched in angrily.

“Are we even sure that queen Valentina’s methods are wrong? Mercia is Camelot's ally, and she obviously has a lot of support-”

“Are you short of a marble, Galahad?” asked Gwaine.

“I’m merely insinuating that-”

“Enough!” Arthur bellowed. The room quieted.

He took a deep breath, blinking slowly. “The only reason people are cooperating with her is because they’re scared of what Morgana did.”

The king straightened his back. “Morgana is dead. And there are innocent people being killed. Our people or not, they need to be protected. Here is what we do.”

Arthur stood up, placing his fists on the table. “An ambassador of Camelot will enter Essetir, Nemeth, Gwynned and Gawant. They must be convinced to help us battle this genocidal plan that queen Valentina has brewed up. If it comes down to it, Camelot _will_ prepare for another war. For the sake of what is _right._ ”

* * *

Merlin was climbing up a Rope inside his head. It was endless, but in his mind his hands didn’t get tired, his pace didn’t waver, and he didn’t feel like he’d fall. 

The warlock’s grip on the Rope was strong, but the darkness threatened to consume him. Having been working hard for the overseer for the past fourteen hours straight had taken its toll, and all he wanted to do was fall asleep - but he couldn’t.

Not now. 

“ _You’re almost there, Emrys”_ , Avatar Rakan’s voice whispered faintly. 

_Just keep going_ , the warlock told himself. _For the sake of all these people. I have to stay strong for them, and so that I can maybe go home again._

Thinking back on it now, Merlin didn’t understand why he hadn’t gone straight back to Arthur. The only reason was that he was in denial of what had happened, and what would happen when he reached the city.

Confrontation. Merlin _hated_ it - especially with Arthur. He always hated it when they fought.

And it was also because Merlin didn’t want to face the fact that the king _knew._ He _knew_ that Merlin had lied to him for eight long years, that he was a _sorcerer_ , basically a monster according to the laws of Camelot. 

_“Concentrate_ ”, Avatar Rakan told him. Shaking off the spiderwebs from his head, Merlin set his sights back on the Rope. 

_Climb. Climb until you get out of your body._

Avatar Rakan had warned him that it sometimes took years from people to learn how to astral project. Merlin preferred not to think about it. 

He sighed, fighting back the darkening corners of the abyss behind his eyelids. Up the Rope he went. 

All those meditation sessions with Avatar Hala sure helped drown out the voices from around him - including but not limited to crying, wailing, snoring, and silent praying. 

_Breathe. In and out._

_Climb the Rope._

* * *

“Arthur”, Gwen’s voice was quiet. “Are you sure?”

“Yes”, the king replied. “If I’ve ever been sure of anything in my life, it’s of this. If I don’t do this, I wouldn’t be staying true to myself. I wouldn’t just be letting down myself, I’d be letting down _Merlin_ \- and the world he believed I would build one day.”   
Gwen’s brown eyes glistened as she watched his face, and the king couldn’t help but to feel a warm, easing feeling inside his heart as he looked at her.

_Gods, I love her._

“Arthur, I miss Merlin too”, Gwen whispered. “But please don’t do anything stupid. He wouldn’t have wanted that.”

_How would you - or me - know what Merlin wanted? All he did was lie to us. All he did was hide his true colours._

Arthur let out a shuddering breath, brushing his wife's cheek half-heartedly with the back of his hand. “Gwen, sometimes I feel like I’m about to explode from the wave of emotions that I carry inside me every time I think about… what happened. What I saw that day, in Camlann… something died inside me that day. I can’t quite place what.”

“Merlin”, Gwen's voice almost broke. “Merlin died, Arthur. And it’s time we come to terms with what that meant.”

Arthur swallowed, refusing to look her in the eye. He played with the frayed fabric of the royal bed, sunken into his thought.

“Arthur, I’m proud of you”, said Gwen quietly. “And he’d be too. You know that, right?”

“We didn’t know him, Gwen”, the king said sharply, bitter anger flaring inside him and making his heart beat faster. “We can’t know what he would have felt. We don’t know what he would have done. Because we didn’t _know_ him.”

He swallowed back the burning tears. All those shared laughs, shared dangers, shared… everything.

The king couldn't help being angry. Angry at himself for not seeing it, angry Merlin for… a lot of things, angry at Lancelot and Gaius for keeping his secret, angry at Morgana for stealing away his friend.

When Arthur closed his eyes he could imagine everything going back just the way it was. Merlin as his bickering self, keeping the king on his toes and annoying him to death, all the while taking care of him.

Arthur missed it _so bad_ he thought he might die. 

Gwen didn’t cover her tears. “I refuse to believe that”, she in a barely audible whisper. “I knew Merlin. He was my _friend_. He just didn’t want to put you - or any of us - in the position where we’d have to question our loyalty because of him. That’s what I believe.”

* * *

Merlin opened his eyes suddenly. 

_Damn it all,_ he wanted to yell. _I fell asleep, didn’t I?_

The Rope was gone. Frustrated, he sat up on his uncomfortable bed, trying not to budge his large friend snoring in an exhaustion-induced slumber. 

One thing he realized while sitting in the dark was that he was, in fact, looking down at his own body lying down next to Eirinn. He looked so much smaller and more frail than ever, possibly due to the ridiculous comparison of the gigantic man lying next to him.

_Wait-_

He’d done it. Right? 

“ _Avatar Rakan?”_ he whispered hesitantly. Looking down at his arms, Merlin did notice he was sort of transparent. Not quite there.

“ _Well done, Emrys”,_ a voice inside his head whispered - faint, but it was definitely there.

“ _What do I do now?”_

“ _You can walk out of here_ ”, came the reply. “ _But, unfortunately too much time outside your body could have dire consequences.”_

Merlin slowly stood up, eyeing at the sleeping figures around him. He let out a breath of surprise as his hand slipped through the makeshift walls around the men’s sleeping barracks. His heart ached as he watched the shivering people, their thin clothes soaked through with the humidity emanating from the earth. 

_I’ll get you out of here. All of you,_ he made a silent promise to them. 

Marching through the cave, he almost froze as he saw the first guard. They walked straight past him, without a single glance.

_“They can’t see you”,_ Rakan said simply. 

“ _What can I do inside the Astral Plane?”_ Merlin pondered as he slowly walked past the armed men guarding his exit.

“ _Being a sorcerer of your caliber, you might be able to communicate with people through their dreams”,_ Avatar Rakan said slowly. “ _But you can’t do magic, or bend. Not while outside your body. Right now you’re purely a physical manifestation of your soul.”_

 _“Right”,_ Merlin replied slowly. He was too tired to ponder on what that meant. 

He now had the tool to escape this place - he just had to figure out how to use it.

* * *

Two weeks had passed since Arthur had made the decision to fight queen Valentina. He’d ridden to Essetir, met with king Lot, and after tedious negotiations they’d made some progress together. 

One thing that the two kings shared was a strong sense of justice. Lot despised sorcerers to the same extent as Uther, but he wasn’t entertained by the ideas of arresting and torturing innocent people.

Lot had promised that Camelot would have their aid, if it came down to a war. Arthur could only pray that the other ambassadors had been as lucky. 

As it turned out, they had - Camelot had done a lot of good for a lot of people, and all the kingdoms they’d contacted were somehow in debt with Arthur. 

Being a king did have its perks sometimes. 

Perhaps he would indeed make it through this. Perhaps this was his chance of repaying to Merlin - maybe in this way, he’d get peace of mind. 

Something told him that him finally being able to have a good night’s sleep was a long time away. Every night ever since the battle of Camlann Arthur had dreamt of the same thing - the moment when Merlin got stabbed, and Arthur's sword slid through his gut. It was Morgana who'd done that, but in the king's dream… it was always him holding the sword. It was Arthur stabbing the blade through his old friend's stomach, and watching as light faded away from Merlin's bright-blue eyes. 

There was one more kingdom to visit - Kent. Arthur had been there only once, many years ago, when his father visited the king. As far as he knew it, Kent had a peaceful and sensible king. 

If Arthur could convince them to join the attack against Mercia, they'd have the numbers for an all-out assault. 

Arthur's knights trailed him in silence as they rode through king Lot's lands. Everyone was in their own thoughts.

During these past few weeks Arthur jad come to realize that Merlin had meant a lot more to the knights than he ever knew. 

He'd been their friend too. Gwaine and Lancelot seemed to have taken it harder than the others, and it showed in the way they walked, trained, spoke… everything. Arthur himself was probably no different. It was as if Merlin had left a gaping hole into their lives that just refused to close. 

And it did make Arthur wonder - how long before they’d be alright again? Or would they ever be? 

“So who’s this king of Kent we’re going to meet?” asked Gwaine finally, breaking the hours-long silence.

“His name is Theon the Great”, Arthur replied gloomily.

“‘Theon the _Great_ ’?” repeated the knight, pursing his lips. “Well that’s a bit pompous if you ask me.”

Arthur sighed, thinking that nobody did, in fact, as Gwaine - but decided not to say it out loud. 

“He’s a king who so far hasn’t really taken part in political quarrels”, the king told him. “But he’s a great warrior, and during the original Purge he slayed one of the ancient dragons.”

“I thought we were trying to get people who are against the second Purge”, Lancelot said slowly.

“Queen Valentina is mad”, Arthur replied with a low tone. “She’s not slaying dragons, she’s slaying innocent people.”

“Fair enough.”

* * *

Merlin sauntered through Mercian land feeling more light in his feet than ever. He was almost floating, his speed reaching heights that he’d never be able to have on his own two feet. 

Being a spectral being truly had its perks.

Merlin stopped more than once to look behind him, sure that there was someone following him, watching him from the bushes. There were strange creatures in this dimension, and he had to be wary.

_I have to find Arthur._

Merlin knew that even though his magic was contained within the runework cuffs, he was still able to project some of his abilities inside the spectral form he was in. 

He’d have to get to the Crystal cave - he had to, in order to contact Arthur. Inside there, he’d see everything he needed to see.

Merlin swept through the trees, faster than any horse - at the pace of a dragon, really.

This wasn’t so bad, the warlock thought. Sure beat the damp and cold cave, where sounds of despair, pain and tears never left his ears. 

He reached the Crystal cave within an hour. Merlin had quickly realized he didn’t get out of breath in the Astral Plane, and navigating seemed to come easier to him. 

The crystals responded to his presence by lighting up ever so slightly, resonating with him with familiarity. Merlin felt warm inside as he laid his palm against the cool surface of the crystals, resting his forehead against them for just a minute.

“ _Arthur, where are you?”_ he asked inside his brain, the potent magic inside the blue-hued crystals humming audibly in response. As Merlin sought to find the king, his head was suddenly filled with visions. 

He saw Freya’s face as her eyes slowly slid closed, and the scene of her floating down the Lake of Avalon filled his head. 

“ _No, not Freya. Arthur_ ”, he shook his head. Another set of visions flooded his head. 

_What is this?_ He thought, as a vision took over all his senses. Suddenly Merlin was no longer in the calming presence of the crystals, he was standing under a dark sky dotted with faraway stars, in front of an enormous castle - it’s sharp tower peaks reached all the way into the dark clouds, and Merlin shuddered as the cold wind blew snow into his neck. Blue fire lit the walkway up to the main entrance, creating ominously dancing shadows on the ground.

Then he felt the terrible, dark presence emanating from the cold, stone citadel - it was whispering in his ear, grasping at his very _soul_ , and he stumbled backwards in horror, his palms hitting the merciless ice beneath. In his gut he felt that he was being _watched_.

The scenery changed, and suddenly Merlin was in front of a small iceberg in the middle of a freezing field of snow- he slowly stood up, taking in the view. There were frozen stairs leading uphill, ending at an ice-carved throne. Merlin slowly put his hand on the handrest, feeling the ice beneath. 

There was something terribly wrong here. This place was filled with something _dark_ , and the devouring sense of death was everywhere - it was radiating from the ice itself, hanging in the clouds, howling with the wind.

But beneath it all Merlin felt immense, bottomless _sorrow._

_What the hell is this place?_

Almost like reacting to his internal question, the scene was yanked away from him - he landed in front of a very different landscape.

The scent of smoke and fire filled his nose, and invaded his lungs. Merlin turned around slowly, his feet licking the waters of the sea he stood in front of. Dread filled his heart as he witnessed the horrible view - in front of him, on an island, a colossal, ancient tree was on fire. It was probably big enough to have the entire city of Camelot inside it, and the wind carried screams on its back. 

Shivers ran down Merlin’s spine as he realized there truly were people inside there. 

_What is happening?_

As he turned to look around, taking in the horrible amount of bodies littering the grass under his feet. 

It was a battlefield. 

And by the shore not too far from Merlin, stood a lonely figure - she was tall, and with her armor she wore a hood, shrouding her face from his view. Long, white strands of hair landed on her shoulders. 

As Merlin approached, she turned her head towards him ever so slightly.

“ _Hello_?” he asked hesitantly. The figure didn’t seem to hear him.

Her face was stunningly beautiful, but it was shadowed by the tear marks under her eyes. Merlin thought it must have been some sort of warpaint.

Her eyes were bright, glowing a cruel shade of red, and held in such hatred Merlin flinched from it's depth and fell on his backside in the wet sand. 

The warlock was flung back to the Crystal cave. Taking in a deep breath, he stared at the resonating crystals helplessly.

“ _What in the name of all the gods was that?”_ he asked persistently, as if the crystals could talk. 

He sighed shakily, placing his palm against them one more time. He didn't have time for this.

“ _Arthur. I need to find Arthur.”_

Even though Merlin’s strange experience haunted him at the back of his mind, he was glad to see that this time he was clearly going to the right direction.

He sense Arthur’s presence somewhere near, and followed the feeling. The crystal’s powers granted him the power of farsight - Merlin scoured the land, finding Camelot. 

His home was as beautiful as ever, and Merlin felt something wet his cheeks as he found Gaius. The old physician had fallen asleep on his table while working with some potion. 

Merlin’s heart ached as he watched the man’s chest rise and fall, exhaustion and sorrow having made the lines on his face all the more deeper.

“ _I’m so sorry, Gaius_ ”, he whispered, leaning closer and landing a hand on the man’s shoulder. “ _I wish I could come home. Please don’t be sad anymore.”_

What Merlin couldn’t feel was Gwen. Nor Arthur. Nor the knights.

They weren’t here. The warlock frowned, leaving the city behind and scouring the forests. 

Arthur’s tracks were almost like a _scent_ to him - except it wasn’t to be followed through any senses known to normal men. 

Merlin followed the energy inside Arthur, the same chi that flowed through his own veins - Arthur wasn’t fit to be a sorcerer, but according to Avatar Hala, everyone’s spirit was ultimately made of the same magic. Sorcerers just had the gift to extend it to the physical world. 

So the warlock tapped into Arthur’s spiritual energy, following the trail it left behind, and found his tracks leading to _Kent_ of all places. 

Frowning, he looked further, unable to figure out why on earth Arthur would be in that kingdom. 

Merlin’s heart seemed to miss at least three beats as his sights finally landed on him. Arthur was riding his mare while followed by his loyal knights.

They all looked well. Tired, unsmiling, but in good health, and seemingly determined - and they weren’t on their way to Kent, they were _returning_ from there.

Merlin watched Arthur, his stiff posture and shadowed face, and he couldn't help but to feel uneasy. 

Was Arthur sad? Feeling betrayed? Both? What would he say if he could see me now? Would he help me or leave me here to rot?

Another thing he quickly realized was that the sun was rising - and that wasn’t good news to him. He’d need to be back to his own body within an hour.

An ominous feeling suddenly filled Merlin’s heart - something was wrong. His mind was telling danger. He never realized these crystals had the power to tap his miserable third eye into future events, but he was grateful for it nevertheless.

Merlin’s farsight took him to the heart of Kent, and as he looked closer into the trees dotting the kingdom, he was met with an entire battlefront of saddled soldiers. 

They were wearing Kent’s colours, and Merlin watched as they threateningly got closer and closer towards Arthur and the knights.

_What are they doing?_

Swallowing, Merlin retreated further back from the kingdom. He could sense the aggressive intent of the soldiers of Kent, and his heart filled with dread as he thought back to Arthur and the knights, unaware of the fact they were being chased.

Horrified, Merlin returned to Arthur. 

“ _You’re being chased! Run!”_ he screamed into the king’s ear, but to his surprise nothing happened.

_Seriously?_

 _“Arthur!”_ he tried again. The king didn’t even flinch.

_He can’t hear me,_ Merlin realized in terror.

He had to figure something out, _now._

* * *

Arthur was sunken deep into his thoughts. The court of Kent had been acting extremely strangely for the entire duration of their visit. It was as if they weren’t sure what to do with them, as if they never had guests.

Kent was a rather remote kingdom, but surely they’d had visitors. The king himself had also been squeamish, hesitantly refusing to take part in other kingdoms’ quarrels. 

Arthur had tried to change his mind, but to no avail. 

Kent had been a waste of time after all. 

Suddenly Percival’s head popped up, and he asked: “Wait. Do you hear that?”

Arthur halted his horse, stopping to listen. 

He heard it too - horsemen. 

To his horror, the king realized they were in the bottom of a small gorge, a perfect spot for an ambush for anyone who came from the upper level. 

He rushed his horse to a gallop.

“Not so fast, Arthur Pendragon”, a comely voice called out to him. He turned to look at the woman in a pretty, dark blue robe watching him from above, from the back of a pure-white mare. 

She was king Theon’s advisor, and they’d met yesterday morning when they’d arrived in Kent. Arthur’s mouth opened in surprise, as mounted men walked forwards from the top of the gorge, showing their ranks and watching them from above.

“What do you want?” yelled Gwaine. 

“We got orders from queen Valentina”, lady Sorcia, the advisor, replied. “We weren’t quite sure how to proceed with your unexpected visit, but due to the nature of your intent, she has kindly asked us to send you to your graves.”

“You’re working with the mercians?” Arthur breathed, baffled. “Why?”

“Why?” Sorcia’s eyes flashed angrily. “Because _magic_ will ruin this lands unless we do something about it!”

She gave the order of attack.

“Wait!” Arthur tried to yell, but the soldiers under her command charged them with full power. The king swore loudly as he was flung from his horse. Grabbing the hilt of Excalibur, he slashed through the first grunt who tried to rush him. Unfortunately for Arthur, three more replaced him. 

Rivers of enemy soldiers had completely managed to surround them, and despite the fact that these knights were the bravest and most skilled soldiers in all of Camelot, there was no way they could rival the sheer enemy numbers.

_But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try._

Arthur grit his teeth and kicked one of his enemies in the chest, making him fall down flat on his back. The king ducked away from a sword swing, and slashed the man’s artery. The second soldier fell with Arthur’s sword in his gut, having gone straight through his chainmail. 

Elyan screamed as he got an arrow to the shoulder, and dread filled Arthur’s heart. 

They were fighting a losing battle. 

Arthur wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve the miracle that then followed, but like a saving grace, an essetirian warcry cut the air only about a minute into the fight. 

Turning his head to the left, he saw the best possible view in the whole world - king Lot was charging against them on his horse, with a dozen soldiers in his trail. 

Arthur let out a laugh as the king of Essetir grabbed his sword and struck through the first enemy. 

“Lot, your majesty, I could kiss you”, Gwaine screamed. 

Arthur and his knights regained their stance, and with the unexpected help they’d gotten, the enemies fell in front of them. 

Looking up to the top of the gorge, Arthur could no longer see lady Sorcia. 

_She went to give the bad news to king Theon and queen Valentina,_ Arthur realized. 

With the help of king Lot and his soldiers, the battle was over rather quickly. 

Arthur sheathed his sword and leaned on his knees to catch his breath. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen such blessed timing from anyone”, he stated. “We owe you our lives.”

King Lot nodded, brushing back his long, dark hair. “That you do. Count yourselves lucky, we wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for that ghost.”

Arthur’s brows jumped up. “Ghost?”

“Yes, a ghost of a sorcerer showed up to me in the middle of a hunt, warning us of the peril you would face”, king Lot stated, wiping the blood from his sword. “His eyes were that of a sorcerer’s, and he was wearing those cuffs with runes on them, like you and sir Leon described.”

Arthur and Leon glanced at each other. 

“Well, it would make sense that sorcerers are in our side”, the king of Camelot stated finally. “We are trying to stop the Purge, after all.”

“Ghosts are usually bound to the world by unfinished business”, Percival stated. “I’m sure if we manage to put an end to queen Valentina’s actions, he’ll be at rest.”

Arthur nodded, mounting his horse again. “The ghost, whatever his name is, has our thanks.”

King Lot seemed thoughtful as they began their ride towards the safety of Essetir. “Oh right, said his name was Merlin.”

* * *

Merlin returned to his body in a state of pure exhaustion, both physically and mentally. His mind hadn’t been asleep all night, and the little food the guards gave them was mostly just thin soup and worm-eaten bread. 

And the little performance he’d managed to put in for Lot and his knights had all but drained every last bit of his strength.

Merlin could only pray that king Lot hadn’t been too late. He’d walked his astral form all the way from the crystal cave to the forests of Essetir after scrying for Lot’s location. Then he’d used every bit of power he found inside himself to bring even a shred of himself to the physical world, and the warlock felt like a small part of him had actually burnt out. 

As Merlin had come to, his nose had been bleeding. Apparently his actions in the astral plane had consequences to his real body, when it came to magic. Despite that, the fact that he’d been able to perform even a small action of magic gave him hope.

Merlin had discovered the hole in the designs of these cuffs. They weren’t impenetrable. 

As the warlock slowly raised from his bed to his wobbly feet, he almost fell. The thought of having to do bodily labour while he could barely walk sounded awful to him, but it sounded a lot better than being taken to the Tunnels. 

The Tunnels, behind the cave, held a series of additional cells. They were meant for people who were unfit to work, and horrible screams could be heard from there every night. 

Queen Valentina’s physicians were doing some sort of experiments in there, he heard. 

Minutes later, when Shorty came to wake them up, Merlin pushed through the complete lack of energy and fought back the will to pass out.

_I can’t afford to give in. Not now._

_I've got to keep going.  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ten points and a cool sticker to whomever recognizes the scenes from Merlin's farsight experience :)


	6. I'll show you abomination

* * *

Arthur’s heart was beating faster than it would after a two-mile run. His sweat had turned cold and his head suddenly felt extremely heavy. The king’s vision swam.

_ Said his name was Merlin. _

__ “Merlin? You’re sure he said it was Merlin?” Lancelot’s raised voice asked, his dark eyes feverishly peering at the king of Essetir.

Lot frowned. “Uh… yes. I’m sure. Do you know of him?”

Arthur felt the eyes of all the knights on his back, swallowing heavily. 

_ Merlin’s a ghost - what does that mean? _

__ “Yes, he was a friend of ours”, Leon explained. “He died very recently.”

“Are you  _ certain? _ ” Gwaine pitched in. “Black hair, blue eyes, wore a stupid neckerchief?”

“Didn’t see a neckerchief”, Lot told him. “He had cuffs on him, as I said. He was chained, like the sorcerers at the encampment you visited.”

“Wait”, Arthur whispered, pieces slowly sliding into place. “That means… Merlin survived the battle.”

Silence fell between them for a moment as the knights realized he was right. 

“The manacles on him mean that he was captured sometime after the battle. He survived, and never made it back to Camelot”, Arthur spoke his thoughts out loud, barely audibly. “Oh, gods, he was still alive… just a moment ago, probably. He was still alive.”

“He might have been captured, but died to his wounds inside one of the camps”, Elyan said quietly. “It doesn’t change the outcome, Arthur. He’s dead.”

“Yeah”, he breathed. “But if there’s a ghost of Merlin out there, I need to find it.”

“I can take you to where we met him”, king Lot suggested awkwardly, having been quietly observing their exchange.

“We’d appreciate that”, Arthur replied, trying to fight back the sudden wave of nausea that washed over him.

* * *

Merlin let out a weak cough. He could feel his body growing weaker and weaker with every passing day. Smell of filth and sickness floated in the air, as bodies were being taken away from the mines.

People were dying every day. It wasn’t just the cold - it was the dampness inside the cave, that soaked their thin clothes and made the cold seep into the very bones. Merlin had given his own, hole-filled blanket away to an elderly lady two nights ago.

Today, he watched as they took her body away. 

The filthy conditions made it easy for illness to spread, and about half of the occupants in the establishment were already suffering of what the guards had named ‘the white plague’, due to the paleness of the infected.

Merlin had experienced the first symptoms about a week ago. Eirinn had been close behind. Now they could barely get rest from the constant, ripping itch inside their lungs and scraping their throats raw. 

Merlin lay awake at night listening to the ragged breathing of his fellow prisoners, shivering with fever, and wondered how long it would take until he died as well.

There was no way out. 

“ _ Perhaps not _ ”, Merlin flinched as the he heard the voice inside his head.

“ _ Avatar Hala _ ”, he thought, and he would have smiled if he had the power. 

“ _ Merlin, you may never leave the cave”,  _ Hala said softly. “ _ But you did something no one thought was possible - you interacted with the living world while inside your astral form.” _

_ “So what?”  _

__ Avatar Hala’s presence warmed his shivering form, and Merlin felt his sore muscles relax. At least they didn’t make him work anymore, afraid that he’d infect the guards or, gods forbid, the overseer himself.

“ _ You can stop this”,  _ Hala whispered. “ _ If you astral project yourself to the heart of Mercia, where the queen sits on her throne - and use all your astral energy to kill her, you might end this.” _

__ Merlin couldn’t believe the old Avatar was even suggesting this. “ _ I got exhausted from just showing myself. The burst of energy such as that would kill me.” _

_ “That’s a possibility”,  _ Avatar Hala replied. “ _ You do have the alternative of dying here, inside this hellhole, or you can make your death mean something. Kill the tyrant.” _

_ “There’s no guarantee that her death will stop the Purge”, _ Merlin tried weakly.

“ _ She’s leading it”,  _ Hala said sternly. “ _ You know Arthur is working to stop this. They can’t get close to her without a full invasion, and they probably don’t have the manpower for such an effort. Your sacrifice could be the catalyst needed to end this madness.” _

__ Merlin stared into the darkness, listened to the never-ending coughing and crying. All these dying sorcerers, drawing their final breaths…

“ _ I had hoped to have more time as the Avatar”,  _ Merlin sighed. “ _ But I’ll do it. For them. Even if it’s the last thing I do.” _

* * *

“Merlin?” Arthur whispered to the night sky, standing by the edge of the woods, walking by the green meadow. “Are you here?”

He bit his bottom lip hesitantly. “I would like to talk to you, if that’s possible. I don’t know if you can hear me, but…”

Arthur swallowed, sorting the words inside his mind. The king glanced quickly over his shoulder, checking that there was no one listening. 

“Look, I’d just like to see you. To hear your voice. Even if it’s for just this one last time”, he breathed, swallowing down the lump in his throat. “Please. Let me just pretend that nothing’s different and that we’re still just a cabbage-headed prince and a servant with a big mouth.”

He wiped away the lonely tear trailing down his cheek, lowering his eyes to the ground.

“You’re not here, though, are you?” he spoke, now just mainly to himself. “I rule over a kingdom where magic is outlawed, and you’re a sorcerer. You’re gone. For good.”

Two days later Arthur was sitting by the Round Table next to Gwen, with every single important person found from Camelot’s allied kingdoms - including queen Annis and sir Bernard, one of her most trusted knights, king Lot, king Rodor and princess Mithian, lord Godwyn and princess Elena. 

“We must put an end to this madness”, he began, standing up and looking at each person present. “And I need your help to make that happen.”

“What is our plan of action?” asked queen Annis, leaning forwards slightly. 

“I say we raid the encampments first”, said lord Godwyn. 

“That could prove costly to us”, reminded Arthur. “Since those places are heavily guarded, and they have orders to defend them with their lives. I suggest”, he moved his finger to the opened map of Mercia, stopping on top of the capital.

“We go straight to Valentina”, he said coldly. “We take our troops and strike at the heart. If the head of this entire operation is gone, the rest will follow quickly. We might be able to take over the encampments without any bloodshed.”

“Mercia is an age-old city protected by walls built for withstanding sieges the length of years”, reminded lord Godwyn. “If we surround the city, and word gets out to Mercia’s allies… they’ll strike us from the back.”

Arthur had thought of this. “It won’t come to that. Here’s how we do this”, he began explaining, Gwen squeezing her hand slightly. “We send in a small group of men in disguise. Once our armies move in and they close the gates, our men on the inside will assassinate the guards and reopen the gates for us.”

Queen Annis and king Lot glanced at each other. 

“It could work”, the king of Essetir shrugged. “It is extremely risky, though - if those men get caught, our entire plan will fall to ruins.”

“So they must be picked carefully”, Gwen stated. “People who are resourceful, quick on their feet, and know how to keep their heads down. They need to be able to blend in.”

“Mercia must be on high alert”, princess Mithian said slowly. “What if they aren’t allowing visitors?”

Queen Annis frowned. “There is, of course, one other possibility. We could send in  _ women. _ ”

A shocked silence fell over the council. 

“Women, your majesty?” asked sir Bernard nervously. 

“Yes”, Annis sighed impatiently. “I know what you’re thinking, but hear me out. I’m sure there are women in our kingdoms who are skilled with a sword. No one would ever suspect it.”

“I don’t know about this”, lord Godwyn muttered.

“Me neither”, Lot agreed. “I think it’s way too dangerous of a mission.”

“I, for one, think it’s exactly what we’d need to make this plan work”, Arthur said, making the rest of them stare at her in disbelief.

Queen Annis flashed her a proud smile. 

“I know for a fact that there are great swordswomen in our kingdoms”, he flashed a quick smile to Gwen, who returned it. “And since queen Valentina obviously knows about our alliance, she must be on high alert. It’s brilliant.”

“I agree”, Gwen said. “If we decide to move in with it, I would personally attend this mission.”

Arthur opened his mouth in protest, but the queen of Camelot silenced it with a stern glare. The man knew better than to argue. 

He could plead her not to go, of course, but if Gwen decided to do something, nothing would stop her. 

“I suppose it could work”, lord Godwyn finally sighed. 

* * *

Merlin woke up with a punch to his ribcage. He flinched, but was too tired to bring up his hand to rub the sore skin. 

“Wake up, maggot”, someone growled at him. “Witchfinder Jonah has some... questions for you.”

Frowning, the imprisoned sorcerer raised his head. 

Merlin winced as the man grabbed his arm and began pulling him along. His feet dragged the ground, and a hellish headache took over him, making the floor sway under him. 

“Where are we going?” he coughed hoarsely. 

“You speak when spoken to”, the guard barked back. “You better not get me infected with the plague, or I’ll  _ skin  _ you myself. Scum.”

Merlin didn’t bother to reply, and let the guard manhandle him to the tunnels. Instead of continuing to the overseer’s chambers, they turned right and went deeper underground. 

For some reason the warlock got a horrible feeling in his gut that he wouldn’t be returning back up anymore.

He didn’t have the energy to fight back as the guard laid him down on a wooden table and chained him down by the cuffs on his wrists, ankles, and neck. 

Not that Merlin could have gone anywhere, anyway. It had been days since he’d last eaten, and his fever had persisted for half a week. 

He’d die in here. For good, this time.

The guard left, and for a long time he was alone. It was soothing, there was no sound of coughing and crying, and Merlin only listened to his own ragged breathing and slow heartbeats. 

Then someone entered the room and leaned over his immobile form. 

It was a man in his sixties, watching him closely through a well-honed piece of coloured glass. 

“I’ve been watching you for a while now”, he finally said. “You have an interesting amount of magical energy. It’s nothing like I’ve ever seen before. Be a good lad and tell me what’s that all about?”

Merlin would have laughed at his face if he could have. 

“I was born with magic”, the warlock told him weakly. It’s not like it mattered, anyway. “I suppose I’m special.”

The witchfinder raised his brows. “You’re in no position to lie to me, boy”, his voice went dangerously low. “Magic is learned. Acquired. No one’s born with it - now, I’m going to ask you again - why is your aura so different?  


* * *

“This is Elaine, my daughter”, sir Bernard introduced the lady with beautiful, pale-golden curls and ice-blue eyes. She smiled sweetly at Arthur, Gwen, and the knights. 

“It’s an honour to meet you all”, she greeted them with a small bow. 

“It’s our pleasure, milady”, Gwaine assured her with a stupid grin. Gwen stepped closer to her, looking her in the eye.

“We’re going to do this together, right?” the queen said quietly, and the knight’s daughter nodded steadily.

“I won’t let you down, milady”, she assured her. 

Arthur had been assured of lady Elaine’s exceptional skills in swordplay, and he’d personally witnessed Gwen’s fighting. 

The queen was a blacksmith’s daughter, and she had steel in her veins. 

The woman candidate from Nemeth was named Lunette - she was an attractive brunette with a quick and creative mind. She was princess Mithian’s maidservant, as well as her best friend.

Arthur’s heart stung painfully as he witnessed the princess brightly announce that the servant was, no doubt, her very best friend and advisor despite her lowly status. 

_ Did I ever call Merlin my friend? _

__ Arthur wasn’t sure. 

The fourth and final member of the team was Brangwain, a cunning and reticent girl, who was the younger sister of two squires in Lot’s court. Her skills as a fighter were exceptional. 

“Is there anything I can do that will make you reconsider?” Arthur whispered, watching Gwen’s brown eyes soften. 

“No, my love”, she said gently. “I’m afraid not. I have to do this.”

Closing his eyes for a moment, Arthur swallowed.

He was afraid. 

“Guinevere, I can’t lose you too”, he whispered, pressing his face against his wife’s soft, curly locks. He felt her hand reach for the king’s cheek.

“You won’t”, she said, voice steady as she looked into his eyes. “This will work. I know you feel like you need to do everything yourself, but please, Arthur - trust me.”

Sighing in defeat, the king nodded. “I trust you.”

* * *

“Stop there, ladies”, the guard told them the minute they arrived.

“What is it?” Gwen asked, folding the cloak tighter around her shoulders.

“What is your business to Mercia at this time?” he asked suspiciously, eyeing at the three behind her. 

“I’ve been visiting relatives in Kierra”, Gwen replied, raising her chin. “I live here. Brought my friends for a visit, too.”

Elaine flashed the guard the sweetest smile she could muster, and the man seemed to melt.

“Alright, ladies, my apologies”, the guard blushed. “Can’t be too careful. Go on ahead.”

He opened the gates, and Gwen had never been more grateful for being a woman - their dresses hid their swords perfectly, and no self-respecting guard was going to peek under a lady’s gown. 

“No problem, sir”, Gwen smiled gently, gesturing for the three others to follow. 

The city of Mercia was fortified by high, stone walls and it was surrounded by a deep moat. The only way in was through this gate. 

Gwen had gotten used to the lively streets of Camelot, and compared to that, Mercian alleys and markets seemed almost desolate. There was the occasional passerby, and a few children playing outside - but other than that, they faced barely anyone on their way to the local inn.

“Hoods on, girls”, Gwen muttered, and her companions obeyed. They remained cloaked as they entered to the warmth of the inn. 

“Greetings, and welcome”, smiled the old lady wiping the floor. “How may I help you, ladies?”

“We’d like a room”, Gwen told her simply.

“Well, there’s no one staying in right now, so you may take your pick. The only one that’ll fit all of you has six beds, will you take that one?” the old woman asked as she walked to the counter and opened her ledger. 

“We’ll take it, please”, the queen replied, placing a small bag of gold coins on the counter. 

“And how long will you be staying?”

“Two nights.”

* * *

“I don’t like this”, Arthur murmured.

“Me neither”, Lancelot and Gwaine replied, perfectly synchronized. The two knights glared at each other.

“Calm down”, Elyan replied. “Gwen is a big girl. She used to beat my ass.”

“Really?” frowned Percival. 

The short man rolled his eyes. “Yes, Perce. Really. My point is, she can handle herself. Just trust her, will you?”

“It’s not that I don’t trust her”, Arthur sighed in frustration. “I just worry about her.”

“Well, I don’t”, Elyan announced. “My sister will get this done. Period.”

There was a moment of silence. 

“What about that other lady, Elaine?” Gwaine’s eyes turned pondering. “She had the eyes of a lunatic, if you ask me.”

“Her eyes were beautiful”, replied Lancelot sharply, causing his fellow knights to frown and glance at him questioningly. 

“Why, our noble sir Lancelot”, Gwaine uttered breathily. “Anything else you would like to say about lady Elaine?”

Lancelot shook his head with a smile. “You’re hopeless, Gwaine. I merely said that her eyes were beautiful, not crazy.”

“Right”, Leon narrowed his eyes. “Could this be love at first sight, perhaps?”

“I think it’s a clear sign”, Percival stated.

“I agree”, said Elyan. 

Arthur rolled his eyes. One more hour until midnight. One more hour of having to listen to these buffoons, and one more hour until the moment when their attack would begin. 

He could only pray that Gwen was alright, and that the women were successful in their mission. 

* * *

“It’s time”, the queen of Camelot whispered as she peered out the window, listening to the warning bells. 

“We’re ready”, said Lunette, tying back her auburn hair. They got dressed into their dark cloaks - hiding in the shadows would be their best chance.

Now the streets were livelier than ever - soldiers were running back and forth, confused citizens peered out the windows and cracked their doors.

“What’s going on, nan?” asked a small boy from her grandmother, who hushed him.

“Get inside, little cub”, she croaked. “It’s nothing.”

Gwen, Elaine, Lunette and Brangwain kept close to the buildings and moved in a tight group, hiding quickly whenever soldiers were running past.

As they approached the entrance to the city, they realized more and more soldiers were arriving from the citadel itself, armed with crossbows.

“The gate has already been closed”, Lunette noticed. “We need to get inside there”, she nodded towards the small space between the double-portcullis gates. 

“That’s where we’ll find the mechanism to release the gate”, Gwen nodded. “Now we just need to get in there.”

“But how?” Elaine hissed. “Is there a way inside from within the walls?”

“Yes”, said Brangwain. “Over there.”

The woman pointed towards a heavy metal door about twenty feet to the right from the gate. 

It was slightly open. 

“We’ll never get in unnoticed”, Gwen whispered. “Look at all these soldiers.”

“We need a distraction”, Lunette deduced. “I may have an idea. Brangwain, you’re with me.”

The two stood up, making sure they weren’t being watched. 

“What will you do?” asked Elaine nervously. 

“Just stick close, and watch for an opening”, Lunette replied sharply. “We’ll figure something out.”

The woman then nodded to Brangwain, and the pair disappeared into the darkness. 

A small eternity seemed to pass, and the battle was already full in action. There were bloody bodies of Mercian soldiers lying dead on the ground, arrows sticking out from their necks. 

Gwen swallowed as she heard the warning shout:

“ _ Fire _ !” 

Flames bursted from the nearby barracks, and Gwen suspected that Lunette and Brangwain had broken into Mercia’s oil stock. Since they were under attack, it was probably less guarded than usual. 

“This is our opening”, Gwen growled, surging forwards towards the door. They made it in easily, and based on the lack of angry shouting, they hadn’t been spotted.

The pair found themselves in a narrow corridor leading up to a small room. Two guards stood by the released mechanism of the gate, and one was still holding the hammer which they had used to hit the lever.

Elaine closed the door behind them.

“Alright, gentlemen”, Gwen spoke, causing the two of them to flinch in surprise. The queen of Camelot unsheathed her sword.

“Open the gate.”

* * *

“It’s opening!” Arthur heard Lot’s victorious cry. “They did it!”

Gwaine let out a small hurrah, and surged towards the slowly opening gate. There were two dozen soldiers in the way, trying to block their advance, but to no avail. 

He was among the first to make it in, and the first thing he did was find Gwen. The queen had lowered her cowl, and her sword was wet with the blood of her enemies, wildfire burning in her dark eyes, and Arthur thought he’d never seen anyone as beautiful as her.

“Guinevere”, the king breathed as their eyes locked. 

“Arthur!” she exclaimed. “We did it. Now what?”

The king swallowed, scoping for his knights. “We must find Valentina.”

“I’ll be coming with you”, king Lot announced, having arrived behind him from seemingly out of nowhere. Arthur nodded gratefully at the young king.

“I’ll get my knights. We have a queen to dethrone.”

* * *

At night, when witchfinder Jonah had finally left Merlin alone, he’d been able to close his eyes and find the Rope again. 

_Climb, climb, climb._

His body was hurting so bad he preferred not to be in it, anyway.

Merlin looked at his limp, thin body lying on the table, so miserable and bloodied. 

He didn’t even look alive anymore.

“ _ You know what to do, Emrys”,  _ Hala’s voice whispered inside his head. 

“ _ Yeah _ ”, Merlin whispered, turning his head away from the sight and left the cave. 

He smiled faintly as he looked at the night sky, dozens of stars greeting him. 

_ This isn’t so bad _ , he thought wistfully.

His spirit soared through the forest, weaved it’s way through the wooden houses of Iomhar, and kept going on the road towards the heart of the kingdom.

Mercia looked a lot like Camelot. If Merlin focused enough, he could almost imagine like he was home again, just on a herb run for Gaius. 

What he wouldn’t give to go back to that time. 

It wasn’t even that long ago. It had only been a month since the battle of Camlann - and before that, everything had still been so  _ normal. _

And now, he was alone and dying. 

“ _ You are never alone, Emrys _ ”, a voice suddenly whispered. Merlin could hear the layered voice of a hundred past lives speak to him all at once, and suddenly he felt at ease.

_ That’s right. I’m never alone. _

The closer Merlin got to the city of Mercia, the more he began to realize that there was something more afoot here than he’d thought.

Troops of footmen were stationed behind the hills close to the city, and he could recognize queen Annis as she and some of her men stood seemingly in watch around the city.

Frowning, Merlin’s spectral form slid past them. 

In shock, he assessed the vision unfolding in front of his eyes.

There were hundreds of soldiers surging into the city - wearing the colours of not only Camelot, but also Essetir, Nemeth, Gwynned and Gawant. 

_ They’re attacking Mercia?  _

_ But… why? _

__ He watched the carnage inside the city, dead soldiers paving the road. However, from what Merlin could see, Mercia’s soldiers were giving up. They were surrendering. 

_ I need to find Valentina. The only thing that will end the Purge is the end of her reign _ , the warlock decided and made his way towards the impressive citadel in the very core of the city.

There were dead guards on the hallways - they’d died with their swords in their hands. Merlin didn’t pay them too much attention.

Queen Valentina would have to be in the throne room. 

Tonight, he would bring an end to the Purge. 

* * *

“It’s over, Valentina”, Arthur told her as him, Lot, and his knights stepped into the room. He glanced behind him with a frown as Valentina’s guards went to close the door behind them, sealing the entrance to the throne room tightly.

“You won’t leave here alive, Pendragon”, the queen hissed. Her beauty was shadowed by the clearly crazed, ill look in her storm-grey eyes.

“There’s no escape for you”, she proclaimed. 

The queen’s word was law, and the ten bodyguards surrounding her unsheathed their swords in the defence of their queen. 

These were the best knights in Mercia, and they were veterans. This wouldn’t be an easy fight.

Arthur grabbed the hilt of Excalibur tighter, glaring at the woman standing in front of her throne. 

“You don’t get to wear that crown, Valentina”, he stated angrily. “You lost that right the minute you turned against your own people.”

“ _ I  _ turned against  _ my  _ people?” she screamed. “I’m doing you a favour! Your father was the one who commenced the first Purge. As his son, you should have been my greatest supporter!”

“I’m not my father”, Arthur whispered, raising his sword.

“Kill them!”

Right when her knights began advancing, the sealed door to the throne room took a mind-numbingly loud hit. It made them all turn around in confusion.

The heavy, locked door bent under the force of whatever was trying to break in. Arthur watched in awe as the previously invisible runes carved on the door began glowing a blue light.

“What’s happening?” Arthur heard Valentina’s voice waver for the first time. 

There was real fear in her voice. 

Someone on the other side was trying to break in. The light from the blue runes began to flicker, and small trails of smoke erupted from them.

The door buckled again, letting out a creaky whine. The ancient wood was almost  _ bending. _

__ Arthur’s heart was drumming. His knights had formed a protective circle around him and Lot.

The double door finally broke under the pressure, and the old wood broke with a loud crash. From the midst of the smoke, Arthur saw a faintly blue-hued figure, eyes glowing a golden light, his hand outstretched.

Arthur heard his own heartbeat inside his head, his own ragged breathing. 

_ It can’t be. _

_ It is- _

__ Merlin’s pale, gaunt form stood in front of them, clearly visible yet ever so slightly transparent.

His eyes were glowing a bright golden in the dim room, and they landed on the king.

His mouth cracked open in shock.

Arthur swore that time was running slower than it should, because their eyes stayed interlocked for what seemed like an eternity. 

“Merlin”, Lancelot whispered finally. 

“ _ Hi _ ”, the man swallowed weakly, tears glistening in his golden eyes, and Arthur could have cried at the sound of his voice.

The king thought he’d never hear that voice again.

“It’s one of  _ them _ !” Valentina’s voice was outraged. Her knights were charging forwards. 

“Kill the _monster_ first!”

The tranquil, silent moment between Merlin and Arthur was over. Now the king witnessed as the invisible aura emanating from his friend turned hostile. Merlin’s whole body was radiating power - it almost felt like a constant, strong stormwind against his face.

The spectral man walked past them and rapidly extended his arms to the side. His magic, answering to his command, threw each of Valentina’s knights to the wall with enough force to knock them out against the hard stone walls.

“No, no, no”, Valentina had fallen to her knees. 

She looked more like a beggar than a queen at that point, despite the crooked crown on her head.

“Don’t let him kill me, can’t you see?” she screamed. “Can’t you see that he’s an  _ abomination, _ a  _ disease _ that needs to be snuffed out from this land?”

Merlin turned his head towards her. 

“ _ Abomination _ ?” Arthur’s former servant’s ominous voice was barely audible. A powerful shiver ran down his spine as Merlin’s golden eyes began shining brighter and brighter, until the white light was almost too difficult to look at.

Merlin’s voice, the one that Arthur had missed for so long, had transformed into one that echoed unnaturally, and seemed to carry a thousand, synchronized voices speaking all at once.

“ _ I’ll show you abomination.” _

__ Within the blink of an eye, Merlin was right in front of the queen, leaning over her. For one very long second Arthur thought that the sorcerer was going to snap her neck, or suck the soul right out of her body, but instead the man grabbed her crown.

“ _ Valentina of Mercia _ ”, Merlin’s unnatural voice spoke. “ _ Your actions have devastated the balance of this world. You are not fit to wear this crown.” _

__ With a swift move of his hand, the crown flew to the corner with a loud clang. 

The tear tracks on Valentina’s messy face reflected the light from Merlin’s eyes. 

“ _ It’s over”,  _ the not-Merlin’s-voice uttered. Swallowing, Arthur watched as Merlin slammed his foot to the ground and quickly spread his arms to the side - in response to him, the wall behind the queen’s throne tore open with a whine. 

The cold night air blew in, and Valentina peered down. Her soldiers had been defeated, bodies littered the streets.

However, the dethroned queen seemed almost calm as she got back on her feet.

“I did what was right”, she muttered incoherently, mainly to herself. She slowly walked up to the ledge and watched her city.

After five, long seconds, her body slowly tilted forwards, and she stepped out. Arthur instinctively reached forwards, but he was way too far away to actually do anything about it.

They heard the sound of her body hitting the pavement. 

Merlin’s apparition slowly turned to look at them. A thousand emotions swam in his face, despite the fact that his eyes were still shining like a pair of stars.

“ _ I’m sorry _ ”, his voice sounded normal again and Arthur saw a tear fall down his cheek. 

“Wait, please” _ ,  _ Gwaine swallowed. “Can you tell us how to find your body? We need to have a proper funeral. Maybe then... you could rest.”

Merlin’s eyes dimmed down to gold. He looked so tired, so  _ dead _ , it ripped Arthur apart from the inside.

The king wanted to say something, but he was quite certain that no voice would come out of his mouth even if he tried. 

“ _ I’m not dead yet _ ”, he said slowly. “ _ I’m not a ghost, I’m merely projecting my soul to the physical world. You’ll find me in the Tellen mines, with the rest of the prisoners.” _

__ Merlin’s brightly glowing form began to dim rapidly, and Arthur almost burst out in tears as it reduced down to nothing.

“He’s  _ alive _ ”, Arthur’s voice broke, and his knees suddenly felt like they were going to buckle. A short, hysterical laugh broke out through his lips. “We were right  _ there _ , Leon. We were in the mines at the same time as him. He was there this whole time.”

* * *

As the army of Camelot advanced through the land of Mercia in the dead of the night, Arthur had to hold himself back to not surge along the road on his steed.

In their destination awaited  _ Merlin. _

__ For so long Arthur had thought that his friend was dead and gone - to the point where he’d began to slowly accept his death and what it meant to him.

But what now?

The king came to the conclusion that it was better to wait it out, to get out of this situation first. After Merlin and the others were rescued, he could start worrying about the state of their friendship. 

As far as Arthur knew, no one else but him and the knights had even recognized Merlin during the battle of Camlann. 

He could come back home. He could be there when Arthur legalized magic. 

Swallowing, the king felt his heart’s pace quicken. The valley of Tellen was straight ahead, and on the other side - t he mines.

In the wake of dawn, the prisoners of Tellen saw light of day for the first time in weeks. The guards and the witchfinders surrendered, aside from a few special cases.

Arthur was especially glad about the overseer’s resistance. He felt intense satisfaction upon running Excalibur through the man’s stomach.

“Have you found Merlin yet?” the king asked as Lancelot and Leon showed up to the chambers. 

“Not yet”, the knights admitted begrudgingly.

“Wait”, a weak voice suddenly called out. “You’re looking for Merlin?”

A tall man being helped by a Camelot soldier had stopped. His form was muscular, but the loss of weight had turned him into a shadow of what he probably used to be.

“He was taken to the Tunnels”, the man swallowed. “I know him. He’s a friend.”

“Where?” Arthur’s own, feverishly determined voice sounded unfamiliar to his own ears. 

“Look”, the man nodded towards an opening on the right side of the tunnel leading to the overseer’s chambers. “Down there, I think.”

“Thank you!” Leon told him, but Arthur’s legs were already moving. 

Blood rushed inside his head, sounds turning strangely muddy and muffled. He descended down, further underground and peered into every cell he saw.

“Intruders!” an outraged voice called out from one of the rooms. A witchfinder showed up from a side corridor. Before he even had the time to unsheathe his sword, Excalibur pierced through his ribs. Coldly, the king ripped it out and continued to the same direction from which the man had come from.

And there, Arthur found him. It was a rather large, open room with several tables bordering the walls. In the middle, on a hard, wooden table, was Merlin.

His body was thinner than ever before, skin stretched over the prominent cheekbones. The sorcerer’s skin was as pale as snow, and his hair - it had grown to reach his eyebrows, Arthur noticed - was glued to his forehead by a thin layer of sweat.

The king removed his gloves in a frenzy, grabbing Merlin’s hand. It was burning up.

“He has the white plague”, Percival said quietly. “Just like the others.”

“Merlin, can you hear me?” Arthur’s desperate voice was rugged. “Get the keys!”

Elyan brought the keys he’d found from the witchfinder, and began unlocking the cuffs. The king realized the metal had left bloody marks in Merlin’s skin. 

_ Curse these people _ , the king thought bitterly, very much considering going up there and executing the rest of the monsters in charge this prison camp.

“Merlin, wake up, please”, the king found himself begging. “It’s Arthur.”

The servant’s dark eyelids suddenly stirred slightly. 

Arthur held his breath as Merlin’s eyes slowly slid open to narrow cracks, greeting him with their familiar blue. 

“Oh, thank the gods”, Lancelot breathed. 

“Hey”, Arthur said softly, swallowing. 

Merlin blinked slowly. “You came”, his voice was hoarse, and the king could tell it was hard for him to talk. 

“Of course we came”, Gwaine sounded emotional, placing a hand gently on the man’s shoulder. 

“Why would you?” Merlin’s voice was so quiet it was difficult to even hear. Arthur leaned closer. “You’re afraid of me.”

“Merlin, mate, no offense”, Gwaine began, “But right now you’re about as intimidating as a mouse dropping.”

The corners of Merlin’s mouth twitched slightly. 

The cuffs fell loudly to the floor as Elyan unlocked the manacles around his legs, and the sorcerer was finally free.

“Merlin”, Arthur whispered, trying to keep his voice from wavering so much. “You’re free. Can’t you heal yourself or something?”

A hacking sound that could have been laughter escaped from Merlin’s chest. With a shaky breath, the sorcerer opened his mouth again.

“I-I’m afraid I’m all out of magic right now, sire.”

Something was badly wrong with Merlin, Arthur realized. The twinkle in his eyes was gone. The pair of lifeless, blue orbs looked straight ahead. 

_ What have they done to him? _

“Come on, let’s get you outside”, Arthur said quietly, nodding to Percival, who picked the malnourished man to his arms and carried him outside, where the morning sun embraced them.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it =)   
> For the record, 'white plague' is the medieval name for tuberculosis.


	7. Bluebirds Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, but this chapter is about four times longer than usual so... I suppose it's justified.   
> Merlin and Arthur have "the Talk".   
> Basically the next five chapters will be Arthur 'watching and reacting to the show', so to speak. This chapter included everything I deemed important for him to see from season one.

“Where is he?” asked Gaius, blue eyes drilling through Arthur’s skin.

“In there”, the king nodded slowly towards the nearby tent. The physician disappeared inside in an instant.

Ever since they’d found found Merlin,  _ alive, _ it was like Arthur was frozen. Petrified. 

He didn’t know what to do.

Was he glad? Yes. Was he confused? Also yes. Was he angry? Definitely, but not towards Merlin specifically. He was angry just in general.

Gaius’ head poked out of the tent. “He’s asking for you, sire.”

A shiver ran down Arthur’s spine. 

_ What would he say to Merlin? What would Merlin say to him? _

__ Swallowing, the king walked up to the tent and entered.

Merlin was laying on a wolf-pelt cot, surrounded by the scent of herbal remedies. The warlock looked better than he had the last time, but he was still so  _ thin  _ and  _ small  _ \- and Arthur had never realized how deceiving looks could be.

This man was probably the most dangerous being he’d ever met.

“Hi”, Arthur whispered as their eyes met. 

“I’ll leave you two alone”, Gaius said quietly, disappearing out of the tent.

Merlin smiled weakly up at the king in the dim light.

“So…” he started with a ragged voice. “I’ve got magic.”

Arthur raised his brows. “No shit.”

A ghost of a smile flashed on both of their faces.

“I know what this means”, Merlin began slowly. “It means I have broken the trust we shared, and that I can never come back home. But I just want you to know that all I ever used it for was for you and Camelot’s benefit.”

Arthur looked at the dirt floor under his feet.

“I got your letter”, he said finally. “And I thought about it a lot. I know every word by heart.”

Merlin blinked, his feverish eyes reflecting the king’s own anxiety.

“I thought you died”, Arthur said, avoiding direct eye contact. “I thought you were  _ gone _ , and all I got as an explanation was a damn letter.”

He swallowed, biting his bottom lip to avoid his emotions from spilling over the edges. He took a deep, calming breath.

He needed to do this right. He had to pick the right words.

“At first I was furious”, Arthur said quietly, still looking at his hands. “You know there are five stages to grief, according to Gaius? Denial, bargaining, and so on? I just jumped straight to  _ anger. _ ”

The king could feel Merlin’s eyes heavy on him as he struggled to continue.

“I was so  _ angry _ , Merlin - I thought I’d  _ die _ with all the anger and hate in my veins”, Arthur swallowed. “I shut everybody out. Even Gwen. And I took a good, hard look at myself - and about our friendship.”

“At first I thought it had all been a lie. That you had deceived and betrayed me just like Morgana, Agravaine and Mordred. Gaius brought me the letter a few days after the battle.”

Arthur had to take another break, inhaling and exhaling a few times deeply.

He still wouldn’t look at Merlin.

“I started to think things from your perspective. I just couldn’t figure out why you would do the things you’ve done for me. I rule over a kingdom that has stood in the way of the Old Religion for years and years. Pendragons have slaughtered your kind mercilessly for decades. I still cannot, for the life of me, understand why you would use your gift for my sake.”

Merlin opened his mouth, about to say something, but Arthur lifted his hand. “Let me finish, please.” 

The king closed his eyes for a moment, gathering his thoughts. “So, even though I slowly recognized the fact that you have done these things for me and my kingdom, took none of the credit, and lived in the shadows, one feeling never left. I felt like I never knew you at all.”

“I’m still the same person”, Merlin’s voice was small, frail and full of despair as his large eyes stared at the king.

Arthur melted into a smile, glancing at the sickly man next to him.

“I know that”, he sighed. “Who knew that the clumsiest servant in Camelot is also the greatest sorcerer ever to walk the earth?”

Merlin shifted uncomfortably.

“What?” the king asked with a frown.

“I didn’t choose to have any of this, you know”, Merlin said quietly. “I didn’t choose to be born as Emrys. But I was, and I am, and I always will be. There’s nothing I can do about that. Destinies are not easily escaped.”

Arthur nodded faintly. “True. Nevertheless, I heard rumours about what the queen of Mercia had set in motion. I heard about the second Purge - it was almost ironic, almost like my new revelations and my loyalties were being tested.”

The king glanced at Merlin, who just kept on looking at him with his sad, blue eyes.

__ “I thought you were behind it at first”, the servant said quietly.

It stung Arthur’s heart, but he couldn’t really blame the warlock for thinking that.

“Actually, I thought I’d be betraying your memory if I didn’t act against it”, the king stated in response.

“Really?” Merlin smiled shyly, and Arthur nodded.

“So, me and the knights rode to Mercia, and found the mines”, the king said after clearing his throat. “Me and Leon went undercover as guards, and assessed the situation.”

Merlin’s eyes widened. 

“We were there at the same time as you”, Arthur said simply. “I was so close, and I didn’t realize it. Neither of us did.”

He continued after a short pause.

“We went on a mission to recruit our allies and neighbouring kingdoms against the cruelties that Valentina practiced”, he explained. “And it worked. Nemeth, Essetir, Gwynned, Gawant… all of them came to our aid.”

He glanced at Merlin, who slowly sat up.

“I saw you”, the warlock said. “When you were on your way back from Kent.”

Arthur nodded, a faint smile on his face. “They were allied with Mercia, but we didn’t know. They would have killed us if a certain  _ ghost _ hadn’t warned king Lot and his hunting party about our predicament.”

Merlin nodded. “It wasn’t easy, by the way”, he said. “It takes… a lot of power to channel magic through my astral body, instead of my physical one.”

“I wouldn’t know”, Arthur said simply. “In any case… Together with them, we orchestrated the assault on Mercia. We assumed they would barricade themselves inside, so we sent in a team of four swordswomen.”

Merlin raised his brows. “Gwen?”   
“Gwen”, Arthur confirmed. “As well as three others. Without them, we never would have breached the city.”

The king held a small pause. “You know what happened next.”

“Yeah”, Merlin whispered. 

They sat in silence for a while. Then the warlock finally spoke.

“Look, I’m sorry that I lied to you”, his voice was strained and quiet. “I’m sorry that I betrayed your trust. And I accept whatever punishment you want to give me.”

Arthur smiled to himself, playing with his hands for a moment before getting up and kneeling next to his servant’s weak form. 

“Merlin”, he began softly. “Do you honestly think, after everything we’ve been through, that lying to me would even make a difference?”

The servant’s blue eyes widened, and he swallowed as he waited for the king to continue.

“I forgive you”, Arthur said then, figuring it was probably what Merlin wanted to hear. 

Even though there was barely anything to forgive.

“Really?” the servant asked with a small voice.

“Of  _ course _ ”, the king replied. “Did you think I’d banish you? Execute you? Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve already begun laying the foundation for changing the laws about magic. I’m making it legal again, once the dust from Morgana’s destruction has settled.”

Merlin’s eyes welled up with water. “Really?” 

“My word is my bond”, Arthur replied with a smile. The servant let out a breathy laughter.

“Thank you”, he breathed out, closing his eyes.

“And I do hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me, too”, the king sighed. “I’ve hunted down your people for years, killed. I’ve been an enemy of magic. And I hope that I will learn to change that.”

Merlin bit his lip. “Sire, you were born as the son of Uther Pendragon”, he stated. “I don’t think you could have turned out any better, under the circumstances.”

Arthur smiled faintly at his words, shaking his head. “So, you forgive me?”

“Of course”, the warlock replied.

The king leaned back, exhaling deeply.

“But”, Arthur finally spoke, “You’re still going to have to tell me everything that happened behind my back. I need to know all of it.”

“That’s fair”, Merlin grinned. His eyes, previously so dull and dim, were now lit up with brightness and  _ life _ Arthur had never seen before.

As if his biggest dreams had just come true. Perhaps it were so.

“It’s all a bit hard to explain”, the warlock began. 

“I want to know everything”, Arthur stated. “Everything since the day you first arrived in Camelot.”

“That’s going to take a while”, Merlin said slowly.

“I’m not in a hurry.”

“You’re a king.”

Arthur shook his head in annoyance. “Not today.”

Merlin exhaled with a thoughtful look. “I can show you.”

The king frowned. “What?”

Merlin stood up, staggered on his feet for a second before gaining balance, and then straightened his back. 

“You shouldn’t be standing”, Arthur told him anxiously. 

The servant ignored him, and faced his king’s eyes.

Arthur frowned as Merlin raised his arm to his chest.

“Grab my arm”, he told the king.

“What?”

“Do it.”

Arthur shrugged, and placed his hand on the man’s bony arm. 

" **_Onýwan mîn ingemynd_ ** ", Merlin's rough voice whispered, and Arthur could tell that his eyes flashes golden, even though he looked down in an attempt to shadow them.

"You don't have to cover your eyes from me, Mer..." Arthur's voice died out as his senses were taken over by a completely different kind of scenery. “...lin.”

They were in Camelot. Arthur would have recognized the lively streets anywhere. 

“How-”

“We’re inside my memories”, Merlin replied. Arthur swallowed, glancing at him nervously.

“What are you going to show me?” he finally asked.

“Everything, like you asked”, the warlock shrugged. “I figured it was best to start from the beginning.”

The king finally nodded, and the memory began playing out. Merlin pointed towards something, and Arthur turned his head to see a very young and happy-looking Merlin with a backpack and a stupid grin on his face.

No more than sixteen years of age. 

“This was eight years ago”, Merlin said quietly. “My mother thought that since my magic was getting stronger, I would get noticed in a small village such as Ealdor. She believed I’d be safer in Camelot, with Gaius, who could teach me to keep my magic in control.”

Arthur nodded, watching the scrawny kid look around in awe.

A distant sound of drums was suddenly filling the air. 

Arthur recognized that sound. 

In a blink of an eye, they were standing amongst the crowd in the courtyard, the young Merlin’s figure right next to them. 

“ _ Let this serve as a lesson to all _ ”, Arthur jumped as he heard his father’s voice. He looked up and saw the previous king of Camelot stand tall over by the balcony, two of his knights right behind him. 

He looked younger and healthier than during his last years, and Arthur’s heart stung painfully. 

He really missed his father, despite the fact his mind had been clouded by doubt and hatred. 

The guards walked someone up to the pyre standing in the middle of the crowd, and everyone’s heads were suddenly turned towards him as he was marched up to the middle.

“ _ This man, Thomas James Collins, is adjudged guilty of conspiring to use enchantments and magic. And pursuant to the laws of Camelot, I, Uther Pendragon, have decreed that such practices are banned on penalty of  _ death _. _ ”

The king of the past held a small pause, and Arthur saw both Merlins frown at his words.

“ _ I pride myself as a fair and just king, but for the crime of  _ sorcery _ there is but one sentence I can pass _ .” Uther then gave a nod to the executioner.

The prisoner was knelt down to the block and as Uther’s hand fell, so did the axe.

A choir of gasps filled the courtyard, and the Merlin of the past flinched.

“ _ When I came to this land, this kingdom was mired in chaos. But with the people’s help, magic was driven from the realm, so I declare a festival to celebrate twenty years since the Great Dragon was captured, and Camelot freed from the evil of sorcery _ .”

There was a small pause as Uther extended his arms towards the people. 

“ _ Let the celebrations begin _ .”

Arthur swallowed at his father’s words, and there was confused mumbling amongst the people. 

Suddenly, a high-pitched wail pierced the mild-mannered muttering. The people scattered, as an old lady in rags walked slowly towards the clearing.

Arthur recognized her. This was the woman who had tried to kill him once.

Merlin had saved his life, and as a reward, Uther had made him his manservant.

“ _ There is only one evil in this land, and it is not magic _ ”, the wind carried the woman’s frail, grief-stricken voice. “ _ It is you _ !”

“ _ Your hatred _ ”, she continued, “ _ and your  _ ignorance…”

She broke down in tears. “ _ You took my  _ son _. _ ”

Her pose suddenly changed, as she inhaled sharply and raised her arm towards the sky. “ _ And I promise you, that before these celebrations are over, you’ll share my tears _ ”, she gritted her rotten teeth, and hatred burned in her eyes as she watched the king watching down on her.

“ _ And eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth… a son for a son _ ”, she wailed.

“ _ Seize her _ !” Uther commanded.

The old woman responded by raising her hand to her mouth and hissing a few guttural words. A blinding light exploded from her chest, and her frail form was surrounded by a powerful wind. The people stood back, shielding their eyes as she disappeared to the wind.

“Can you do that, too?” Arthur swallowed, glancing at Merlin nervously.

“Yeah”, he replied with a shrug. “It’s painful and unpredictable, though, so I’ve rarely used it.”

Arthur decided to ask more later. 

The crowd began to scatter, and the Merlin of the past, looking now a lot more worried than before, kept going. 

“So your mother thought Camelot would be safer for you, huh?” Arthur murmured as they followed after the memory-Merlin.

The real time-Merlin smiled. “Yes, and she was probably right”, he stated. “When I came here, I had no knowledge of any spells. All I had was my intuitive magic, and I had little control over it.”

Arthur frowned - he’d never heard of such a thing, outside of his sister. Morgana’s dreams had begun long before she knew spellwork.

Magic had chosen her, just like it had chosen Merlin.

“ _ Uhh, where would I find Gaius, the court physician _ ?” the memory-Merlin asked from one of the guards, who instructed him with a point of a finger.

The next Arthur knew, they were already standing in the physician’s chambers as Merlin carefully opened the door and peeked inside with a knock. 

Memory-Merlin looked around in awe at all of Gaius’ strange objects and potions. 

“ _ Hello _ ?” he asked, as the physician was nowhere to be seen. His eyes landed on the figure looking at jars on the higher level of the chamber, and as memory-Merlin cleared his throat, the physician leaned backwards and Arthur heard a loud crashing sound. 

The soft wood railing failed, and Gaius fell with his back first, hurling towards the floor. 

Merlin nodded towards the memory-himself, who’s eyes had turned pale golden. Arthur watched with fascination, as the time around Gaius and the falling debris seemed to slow. 

Memory-Merlin looked frantically around for something, and his eyes landed on a nearby bed. A focused expression took over his features, and his eyes flashed golden once again as the bed quickly slithered his way under the falling Gaius. 

The physician landed somewhat softly. 

“You didn’t use any spells”, Arthur realized.

“I told you”, Merlin said. “I didn’t know any.”

“So you can just, slow time”, the king raised his brows. “Just like that?”

His manservant shrugged sheepishly. “Yeah, to an extent”, he replied. “And I’m much better at it nowaday than I used to be.”

“I’m sure”, Arthur muttered.

“ _ What did you just do _ ?” Gaius growled as he got up from the bed. 

“ _ Umm _ ” the memory-Merlin gawked at him, unsure of what to say.

“ _ Tell me _ !”

“ _ I-I-I have no idea what happened _ ”, he stuttered.

“ _ If anyone had seen that-” _ Gaius looked up from where he had fallen, shaking his head.

“ _ Oh, no, that was- nothing to do with me _ ”, Merlin tried to slither his way out of the situation. 

“ _ I know what it was _ ”, Gaius interrupted him. “ _ I just want to know where you learned how to do it. _ ”

“ _ Nowhere _ ”, Merlin replied immediately, eyes wide.

“ _ So how is it that you know magic _ ?” Gaius sounded suspicious.

“ _ I don’t _ ”, the boy hurriedly said, shaking his head slightly. 

“ _ Where did you study _ ?” Gaius breathed. 

Memory-Merlin remained quiet.

_ “Answer me _ !” snapped the physician, and the sorcerer winced. 

“ _ I’ve never studied magic, or been taught” _ , Merlin stumbled over his words.

_ “Are you lying to me, boy _ ?” Gaius took a step closer, narrowing his eyes. 

“ _ What do you want me to say _ ?” memory-Merlin asked finally, exhaling in defeat. 

“ _ The truth _ !”

“ _ I was born like this _ ”, the sorcerer insisted, and Gaius promptly went on to say that such a thing was impossible.

The physician glanced at the bed again. 

As if the question had just popped into his head, memory-Gaius asked:

“ _ Who are you _ ?”

“ _ Oh, I have this letter _ …” Merlin removed the backpack and dug a piece of parchment from one of the side pockets. 

Gaius looked at it, and then back at him. “ _ I don’t have my glasses _ .”

“ _ I’m Merlin _ ”, the boy then said with a smile. 

Gaius seemed taken aback, eyes widening. “ _ Hunith’s son _ ?”

“ _ Yes _ !” memory-Merlin grinned. 

“ _ But you’re not meant to be here until wednesday _ !” Gaius told him, chagrined. 

Memory-Merlin’s smile froze. “ _ It is wednesday. _ ”

Gaius opened his mouth. “ _ Ah. Right then. You better put your bag in there _ ”, he pointed towards the room at the back of the chambers. 

“ _ Okay _ ”, memory-Merlin nodded, started walking, and then whipped his head around towards Gaius. “ _ You won’t say anything about… um.. _ .”

He glanced nervously at the fallen debris and the misplaced bed. 

“ _ No _ ”, memory-Gaius shook his head. “ _ Although, Merlin _ ?”

The boy turned around. 

“ _ I should say thank you _ ”, the old physician stated with a smile.

The scene dissipated into nothing. Arthur swallowed, and squeezed Merlin’s bony arm. 

“Okay, so the first thing you see when you get to Camelot is witness an execution for the crime of magic”, the king said slowly.

“That’s correct.”   
“And the first thing you  _ do  _ is use magic.”

“Also correct.”

Arthur glanced at his old friend with a shake of his head. “You’re an idiot.”

Merlin shrugged. “What choice did I have? Gaius would have broken his back.”

“That’s fair”, the king exhaled. “You’re still an idiot, though.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll get back to idiots in a bit”, Merlin assured him. 

They fast forwarded to the next morning, when the boy was eating his breakfast porridge. Gaius stood behind his back, glancing at him suspiciously, and promptly knocked over a bucket of water from the side of the table.

Memory-Merlin stood up and the water froze in place.

Gaius gasped, glancing at Merlin, aghast.

The boy swallowed, and the bucket fell to the floor. 

“ _ How did you do that?” _ asked the physician, sounding dumbfounded. “ _ Did you incant a spell in your mind? _ ”

Memory-Merlin shook his head. “ _ I don’t know any spells _ .”

“ _ So what did you do _ ?” Gaius asked. “ _ There must be something. _ ”

Biting his lip, the sorcerer replied. “ _ It just happens _ .”

Arthur glanced quizzically at the man whose arm he was holding. 

“If you were this bad at controlling it, how on earth did you manage to not get caught?”   
“I learned”, Merlin shrugged. “I was inexperienced and foolish back then.”

“Well, luckily now you’re just foolish”, Arthur told him and for the first time since they’d been reunited, he heard Merlin laugh.

It warmed his heart. 

Memory-Merlin approached the door, about to go run errands for Gaius, as the physician stopped him.

“ _ And Merlin _ ?” he waited until the boy turned to look at him. “ _ I need hardly tell you, that the practice of  _ any _ form of enchantments will get you killed _ .”

The memory-sorcerer nodded seriously before taking his leave.

“It was scary”, said the real-time Merlin. “At the beginning. I felt my powers growing and I knew that if I slipped, even once, I would share the fate of Thomas James Collins.”

“I’m sorry”, Arthur murmured, a guilty sting inside his heart.

“Don’t be”, Merlin replied softly. “We’re here. We’re okay. Right?”

“Right.”

“Now, to get back to the idiot-part…”

The next thing he knew, they were standing outside again. Arthur’s eyes widened as he saw himself, eight years younger, having fun with some of his knight friends.

“Oh, no”, he groaned. “Do I really need to relive this?”

“Yes”, Merlin insisted. 

A poor servant carried the heavy shield, as memory-Arthur flung knives across the air to land on it. 

Him and the knights were laughing, as if having a time of his life. 

The shield fell, and memory-Merlin addressed memory-Arthur.

“ _ Hey, come on, that’s enough _ ”, the boy said with a smile. 

“Ughh”, the real Arthur groaned, covering his face with his free hand. “Why do you wish to torture me?”

“I don’t see what you mean, sire”, his servant said innocently. “Look, it’s you!”

“ _ What _ ?” asked the memory-Arthur, watching Merlin in disbelief.

Arthur remembered well what he was thinking back then. A spoiled prince, bullying his servants, and being as obnoxious as one could be. 

Thank the gods he’d changed for the better since then.

“ _ You’ve had your fun, my friend _ ”, memory-Merlin told the prince, who strutted closer with a confused look on his face.

“ _ Do I know you _ ?” memory-Arthur asked with narrowed eyes. 

“ _ Uh, I’m Merlin. _ ”

“ _ So I don’t know you _ .”

“ _ No _ .”

“ _ Yet, you called me ‘friend’. _ ”

The real Arthur groaned again, as Merlin smirked next to him. 

“I can’t believe what an ass I was”, the king sighed. 

“I think we’ve both grown a bit”, the sorcerer admitted. 

Meanwhile, the Merlin of the past continued.

“ _ That was my mistake _ .”

“ _ Yes, I think so. _ ”

“ _ Yeah, I could never have a friend who could be such an ass _ ”, the sorcerer grinned.

The real Arthur glanced at Merlin. “Honestly, how suicidal can you be?” he shook his head. “Using magic, mouthing off to royalty… I’msurprised you lasted more than a week.”

“If I’m being honest, sire”, Merlin replied, “I’m surprised I lasted more than a day.”

“ _ Or I one that could be so stupid _ ”, the memory-Arthur shot back as memory-Merlin turned around. “ _ Tell me,  _ Merlin _ , do you know how to walk on your knees _ ?”

“ _ No _ .”

“ _ Would you like me to help you _ ?”

Memory-Merlin smirked. “ _ I wouldn’t if I were you _ .”

Here he was, a scrawny kid from the countryside, challenging a prince who’d practiced to become a warrior since he was a child. 

The scene changed, and they were back in Gaius’ chambers, having dinner. 

“ _ What did your mother say to you about your gifts _ ?” the physician sounded curious, as he leaned towards the boy.

“ _ That I was special _ ”, memory-Merlin shrugged.

Gaius seemed to agree. “ _ You are special _ ”, he nodded. “ _ The likes of which I have never seen before _ .”

Memory-Merlin squinted at him. “ _ What do you mean _ ?”

“ _ Well _ ”, Gaius sighed. “ _ Magic requires incantations, spells… it takes years to study what I saw you do instinctively _ .” 

Memory-Merlin was silent for a while. “ _ Well, what’s the point if it can’t be used _ ?”

“ _ That I do not know _ ”, replied Gaius. “ _ You are a question, that has never been posed before, Merlin _ .”

Arthur pondered the physician’s words, and his servant’s double life finally seemed to unravel to him. It was interesting, to say the least, and he wanted to know what Merlin had been through behind his back. 

Next to him, Merlin sighed and closed his eyes. The scenery changed and they were back in the courtyard.

“ _ Come on then _ !” memory-Arthur urged the scrawny memory-Merlin in front of him. “ _ I warn you, I’ve been trained to kill since birth _ .”

“ _ Wow _ ”, said memory-Merlin. “ _ And how long have you been training to be a prat _ ?”

Merlin and Arthur both snorted at this, and watched the scene play out with nostalgic humour.

Memory-Arthur seemed aghast at the fact that this newcomer dared talk to him that way, and for Merlin’s credit, he’d never really stopped that.

Arthur thought that it was actually one of the reasons he was the man he was today, and one of the reasons he’d began to appreciate in Merlin more in the first place. 

He always talked to him like a normal human being, instead of a high-born. It had taught him humility, at least. Kept his feet on the ground, so to speak.

“ _ You can’t address me like that _ ”, memory-Arthur told the boy.

“ _ Sorry _ ”, snickered memory-Merlin, leaning forwards to a mocking bow. “ _ How long have you been training to be a prat, _ my lord?”

The knights around them laughed, and memory-Arthur seemed to lose his temper.

“Damn idiot”, said real Arthur. Memory-Merlin’s grin suddenly faded as the prince swung his flail towards him. 

Both of them flinched, and Merlin hissed loudly.

“You could have killed me there, sire”, he stated and shook his head. 

“Sorry”, Arthur replied sheepishly. “But you were annoying me.”

Memory-Merlin ducked the prince’s hits with an inch, and seemingly for the first time so far, made the smart move and retreated.

A small crowd had formed around them, and followed from the distance. Memory-Arthur chased him to a hay barn, where Merlin fell to his back. 

“Watch”, the warlock told his king, nodding towards his younger self. 

Arthur squinted, and could see the boy’s eyes quickly changing colour. In the next second, prince Arthur’s flail had wrapped around the sickles hanging from the ceiling. 

It gave memory-Merlin enough time to get back on his feet. 

“It all makes so much more sense”, the king sighed. “You  _ cheated _ !”

As a reply, the younger Arthur stepped on a nail which protruded through a box that had miraculously appeared in front of him. 

Memory-Merlin grinned victoriously and escaped behind an abandoned market stall. A thick rope lying on the ground tightened upon his command, and the unlucky prince tripped on it. 

Memory-Merlin seemed to be winning for a moment, but then he got distracted by some unknown passerby, and the prince gained the upper hand. 

King Arthur glanced morosely at his servant, who grinned back at him sheepishly. 

Merlin closed his eyes, and the colours around them faded to the dim room at the back of Arthur’s chambers. Gaius was cleaning up a wound on Merlin’s shoulder.

“Did I do that?” the king asked, horrified.

“Don’t feel too bad”, the servant replied. “I was kind of stepping on your toes.”

Nevertheless, Arthur did feel bad. He had been such a  _ child  _ back then…

“ _ You don’t know why I was born like this, do you _ ?” asked the boy sitting on the bed, glancing at Gaius with uncertainty.

“ _ No. _ ”

“ _ I’m not a monster, am I _ ?” memory-Merlin asked nervously.

It hurt Arthur to his very core, that this innocent  _ kid  _ had to wonder about such things. 

“ _ Don’t ever think that _ .” Gaius said with a heavy voice, looking Merlin straight into eye. ,

“ _ Then why am I like this _ ?” he sounded almost desperate. “ _ Please, I need to know why _ .”

Gaius sighed. “ _ Maybe there’s someone with more knowledge than me _ .”

Memory-Merlin’s shoulders slumped. “ _ If you can’t tell me, no one can _ .”

Arthur swallowed, and the next thing he knew, it was dark, and memory-Merlin was sleeping under his blankets.

“This”, the warlock began slowly, “Is where it started.”

“What started?” Arthur frowned.

“All of it.”

The king flinched in surprise as a deep whisper echoed in the air, calling for Merlin’s name. The memory-Merlin woke from his slumber, frowning in confusion. 

“What is that?” asked Arthur.

“You’ll see”, Merlin replied. The scenery changed again, and now they were somewhere dark. Pitch-black, actually. 

Eventually, the faint glow of a torch appeared from the midst of the darkness, and showed the staircase descending downwards.

Memory-Merlin was carrying the torch, and the steps eventually ended on a small cliff. 

Arthur knew this place - this was where his father had imprisoned the Great Dragon.

The boy stopped as he reached the cliff, looking around in the impressive cavern. 

His voice echoed. “ _ Where are you?” _

__ As a response, a powerful flap of wings pierced the air, and the  _ gigantic, _ golden-scaled dragon surged from somewhere below them. Memory-Merlin stumbled backwards, jaw hanging open and big blue eyes impossibly wide. 

“ **_I’m here_ ** ”, the dragon spoke. His voice was ancient, and  _ wise _ , realized Arthur. 

Memory-Merlin took in the impressive sight, swallowing in awe.

“ **_How small you are_ ** ”, the dragon hummed, “ **_for such a great destiny_ ** .”

“ _ Why? What do you mean _ ?” Merlin asked with feverish curiosity. “ _ What destiny?” _

“ **_Your gift, Merlin_ ** ”, the dragon replied as he took a better position on the rock he rested on. “ **_It was given to you for a reason.”_ **

**** “ _ So there is a reason”,  _ the warlock sounded almost relieved.

The dragon leaned closer, his huge, golden eyes focusing on Merlin’s small form. “ **_Arthur is the Once and Future King who will unite the land of Albion._ ** ”

Arthur had heard it before, yet he had no idea what it meant.

Memory-Merlin raised his brows. “ _...Right?” _

_ “ _ **_But he faces many threats_ ** ”, the dragon told him. “ **_From friend and foe alike._ ** ”

The dragon wasn’t wrong. Morgana, Agravaine, Mordred…

So many of Arthur’s friends had betrayed him.

“ _ I don’t see what this has to do with me _ ”, memory-Merlin replied to the wise creature in front of them.

“ **_Everything_ ** ”, the dragon answered dryly. “ **_Without you, Arthur will never succeed. Without you, there will be no Albion._ ** ”

“What does that even mean?” Arthur swallowed, looking back at his friend. “I haven’t united anything.”

Merlin shrugged apologetically. “I’m sorry, Arthur, but I haven’t the faintest clue about what he’s talking about most of the time. Most of the time he’s extremely unhelpful and vague.”

Arthur turned his eyes back at the dragon. 

“ _ No _ ”, memory-Merlin told him. “ _ No, you’ve got this wrong.” _

__ “ **_There is no right or wrong_ ** ”, the dragon replied in annoyance. “ **_Only what is, and what isn’t._ ** ”

“What?” Arthur raised a brow.

“Like I said”, Merlin sighed. “Extremely unhelpful, most of the time.”

“ _ I’m serious, if anyone wants to go and kill him, they can go ahead!” _ announced memory-Merlin. “ _ In fact, I’d give them a hand. _ ”

“Okay, I deserved that”, Arthur admitted.

The dragon  _ laughed  _ at him. 

“ **_None of us can choose our destiny, Merlin_ ** ”, his reptilian mouth turned to a smile. “ **_And none of us can escape it._ ** ”

Memory-Merlin was silent for a while, then shook his head stubbornly. “ _ No. No way, no. There must be another Arthur, because this one’s an idiot.” _

_ “ _ **_Perhaps it’s your destiny to change that_ ** .”

__ The king frowned, and gave his servant a look. 

“You still are, by the way”, Merlin told him. “Just slightly less so. So I’ve only been half-successful.”

“I don’t think I’m that bad”, Arthur defended himself. 

The scene changed once again, and now they were in the familiar ballroom inside the Camelot citadel. Lady Helen was performing to the royalty sitting by the end of the hall, and her singing was slowly putting everyone to sleep.

It was fascinating to watch it from an outsider’s perspective. At first, her singing made everyone’s head nod as they slowly fell into a slumber. Then, the room darkened as the candles went out, and Arthur’s eyes widened as cobwebs began sprawling from seemingly out of nowhere, growing atop the dinner guests sitting by the table.

The only one unaffected by her singing was Merlin, standing by the side of the room, covering his ears and looking frantically around.

Whatever was inside Merlin’s blood had protected him from the incantation.

The woman slowly walked forwards down the aisle, towards the sleeping form of the young prince of Camelot.

Arthur frowned, glancing at memory-Merlin, who seemed to notice her intentions. 

Her singing grew more violent and high-pitched, ominous in nature, and she reacher her arm back in a quick motion, about to strike something towards memory-Arthur.

Memory-Merlin took action, as the witch hadn’t noticed him, and his eyes flashed golden as he stared at the metal chandelier above her head.

Upon his command, it detached from the ceiling. 

She collapsed under its weight, and fell unconscious. 

Unsure of what to do next, memory-Merlin took his hands off his ears and looked around as if wondering what would happen next.

Slowly, the cobweb-covered people began waking up. 

Lady Helen had transformed to the old hag Mary Collins. Although her body had been crushed under the heavy chandelier, she slowly raised her upper body, hatred glowing from her eyes as she flung a dagger towards Arthur with terrifying speed.

The king saw his younger self stare at it in terror. 

The next thing he knew, the dagger’s pace had slowed down. Actually, the entire room seemed to be moving at a slower pace.

Only memory-Merlin had control of time, as he surged towards the prince. He grabbed memory-Arthur’s cloak-covered shoulder, and pulled him to the side as the dagger buried itself into his chair’s backrest.

Time returned to normal, and their memory versions fell to the floor.

Mary Collins took her last breath and collapsed, having given her all. 

The two boys had found their way up from the floor, and memory-Merlin sheepishly scratched his head as both Uther and Arthur Pendragon turned to look at him. 

So that’s what really happened, thought Arthur with a smile. 

“ _ You saved my boy’s life _ ”, Uther spoke as he stared at Merlin. “ _ A debt must be repaid.” _

_ “Ah, well…” _ Merlin awkwardly bowed as he was spoken to by the king himself.

“ _ Oh, don’t be so modest”,  _ Uther told him. “ _ You shall be rewarded. _ ”

“ _ No, honestly, you don’t have to, your highness _ ”, Merlin assured him instead. 

Uther shook his head. “ _ No, absolutely, this merits something quite special.” _

__ Memory-Merlin looked up to him with a shrug. “ _ Well…” _

_ “You shall be rewarded with a position in the royal household _ ”, Uther decided, patting his son on the back. “ _ You shall be prince Arthur’s manservant.” _

_ “Father!” _ memory-Arthur growled, but the king ignored him.

“Ironically, that was actually the best decision he could have made”, Merlin told him. 

“I suppose, looking back on it…” Arthur murmured.

The roomful of people began clapping, and their memory version glanced at each other spitefully. 

The Camelot ballroom faded, and they were back in Merlin’s room. The boy himself was lying in bed, staring off into distance; sunken in thought.

Gaius entered the room, carrying what looked like a large book.

“ _ Seems you’re a hero _ ”, congratulated the physician. 

“ _ Hard to believe, isn’t it?” _ smirked memory-Merlin. 

“ _ No”,  _ Gaius assured him. “ _ I knew it from the moment I met you. You saved my life, remember _ ” 

“ _ But…” _ Merlin frowned. “ _ That was magic. _ ”

Gaius gave him a nod. “ _ And no, it seems we’ve finally found a use for it. _ ”

“ _ What do you mean?” _

“ _ I saw how you saved Arthur’s life _ ”, the physician answered. 

“ _ Oh, no-” _

_ “Perhaps that’s it’s purpose.” _

Memory-Merlin sighed in annoyance. “ _ My destiny _ ”, he grimaced in defeat. 

“I finally gave in, when both Kilgharrah and Gaius both suggested it”, Merlin told Arthur. 

“Kilgharrah? The dragon?”

“Yes”, Merlin nodded. “So actually, using my magic to save your royal backside wasn’t even my idea in the first place.”

“ _ Indeed _ ”, replied Gaius to memory-Merlin. He then took the book he was carrying and handed it towards the boy. 

“ _ This book was given to me when I was your age.”  _ It seemed to catch memory-Merlin’s interest, and he stood up. “ _ But I have a feeling it’ll be of more use to you than it was to me.” _

__ Merlin frowned, opening it’s seals after throwing a suspicious glance towards the physician. 

It was a book of spells, Arthur realized. Memory-Merlin’s eyes lit up, as he smiled up at Gaius.

“ _ But this is a book of magic _ ”, he stated. 

“ _ Which is why you must keep it hidden _ ”, said Gaius. 

“ _ I’ll study every word” _ , Merlin vowed with a grin. The old man replied with a smile accompanied by a contented nod.

“And that’s how it started”, Merlin said matter-of-factly, as his room dissipated into black smoke around them. 

“I already know more than I could have ever hoped for”, Arthur breathed, flashing him a quick smile. It wasn’t a bad idea to come all the way back to the beginning.

To the roots of their friendship.

* * *

“So, what’s next?” asked Arthur, as Merlin seemed to stay shut-eyed longer than before.

“It was such a long time ago I’m having a hard time recalling everything”, the warlock muttered back. “Here. Remember Valiant, the knight who used enchanted gear to beat you in the tournament?”

“Yes”, Arthur frowned. “You told me he was using magic, I thought you were lying, and then I… fired… you…”

“Yes”, Merlin grinned.

They were standing in the Camelot armory, which was looking way fuller than normally – shields and equipment decorated with each champion’s respective mark was littering every corner of the chambers.

Memory-Merlin appeared in from the door, Arthur’s armor laid out on the table in front of a window. He muttered the names of the pieces to himself as he grabbed one of them.

A loud sizzling sound filled echoed in the chambers, startling Merlin and having him divert his attention from the armor pieces.

“ _ Hello _ ?” he asked, but the armory was empty. “ _ Is there someone there?” _

__ The sizzling continued, and memory-Merlin knelt in front of what he probably deduced as the source of the sound.

It was a white shield decorated with three, green snakes. 

Arthur, Merlin, and memory-Merlin all leaned closer, and they all saw as one of the snakes’ red eyes blinked. The boy reached out his finger to touch the shield, but he was interrupted by a sword from the dark.

Valiant appeared from the shadows, looking angrily at memory-Merlin.

Arthur swallowed, fearing for his servant’s safety despite knowing full well that this happened eight years ago, and he was holding onto the man’s arm. 

Memory-Merlin looked up with a frown, and slowly stood up. Valiant didn’t lower his sword.

“ _ Can I help you with something, boy _ ?” the burly man asked ominously, his nostrils flaring with anger.

“ _ Nope, I’m good _ ”, memory-Merlin replied, muttering something about gathering his master’s armor.

“ _ You best be on your way _ ”, Valiant replied, finally lowering his sword. Memory-Merlin collected the armor pieces and stumbled his way out of the chambers.

Arthur gave Valiant an angry glare. It made him feel better knowing that the man was dead now.

Next, they were back in Gaius’ chambers.  An injured knight was laying on a bed, with a layer of sweat covering his forehead. The physician showed memory-Merlin the snakebites on the knight’s neck.

“ _ He was fighting knight Valiant _ ”, the boy said, mainly to himself, before storming off. They followed Merlin’s younger self all the way to sir Valiant’s chambers, where his door was cracked.

As memory-Merlin leaned to peek inside, so did the two spectators. 

“Dinner time”, smiled sir Valiant, sitting by a bench in front of his shield. The snake heads were alive, green-scaled beasts sizzling hungrily as the man dangled a mouse by its tail in front of them. As they devoured it, memory-Merlin decided he’d seen enough and stormed off.

Valiant saw a glimpse of him, apparently, because he stood abruptly and walked to the door. 

Merlin sent them back to Gaius’ chambers, where the physician was still tirelessly working on the wounded knight.

“ _ I’ve just seen one of the snakes in Valiant’s shield come alive _ ”, memory-Merlin panted with a low voice. “ _ He’s using magic. _ ”

“ _ Are you sure?” _ Gaius asked suspiciously. 

“ _ He was fighting Valiant when he collapsed _ ”, Merlin gestured towards the incapacitated knight. “ _ It must have been one of his snakes. I have to tell Arthur.” _

__ “ _ Is there any chance you might be mistaken?” _ Gaius asked, standing up as Merlin was about to storm off once again. 

“ _ I know magic when I see it”, _ Merlin shot back. 

“ _ Perhaps, but have you any proof? _ ” Gaius asked in return. 

Merlin’s eyes widened.  _ “Don’t you believe me? _ ”

“ _ I fear you’ll land yourself in trouble _ ”, the physician scolded. “ _ How would you explain you were in Valiant’s chambers?” _

_ “It doesn’t matter _ !” Merlin insisted. “ _ He’s using magic to cheat in the tournament. _ ”

“Those are some mighty big words from you, Merlin”, Arthur murmured, raising a brow to his servant, who rolled his eyes.

“ _ You can’t go accusing a knight of using magic without proof _ ”, argued Gaius. “ _ The king would never accept the word of a servant over the word of a knight? _ ”

That statement made Arthur consider his values - and he realized, that this wasn’t true. At least no anymore. It hadn’t been true for a long time now - servants were the ones to see the most, actually. Knights were known to be dishonest from time to time.

Arthur had been trusting Merlin with pretty much  _ everything, _ especially in the most recent years, and it didn’t matter that he wasn’t a knight. 

The king valued his opinions and thoughts more than anyone else’s, and that was something he’d never thought of until now.

“ _ Oh, so my word doesn’t count for anything?” _ memory-Merlin asked angrily.

“ _ I’m afraid it counts for very little as far as the king is concerned, that’s the way it is!” _ Gaius insisted, shaking his head.

Memory-Merlin didn’t reply, and instead retreated to sulk into his room. 

“I eventually snuck into Valiant’s room while he was at a feast”, Merlin explained to Arthur. “I used magic to call out his snakes, and cut off one of their heads. Took it to Gaius, who used it to extract an antidote.”

Arthur nodded. “Smart.”

“I have my moments”, Merlin admitted, and the scene around them changed to that of prince Arthur’s own chambers.

“ _ You?” _ prince Arthur’s questioned humorously. “ _ You chopped it’s head off?” _

_ “Ewan was bitten by a snake from the shield when he was fighting Valiant, you can talk to Gaius, you can see the puncture wounds in Ewan’s neck where the snake bit him”,  _ memory-Merlin spoke so quickly Arthur was surprised he didn’t tangle with his words.

“ _ Ewan was beating him _ ”, Merlin insisted. “ _ He had to cheat!” _

_ “Valiant wouldn’t dare use magic in Camelot _ ”, memory-Arthur shook his head in disbelief.

_ “Ewan was pinned under Valiant’s shield, no one could see the snake bite him.” _

_ “I don’t like the guy, but that doesn’t mean he’s cheating _ ”, the prince replied as he stood up. 

Memory-Merlin sighed in frustration. “ _ Gaius is preparing an antidote for the snake venom, when Ewan’s conscious, he’ll tell you what happened. If you fight Valiant in the final, he’ll use the shield, it’s the only way he can beat you.” _

__ When memory-Arthur still didn’t seem convinced, Merlin grabbed the severed snake head and shoved it towards him.

“ _ Look at it. Have you ever seen any snakes like this in Camelot?” _

__ The prince frowned and took it from the warlock’s hands to study it. 

“ _ I know I’m just a servant _ ”, said memory-Merlin, now with a different tone. “ _ And my word doesn’t count for anything. I wouldn’t lie to you.” _

__ Arthur and Merlin both winced.

“ _ I want you to swear to me that what you’re telling me is true _ ”, prince Arthur was looking more serious now. 

“ _ I swear it’s true _ .”

Arthur nodded slightly. “ _ Then I believe you. _ ”

A victorious smile took over memory-Merlin’s expression. 

_ Just because I believed him? _ thought Arthur with a frown. 

__ “Everything would be so much easier if everyone always listened to me”, Merlin shrugged. 

“Ewan died, though”, Arthur replied. “And I… made a fool of myself in front of everyone, with no proof of Valiant’s treachery.”

“And you fired me, yes”, Merlin reminiscenced. “Temporarily.”

The scene disappeared, and they were back standing in the Great Dragon’s cave.

Memory-Merlin was upset, kicking the stones off the stairs as he descended. 

“ _ Where are you?” _ he yelled into the echoing cave. “ _ I just came to tell you, whatever you think my destiny is, whatever it is you think I’m supposed to do, you’ve got the wrong person!” _

__ Nothing answered to him except his own echo. 

“ _ That’s it”, _ he stated finally. “ _ Goodbye.” _

__ As the boy was turning around to leave, the deep voice of the Great Dragon spoke from somewhere above them.

“ **_If only it were so easy to escape one’s destiny_ ** ”, he said, and Arthur looked up to see the dragon descend down on the nearest rock. 

“ _ How can it be my destiny to protect someone who hates me?”  _ Merlin argued in frustration, waving his torch around. 

“ **_A half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole_ ** ”, Kilgharrah replied, as if his words made perfect sense. “ **_Very soon you shall learn that._ ** ”

Arthur’s eyes widened at his words.

_ All this time, our destinies have been so intertwined he calls us two halves of a whole? _

_ “Ah, great” _ , said memory-Merlin, shaking his head. “ _ Just what I needed, another riddle.” _

_ “ _ **_That you and Arthur’s path lies together, is but the truth_ ** ”, argued the dragon. 

Memory-Merlin stared at him in confusion. “ _ What is that supposed to mean?” _

_ “ _ **_You know, young warlock_ ** ”, Kilgharrah spoke, “ **_this is not the end. It is the beginning.”_ **

**** With that, the dragon spread it’s wings and flew back up. 

“ _ Just give me a straight answer!” _ Merlin tried yelling after him, but he was long gone.

“Useful”, said real-time Merlin. “As always.”   
“I can see your point”, Arthur replied slowly. 

The scene changed again, and they were back inside the court physician’s chambers. This time, a grinning Merlin was wheeling in one of the dog statues that were decorating the citadel.

“What are you going to do with that?” Arthur frowned, and right after him Gaius repeated the same question. 

“ _ I’m going to let everyone see the snakes for themselves!” _ Merlin replied. 

Inside his room, with the dog statue lying next to his bed, the boy removed one of the floor boards to dig out his book of spells. Arthur frowned, leaning over his servant’s shoulder to read the gibberish on the pages.

“You’re telling me you can actually read that?” he curved his upper lip.

As if to answer his question, memory-Merlin began slowly trying to articulate the words. 

They had no effect, though.

Arthur watched him for a moment with a frown. “So you can’t read it”, he came to the conclusion.

Merlin rolled his eyes at him. “Of course I can, I’m just doing it wrong. That’s not a beginner spell. And for the record, I’ve had eight years of practice since then.”

“So you’re telling me, if I brought you a statue of, say, a horse”, Arthur questioned, “You could animate it for me?”

“Yeah”, his servant replied with a shrug. “If that’s what you’d want. But it would still be a feral, wild horse. Not suitable as a steed.”

“Right, of course.”

Meanwhile, the younger counterpart of his servant was tirelessly trying different variations for the same spell. He tried yelling, whispering, and everything in between. 

The dog remained as a statue. Finally Merlin seemed to give up, threw to book to his bed, and fell on it with his back first, seemingly exhausted.

The next thing he knew, it was morning. The sunlight shone in through the small window in Merlin’s room, and the servant’s eyes were closed although his mouth was still uttering the words to the spell.

“Were you up all night?” the king asked, feeling a pang of sympathy inside him.

“Yep”, Merlin told him. “It was worth it though. Look.”

Arthur’s eyes widened as the statue had, in fact, turned into a big black dog. Memory-Merlin flinched awake when it barked at him. 

__ “ _ I did it! _ ” he exclaimed with a victorious laugh. As the dog surged towards the boy in an attempt to bite him, he was quick to get out of the room and close the door behind him. 

Gaius entered his chambers, with the announcement; “ _ Arthur’s fighting Valiant!” _

_ “I know, I’m on my way”,  _ Merlin assured him. “ _ Oh, whatever you do, don’t go into my room, we’ll deal with it later.” _

Next, Arthur found himself standing next to both Merlins by the edge of the tournament battleground. 

He saw himself, fighting Valiant tirelessly.

“Damn, I’m fighting pretty well, aren’t I?” he thought out loud.

“Sure”, Merlin admitted.

As memory-Arthur was slammed against the nearby wall, Valiant close behind, Merlin got his chance.

“ **_Þærinne ymbcierran. Organ horwiht dolg!_ ** ” memory-Merlin incanted, reaching out his hand to channel it.

“Are you telling me”, Arthur hissed, “That  _ no one _ saw that?”

“Are you kidding me?” Merlin snapped back. “Everyone’s looking at you!”

Valiant’s shield came alive, as the two remaining snakes emerged. 

_ “What are you doing _ ?” Valiant panicked. “ _ I didn’t summon you!” _

Everyone saw it, there was no doubt about it. 

“ _ Kill him _ !” commanded Valiant, and the snakes slithered out. Morgana, who’d been sitting in the crowd, threw him a sword, which allowed him to slay the snakes and then put a quick end to Valiant by sliding the sword through his gut.

“I almost forgot that”, Arthur said somberly. “Morgana used to be my friend.”

“Yeah”, Merlin said quietly. “She did. And this is how I’d rather remember her.”

“So”, Arthur muttered. “You saved my life. Again. I’m starting to see a pattern here.”

“Get used to it”, the servant replied. “I’ve actually forgotten about half of the times I’ve saved your life. But don’t worry, there’s still plenty I do remember.”

“Next memory?” Arthur raised his brows, to which Merlin replied with a nod. 

* * *

“You remember the disease that was spreading through the water? It was caused by an afanc”, Merlin closed his eyes.

“I remember”, the king replied, an uneasy memories of the dark caverns beneath Camelot, with nothing by a torch to guide their way. 

Arthur blinked, and they were standing in Gaius’ chambers. He saw a glimpse of knights taking their leave before the physician slammed the door shut behind them.

“You came here searching for evidence about a sorcerer”, Merlin stated with a humorous tone, and Arthur threw him a glance.

“ _ We have to hide that book _ !” Gaius scolded Merlin. 

“ _ No _ ”, replied memory-Merlin mischievously. “ _ We must use it. _ ”

“ _ Don’t be stupid _ .”

“ _ If I have this legacy, then what is it for _ ?” pressured Merlin, staring intently at his mentor. “ _ You keep telling me, it’s not for playing tricks. _ ”

Gaius seemed aghast. “ _ You want to practice magic while the king is hunting for sorcerers? Are you mad?” _

__ “He does have a point”, Arthur murmured.

“Meh”, Merlin admitted.

“ _ Merlin, your life is destined for more important things _ ”, Gaius told him dismissively. 

“ _ But if I don’t practice then how will I get to be this… great warlock?” _ memory-Merlin’s frustration shone straight through his tone of voice. 

“ _ There will come a time when your skills will be recognized” _ , the old physician told the boy, pointing him with a spoon. 

Merlin gave him an exasperated sigh, a mocking smile spreading over his face. “ _ Grand! How long do I have to wait?” _

__ “ _ Patience is a virtue, Merlin _ ”, Gaius pressed. 

The boy looked at him in disbelief. “ _ Sitting by and doing nothing is a virtue?” _

__ Gaius narrowed his eyes and pointed him with the spoon again. “ _ Your time will come. _ ”

“ _ I could cure than man we saw _ !” Merlin argued more, and Arthur could practically sense the passion that he had for helping others with his gift.

This Merlin was so much more innocent, so ready to act... so young.

He’d grown so much. They both had.

“ _ I know it’s tempting to use the way you find easiest, Merlin _ ”, Gaius sighed, putting down his spoon. 

“ _ It is when it would save a life!” _

__ “ _ It’s no good saving just one person, we need to figure out how this illness is spreading _ ”, Gaius’ patience seemed to be wearing thin. 

“ _ Arthur is out there, right now, looking for the sorcerer!” _

__ “ _ A sorcerer who’s powerful enough to do this will never be found by searching the town”, _ Gaius growled. At this point, Merlin’s younger counterpart seemed to give up and let out a defeated sigh. 

“ _ So what can we do?” _ he then asked.

_ “Hope that science can find the answer before it kills us all.” _

__ Arthur swallowed, and watched the scene fade away and dissipate. 

“I still disagree with Gaius”, Merlin said suddenly. “In my opinion, saving even one life would be a risk worth taking.”

“He still has a point”, Arthur replied, sunken in thought. “You need to find out how it’s spreading.”

As Gaius’ chambers materialized once again, Arthur was shocked to see a younger Guinevere burst in crying through the physician’s door. 

“ _ Gwen?” _

_ “Gaius”, _ she wept. Memory-Merlin followed in through the door, carrying a bucket of water.

“ _ Do you have the sickness?”  _ asked the old man sternly, to which the girl shook her head.

“ _ My father _ ”, she sobbed. “ _ Please, Gaius, he’s all I have.” _

_ “Gwen, I have no cure _ ”, Gaius told her softly. 

“ _ I’m begging you!” _ Arthur’s to-be wife tried, her red-rimmed eyes shining with tears.

“ _ I wish there was something, anything, but so far the remedy is beyond what I can achieve _ ”, Gaius told her apologetically, and grabbed her hand. “ _ I’m sorry, Gwen. _ ”

She left the chambers sobbing.

Arthur felt helpless, watching her storm off while she was in such distress. And this was a memory, so there was nothing he could do to help her.

“ _ There must be something we can do _ ”, Merlin said to Gaius as Gwen took her leave.

“ _ Let’s hope this will provide some answers”, _ the physician muttered, grabbing the bucket the servant was carrying. 

“ _ It’ll be too late for Gwen’s father _ ”, Merlin pressed. 

“ _ I fear you may be right _ ”, the physician replied grimly, continuing his studies. 

“You went to cure him, didn’t you?” Arthur raised a brow, glancing at the sorcerer.

“I did”, he answered sheepishly. 

The room they were in faded again, and they were standing under the night sky, in the middle of a quiet Camelot street. Dogs were barking in the distance. 

Suddenly, memory-Merlin’s thin figure ran right by them wearing nothing but a flimsy coat and his night attire. 

They followed him through the shadowy alleys, but then the sorcerer’s way was blocked by a band of knights, still searching for the culprit responsible for the plague. 

Arthur watched, with concern, as the knight he recognized to be sir Kay, approached the spot where memory-Merlin was hiding in. The young sorcerer seemed to notice this, and the king watched him panic for a moment before settling with incanting a quick spell to make the nearby door creak. 

It was enough to divert Kay’s attention elsewhere. The knight approached the door with a victorious smirk on his face, but as he was close enough, it flung right back at him, managing to knock him unconscious.

Arthur had to admit, he was rather impressed by the servant’s resourcefulness.

“Not bad”, he congratulated the warlock, as his younger self made his way to Gwen’s house.

Memory-Merlin snuck inside, where Gwen was sleeping by her father’s bedside. As quietly as he could, he placed a bag under his pillow. 

“Oh, you didn’t think this true, did you?” Arthur muttered to himself. 

“Didn’t matter to me at the time”, the servant replied. 

Memory-Merlin uttered some unknown combination of words, his eyes turned golden, and the spell took effect. A golden cloud seemed to veil Gwen’s father’s features for a moment, before disappearing into the air. 

Memory-Merlin had time to sneak outside, and he watched through the window as the blacksmith awoke from his slumber, looking healthy as a horse, and Gwen stirred awake.

“ _ Father? What’s happened?” _

__ As Gwen saw her father’s pallor returning to normal, she turned ecstatic and began sobbing with tears of joy. 

Memory-Merlin smiled, and left.

“I remember how this ended up”, Arthur murmured. “We found the bag, arrested Gwen… you tried to come forward and tell us  _ you  _ were the sorcerer…”

“In my defence, I was telling the truth”, Merlin told him matter-of-factly, and the king rolled his eyes in response.

“Well, we went down to the tunnels beneath Camelot, with Gaius, and saw the creature”, the sorcerer continued as the scene changed into Kilgharrah’s cave. “We recognized it to be an afanc, but we had no idea how to defeat it. So I went to Kilgharrah for advice, as per usual.”

“I don’t know why you kept coming back here”, Arthur sighed. “The dragon is so unhelpful. Besides, he ended up trying to burn the entire city.”

“We’ll get to that”, there was an odd tone in Merlin’s voice. “Eventually.”

“ **_Hello_ ** _ ”,  _ Kilgharrah greeted memory-Merlin. “ **_The great warlock returns, as I knew he would._ ** _ ” _

_ “I need to know how to defeat an afanc” _ , the young warlock announced.

“ **_Yes, I suppose you do_ ** ”, the dragon pondered. 

Memory-Merlin’s eyes were hopeful.  _ “Will you help me?” _

__ “ **_Trust the elements that are at your command_ ** ”, Kilgharrah told him. 

“ _ Elements? But what is it that I have to do?” _

_ “ _ **_You cannot do this alone_ ** ”, the creature added. “ **_You are but one side of a coin. Arthur is the other._ ** ”

Memory-Merlin shook his head, perplexed. “ _ I don’t understand, tell me what it is I have to do.” _

__ Kilgharrah ignored him, as per usual, and took off with a few majestic wing strikes.

“ _ No! Please, help me!” _

Arthur heard the frustration and despair in young Merlin’s voice, and couldn’t help but feel more anger towards the beast he’d once slain.

“ **_I have_ ** !” Kilgharrah replied with a laugh, before disappearing out of sight. 

“ _ Ah yeah, right _ ”, memory-Merlin muttered. “ _ Thanks. _ ”

“Two sides of a coin?” Arthur repeated the dragon’s words, glancing quickly at the sorcerer next to him, hoping he might shed some insight on what Kilgharrah had meant.

“Yeah”, Merlin said quietly. “He likes to say that about us.”

“Did you learn what he meant by the elements?” Arthur asked then.

“Yes”, the sorcerer looked down. “An afanc is made out of earth and water, two of the four elements. Wind and fire combined could destroy it.”

“Wind and fire?” Arthur frowned.

Without warning, Merlin’s memories sent them down to the dark tunnels, with the afanc’s screeching shattering the air as the younger selves of Arthur, Morgana, and Merlin took their stand against it.

“Look”, Merlin nodded towards himself.

“ _ Arthur, use the torch!” _ his younger counterpart shouted.

The prince waved his torch aimlessly in front of the massive beast. 

Arthur glanced at memory-Merlin with a frown, hearing the words of the Old Religion he was uttering. A powerful, unnatural wind made its way howling through the cavern. It grabbed the flames on Arthur’s torch and made it spread on the afanc, whose body ignited immediately. 

The creature burned to ashes with a screech.

“I no longer need the Old Religion to do that”, Merlin told the king. “I… gained a different kind of power. I’ll explain it to you later. There is much you still need to understand about magic.”

“No doubt”, Arthur replied. “I barely know anything, especially because most of my life I’ve been under the assumption that it is pure evil.”

“Magic isn’t evil”, the servant answered immediately. “It’s neither good nor evil, it all depends on the one who wields it. Your father was blinded by his hatred and sorrow, and needed to find a scapegoat for what happened to your mother.”

Arthur swallowed and looked down - he knew the man was right. He’d just never seen it before.

He cleared his throat. “What’s next?”

“The poisoned chalice”, Merlin said quietly. 

“Oh.”

* * *

Merlin’s next memory took them to the feasting hall of the citadel. Lord Bayard was there for a visit. 

“I remember this night”, the king muttered.

“Me too”, his servant replied cheerily. “I drank from a poisoned cup, but you know this. There is something else you should know.”   
“Which is?”

“Look.”

Memory-Merlin was walking away with a mercian servant girl whom Arthur recognized.

“I’ve seen her before”, he frowned. “When I was at the caverns beyond the Forests of Baylor… She was there. She’s a sorceress.”

“Yes, a very powerful one”, his friend replied.

The two servants disappeared to the hallway, and they followed.

“Who is she?” Arthur asked, as Merlin seemed to avoid the question. 

“You’ll find out.”

“ _ It wasn’t until I saw him give the goblet to Arthur until I realized _ ”, the girl babbled, and memory-Merlin softly asked her to slow down. 

She truly was beautiful, with her milky-white skin, big, sapphire-blue eyes, and dark locks that framed her face. Almost irresistible.

“ _ Two days ago, I was bringing Bayard his evening meal” _ , the girl swallowed.  _ “We’re supposed to knock, he didn’t expect me to walk in- _ ”

“ _ So what are you trying to say?” _

_ “If he knows I said anything he will  _ kill  _ me _ ”, she sounded sincerely scared. 

“ _ I will not let that happen to you, I promise. Please tell me what you saw.” _

__ The girl shook her head. “ _ Bayard is no friend of Camelot. He craves the kingdom for himself.” _ _   
_ __ Memory-Merlin glanced over his shoulder. “ _ Tell me - what has Bayard done with the goblet? _ ” 

“ _ He believes that if he kills Arthur, Uther’s spirit will be broken and Camelot will fall.” _

__ “ _ What has he done with the goblet? _ ” Merlin asked again, with a heavier tone. 

“ _ I saw him putting something in it”,  _ the girl’s voice trembled.

“ _ What? _ ”

“ _ I-I shouldn’t, he’ll kill me-” _

“ _ Please, tell me!” _

__ Arthur swallowed in anticipation, waiting for the girl to continue almost as eagerly as memory-Merlin. 

“ _ Is it poison? _ ” Arthur’s young servant guessed. 

The girl nodded, he beautiful eyes watering. Memory-Merlin turned around and ran. 

“You know what happened next”, the sorcerer said quietly. 

“Yes”, Arthur replied slowly. “But there is one thing I still don’t get. When I was at the cave, there was this… strange light. I thought it was her doing it at first, but then I realized it was  _ helping  _ me. Guiding me through the darkness after I’d lost my torch.”

“That was me”, Merlin’s expression turned distant. “I could see you were in danger. I helped in whatever way I could.”

A short, surprised laugh escaped Arthur’s mouth.

_ I should have known. _

__ “But the sorceress wasn’t there to kill you”, Merlin added suddenly. “She wanted me dead.”   
“Yes, she did say that it wasn’t my  _ destiny _ to die by her hand…”

Merlin’s expression turned difficult to decipher, and Arthur frowned. “What is it?”

“It’s just”, he bit his bottom lip. “Your destiny was supposed to die by Morgana’s hand. But you didn’t. I made sure of that.”

“Right”, Arthur breathed. “Thank you for that.”

“You’re welcome. I… I didn’t think we’d both be alive by the end of it, but here we are”, Merlin smiled as his bright eyes turned back up towards him. 

The king returned the smile, patting his old friend gently on the shoulder.

* * *

“What’s next?” he asked softly. 

“Lancelot”, Merlin replied, flashing Arthur his dimples. 

Before he knew it, they were standing outside Camelot, in the dusky woods near the city walls. The griffin, which had caused them great trouble, was surging right towards the foolhardy knight riding towards it with his lance pointed straight towards the beast. 

It was a magnificent sight, to be frank. 

Arthur did also notice his servant’s past self, standing in the mist, and he heard as he began uttering the incantation:

“ **_Bregdan anweald gafeluc_ ** **!”**

Nothing happened, and the warlock said it again, heavier and louder.

The griffin approached Lancelot’s riding form. 

“ ** _Bregdan anweald gafeluc_** ”, Memory-Merlin’s voice was calmer and more controlled, and then his eyes finally turned honey-golden, and the knight’s lance was enveloped in blue fire.

The enchanted weapon hit the creature straight into its chest - it fell to the ground upon impact, screeching in pain. 

Arthur couldn’t help but grin at memory-Merlin’s excitement, as the boy released his anxiety and laughed. 

The scene dissipated, and they were back, standing in Camelot’s hallways. Arthur remembered he tried bargaining for Lancelot’s knighthood to be restored, but his father wouldn’t have it.

“ _ They’ll restore your knighthood _ ”, memory-Merlin tried to assure Lancelot, who seemed down. “ _ Of course they will, you killed the griffin.” _

_ “But I didn’t kill the griffin _ ”, the older man replied. “ _ You did.” _

__ Memory-Merlin’s face widened to a nervous grin. 

“I knew you’d eventually be seen by  _ somebody _ ”, Arthur exclaimed. “You can’t expect to just be able to conduct illegal activities everywhere you go and not be noticed.”

Merlin shrugged him off.

“ _ Bregdan anweald”,  _ Lancelot mimicked Merlin’s words. “ _ I heard you. I saw you. _ ” __

__ Merlin’s adam’s apple bobbed. 

“ _ Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me _ ”, the man promised. “ _ But I cannot take the credit for what I did not do. There’ll be no more lies, no more deceit.” _

Merlin’s memories dissolved into darkness, and Arthur turned his face down. 

“I understand, now”, he said quietly. “He truly is a noble man.”

“He is”, Merlin smiled. “Kilgharrah likes him, too.”

Arthur raised his brows in disbelief. “Lancelot met with the dragon? You took him down there?  _ When? _ ”

Merlin turned hesitant. “Uhh… We’re not there yet. I try to show you my memories in the order which they happened in.”   
Arthur sighed, rubbing his eyes and taking a better grip on Merlin’s arm. “Fine. What’s next?”

“Remember Edwin? He’s next.”

* * *

Arthur looked around to find himself in one of the guest rooms at Camelot. The room was filled with luggage, and he saw memory-Merlin walk in with his uncanny snooping-around -expression. 

He took a wooden box from the nearby table, frowning at the carvings on it. Arthur leaned closer as the boy opened it. 

He grimaced upon seeing what was inside - it looked to be dead beetles.

“Ew”, he stated. 

Memory-Merlin closed the lid, studying the words again. 

“ **_Bebiede þe arisan ealdu_ ** ”, he murmured. 

If something changed, Arthur certainly couldn’t see it - but the servant did, since he looked at the box with a worried look and opened it again. 

The beetles had come alive. They were crawling all over the box, and it startled Arthur. 

_ Disgusting _ . 

Memory-Merlin seemed to think the same, because he grimaced with a curved lip and closed the lid.

“ _ Very good _ ”, a soft voice told him from somewhere behind them. 

“Oh, God”, Arthur let out a breath, having been startled for the second time within the same five seconds. 

Memory-Merlin looked embarrassed, giving the box to Edwin, who approached him slowly. 

He burnt man took the box, watching the beetles crawl around with gentleness in his eyes. The physician took his hand and swayed it over the insects.

“ **_Swefe_ ** ”, he whispered, and the beetles stilled again. 

Edwin threw a glance towards memory-Merlin. “ _ You have magic. _ ” 

It was a statement, not a question. “ _ Trust me, I didn’t do anything _ ”, he tried to deny.

“ _ Then how else did you bring them to life? _ ” his smirk was crooked and unsettling. “ _ Only magic can do such a thing.” _

Edwin turned his eyes back towards his box. “ _ These little angels are how I cured lady Morgana. They repaired the damage to her brain.” _

__ Arthur scoffed. “That’s debatable.”

“ _ They saved her life”, _ Edwin closed the box. “ _ Magic can be a force for good.” _

__ “ _ I know _ ”, Merlin nodded carefully.

“ _ Then why do you fear it?” _ frowned the physician.

“ _ Uther has banned it, it’s not permitted.” _

“ _ Should I have let Morgana die? _ ” asked Edwin in return. 

“ _ No. _ ”

“ _People like us_ ”, Edwin’s voice was soft as he nodded to Merlin. “ _We have a gift._ _Do you not think it should be used to make this a better world?”_

__ His words must have been like honey to a hungry bear. A young and confused Merlin, only just figuring out how powerful he truly was, coming face to face with someone who was willing to use magic for good instead of trying to hide it with every possible chance, like Gaius.

It was too good to be true, and Arthur knew it - he remembered how Edwin had wormed his way into Camelot, turned them all against Gaius, and almost got away with it. 

“ _ Perhaps _ ”, memory-Merlin admitted. 

He began gathering up some dust he’d knocked over, but Edwin stopped him. 

“ _ Don’t bother picking that up _ ”, the physician smiled. “ **_Feormian doost rénian._ ** ”

Arthur’s eyes widened, as the scattered sand floated it’s way back into the bottle it had spilled from. Memory-Merlin grinned, and the king couldn’t help but feel warmth in his heart towards this gullible idiot. 

He loved magic, there was no doubt about it. And Arthur was beginning to see why.

“ _ Why waste a talent like that? _ ” Edwin’s eyes narrowed. “ _ And I could teach you. _ ”

“What a  _ creep _ ”, Arthur scoffed. To his surprise, Merlin laughed. 

“Sure.”

Memory-Merlin glanced at Edwin before saying: “ **_Rǽdee ásce geotan._ ** ”

Just like that, the bottle moved itself and poured its contents to the nearby bowl. 

The servant smiled at his handiwork, like it was the greatest thing he’d ever achieved.

“ _ What do you use this for _ ?” asked Edwin. 

“ _ Oh, Gaius doesn’t like me to _ .”

“ _ A gift _ !” Edwin purred. “ _ Like yours. It should be nurtured. Practiced. Enjoyed. You need someone to help you. To encourage you.” _

__ Poor Merlin - it must have been like music to his ears, the king thought. 

“He’s just telling me what I wanted to hear”, Merlin sighed to Arthur. “The reason Gaius urged me to use my magic with great reserve is because he actually  _ cares  _ about my wellbeing. He sees me as more than just a gifted sorcerer - he sees me as a son.”

Arthur looked at him with a faint nod. “I understand. But I can also see why Edwin’s offer is tempting. He’s giving you exactly what I’d imagine you always wanted.”

“Yes”, Merlin admitted. “But his charm didn’t last very long.”

“ _ Perhaps _ ”, smiled memory-Merlin to Edwin. 

“ _ Imagine what we could achieve _ ”, the man breathed. “ _ If we shared our knowledge. _ ” 

Something about Edwin’s demeanor seemed to send a red flag through Merlin’s mind, and he excused himself. “ _ I should get going.” _

“ _ Of course”, _ Edwin stated. “ _ But you must promise to keep our secret.”  _

__ Merlin smiled widely. “ _ Of course. _ ”

“ _ People like you and I” _ , the physician flashed the servant a soft smirk. “ _ We must look after each other. _ ”

With that, the scene disappeared. 

“Edwin used his knowledge about my magic to blackmail Gaius into stepping down”, Merlin admitted. “I was a fool to trust him in the first place… I learned the hard way that there are few people in this world who can truly be trusted.”

“We have that in common”, Arthur nodded.

They were back standing in Gaius’ chambers as memory-Merlin bursted in. 

“ _ Gaius” _ , the servant spoke as he approached the elderly physician who seemed to be packing his things. “ _ Uther cannot do this to you - you tried to save Morgana.” _

_ “Uther’s not to blame _ ”, Gaius shook his head. 

“ _ I’ll speak to Edwin, you can work together _ ”, Merlin tried. 

“ _ No, you mustn’t do anything.” _

_ “I can’t stand by and do nothing!” _

Gaius sighed. “ _ Uther is right. It’s time I step down.” _

Arthur was moved by it, quite frankly - how much Gaius must have loved Merlin. He gave up his spot as a court physician in a heartbeat for the sake of his safety.

“ _ What are you doing?” _ asked Merlin anxiously, his eyes landing on the luggage Gaius was preparing. 

“ _ I cannot stay when there’s no longer a use for me” _ , Gaius replied, as if it was obvious. 

“ _ You’re not leaving?” _ Merlin’s blue eyes narrowed in disbelief. 

“ _ I believe it’s for the best”, _ Gaius nodded somberly. 

Memory-Merlin looked thoughtful for about two seconds. “ _ Then I will come with you _ ”, he said with determination and lifted his chin. 

Gaius melted to a warm smile. “ _ Merlin, you’re like a son to me. I never expected such a blessing so late in life.” _

_ “And you’re more than a father to me _ ”, Merlin swallowed, and Arthur could tell he meant every word.

__ It was such a private moment between them he was surprised that Merlin had decided to share it. 

“ _ Then, as a father _ ”, Gaius smiled as he approached Merlin, “ _ I must tell you. You must remain here. Camelot is where you belong.” _

_ “But you belong here, too” _ , Merlin blinked rapidly. 

“ _ Not anymore.” _

__ With a deep sigh, Gaius placed both his hands on the warlock’s shoulders. “ _ Merlin, you must promise me you will not waste your gifts.” _

__ Memory-Merlin shook his head in frustration. “ _ My gifts mean nothing without you to guide me.” _

_ “You have a great destiny”,  _ Gaius told him. “ _ If I had a small part to play in that, then I am pleased.” _

__ He pulled away. 

“ _ There’s so much I have yet to learn _ ”, the sorcerer swallowed. “ _ I need you to teach me.” _

_ “I’m afraid I’m leaving here tonight, Merlin” _ , Gaius told him glumly. “ _ And there’s nothing you can do or say that will persuade me otherwise.” _

_ “I will not let this happen” _ , memory-Merlin frowned, and stormed off, visibly upset.

Gaius’ chambers turned to ash around them as they were moved to one of the hallways in the Camelot citadel. As Arthur looked to the right, he saw the younger version of his servant sprint along the corridor. 

They followed him to the room at the end of the hallway, where they were greeted with the sight of Gaius standing with his back against a sturdy stone pillar, surrounded by a ring of fire. Edwin stood, hooded, with his hand outstretched on the other side. 

It didn’t take long for memory-Merlin to assess the situation. 

“ _ What are you doing?” _ he questioned angrily. 

“ _ He’s trying to kill the king, I couldn’t let him _ ”, Gaius sputtered out in distress.

“ _ I can rule the kingdom now _ ”, Edwin said calmly. “ _ With you at my side.” _ His eyes turned towards Merlin. “ _ We can be all-powerful.” _

__ The warlock wouldn’t have any of it. “ _ Release him!” _

_ “Your loss, Merlin.” _

__ Edwin reached out his hand, and one of the decorative axes from the wall was lifted off it’s rack. Arthur’s heart began racing as Edwin uttered the words:

_ “ _ **_Swilte, Merlin!_ ** ”

__ He didn’t need to be a sorcerer to understand that the man was going for the kill. The axe began surging through the air in a spinning motion, going straight towards Merlin’s head. 

__ The servant leaned backwards, his eyes flashing golden - and the axe stopped, midair. Instead of abiding by Edwin’s rules, it was flung back with terrifying speed.

__ The axe imbedded itself in Edwin’s chest, and Arthur winced along with the memory-versions of Merlin and Gaius.

The flames surrounding Gaius died out. 

_ “Are you alright?” _ swallowed the warlock, glancing at his elderly mentor.

_ “Yes _ ”, breathed Gaius. “ _ Thank you, Merlin.” _

__ Then, the boy’s eyes turned back towards Edwin’s table. He grabbed the wooden box from one of the drawers.

_ “What are you doing?” _ asked Gaius breathlessly. 

_ “Uther’s ill, the same thing Morgana had _ ”, Merlin told him. “ _ Edwin said he used these to cure Morgana - maybe we can, too.” _

_ “Elanthia beetles _ ”, Gaius exhaled.  _   
_ _ “They’re magical?” _

_ “Yes”,  _ said Gaius thoughtfully. “ _ They can be enchanted to enter the brain - to feed on it until they devour the person’s very soul. _ ”

Arthur curved his upper lip in disgust. “They  _ what now _ ?”

“Sounds dandy, doesn’t it?” Merlin agreed.

Within a second, they were in the king’s bedroom, where Uther lay still on his bed. Merlin and Gaius were standing by his side, seemingly contemplating on what to do. Arthur inhaled in anticipation, watching both men closely.

“ _ How do we get the beetle out before it kills him? _ ” memory-Merlin asked quietly.

“ _ It can only be magic _ ”, replied Gaius.

Merlin stared at him in disbelief. “ _ We can’t use magic on Uther, he’ll kill us.” _

_ “We don’t have a choice.” _

_ “Gaius!” _

_ “There are times” _ , the old physician sighed, “ _ when it is necessary. _ ”

Memory-Merlin looked at Uther, then back at Gaius, seemingly having an internal battle.

Gaius’ voice was soft. “ _ It is your right. _ ”

“ _ I don’t know how.” _

_ “If you don’t _ ”, the physician turned his head towards the pale king. “ _ He’s going to die.” _

__ Arthur glanced at the boy, whose anxiousness was reflecting back at him from his bright-blue eyes. Slowly, memory-Merlin circled around Gaius and took a seat by Uther’s bedside.

With a sigh, the servant raised his hands on either side of the king’s head. 

He closed his eyes.

“ **_Berbay odothay arisan yeldo_ ** ”, Merlin incanted slowly. “ **_Ablinan._ ** **”**

Arthur’s heart skipped a beat as he saw the boy’s pale face wrinkle up with effort.

“ _ What’s happening?” _ Gaius asked, noticing the servant’s discomfort.

Merlin didn’t reply. Suddenly, Uther let out a peaceful snoring sound. Merlin opened his eyes and as he lifted his hand up from the king’s ear, a single, black beetle lay dead in the middle of his palm.

“You saved him”, Arthur breathed. “He was the cause of so much pain for your kind, and yet you saved him without question.”

“I didn’t do it for him”, Merlin replied quietly, glancing at the king from under his brow. 

_ He did it for me _ , Arthur realized.  _ He knew my father’s death would break my heart - so he saved him, for me. _

__ “I see”, he whispered, clearing his throat. 

Memory-Gaius looked at the beetle on Merlin’s hand, and then back at the boy’s face. “ _ Has anyone ever told you you’re a genius?” _

__ Merlin grinned. “ _ You certainly haven’t.” _

__ They both laughed breathily, and Arthur couldn’t help but smile. 

__ “So”, the king sighed. “You saved the day. Again.”

“I know, right?” Merlin grinned. “I usually only manage to do it by snooping around and sticking my nose in other people’s business.”

“Yes, you certainly are good at that.”

* * *

Arthur frowned as Merlin’s memories took the form of a dark forest. The stars and the nearly full moon lit their way enough to see where to step. 

Memory-Merlin was hiding behind a wide-trunked tree by a beautiful, still-watered lake. 

There was an old man in a noble-sown robe standing by the shore.

“Recognize him?” Merlin asked. “He’s Aulfric, Sophia’s father.”

“Oh”, Arthur paled. He preferred not to think about Sophia at all, if he could help it. “What’s he doing?”

As if to reply, Aulfric raised his arms towards the lake and yelled:

“ _ I seek an audience with the Sidhe elders _ ”, he announced, a sudden wind rustling the leaves above his head. 

“ **_Not gwithim sar!_ ** **”** Aulfric’s voice was almost drowned by the wind, but to Arthur’s confusion the water remained still. **“** **_Dar Libran trim shah_ ** !”

The king’s eyes widened as the lake’s surface began glowing with an alluring, blue light. 

Several figures of bright, fast creatures emerged from the water, reminding Arthur of the fairies he’d seen in old children’s books. 

Memory-Merlin tried to keep up with the rapidly moving creatures as they gyrated around Aulfric. Finally he seemed to get fed up with it - Arthur watched closely as Merlin calmed his breathing, focused his eyes on the lake - and his irises flashes golden for a split second.

The time slowed down - like it had that day when Mary Collins had tried to assassinate Arthur, and Merlin had used his magic to save him. 

Now, he could see the creatures more clearly. To Arthur’s surprise, they did look like fairies. They were small man-like creatures with the wings of a dragonfly, and skin as blue as the lake itself. They were dressed in what he could only describe as  _ rags. _

Arthur’s jaw dropped, as the lake revealed hundreds of blue lights shining from beneath the surface - huge formations of what seemed like very old trees were the sources of the lights. It must have been a visual trick of some sort, magic playing with his mind. 

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” whispered Merlin, and the king could only nod in response. 

“What is that place?” Arthur breathed.

“It’s Avalon, the realm of the Sidhe”, the warlock replied softly. 

Time returned to normal, and Alfanc spoke again. 

“ _ I come before you to plead!” _ he exclaimed. “ _ For a chance to win passage back to Avalon - and a life of immortality!” _

__ One of the Sidhe flew in front of Alfanc’s face, and pointed it’s blue finger at him. “ _ Your punishment for killing another Sidhe is a mortal body, and a mortal life. You will never be able to return to Avalon.” _

_ “The crime was mine”,  _ Alfanc exhaled. “ _ Not my daughter’s. _ ” __

_ “The gates of Avalon remain closed to your daughter _ ”, the Sidhe replied coldly. “ _ Unless the soul of a mortal prince be offered up to them.” _

__ Alfanc seemed beyond relieved, to Arthur’s surprise. “ _ Thank you! An immortal life for my daughter is all that I desire - so I promise you the soul of the greatest prince of all, Arthur Pendragon!” _

__ Arthur saw how memory-Merlin’s shoulders tensed. The Sidhe flew back into the lake, and the blue light died out. 

Like a slap to the face, they were back in Gaius’ chambers. Blinking rapidly to adjust to the new light, Arthur focused his attention on memory-Merlin staring, wide-eyed, as Gaius.

“ _ Avalon!” _ the physician exclaimed. “ _ It’s Avalon, it must be!” _

__ The servant shook his head in confusion. “ _ What’s-” _

_ “The land of eternal youth! Mortals are only supposed to glimpse at it at the moment of their death” _ , Gaius explained, his eyes burning with eager curiosity. 

“ _ Well, I’ve seen it and I’m still here _ ”, Merlin exhaled, seemingly unsettled.

“ _ Extraordinary”,  _ Gaius breathed. “ _ What did it look like?” _

_ “Ahh…”  _ memory-Merlin decided not to waste time in trying to describe it. “ _ Does it matter? They’re going to sacrifice Arthur, and we don’t even know who they are yet!” _

_ “We do now”,  _ Gaius told him, walking towards the books that lay opened on the nearby table. “ _ I found writing like this on top of Aulfric’s staff. It’s oghams, an ancient script.” _

__ Gaius took a seat by the text, glancing up at the warlock. “ _ Abas ocus bithe, Duthectad bithlane _ .  _ To hold life and death in your hands.” _

__ Arthur leaned closer to look at the inscription in Gaius’ book. It was pure gibberish to him, and he couldn’t understand how anyone could possible make sense of it.

“ _ From the writing in his staff and what you saw at the lake I’m afraid I’m now certain _ ”, said the physician. “ _ We’re dealing with a Sidhe.” _

_ “That does not sound like a good thing.” _

__ Gaius shook his head. “ _ No, they’re masters of enchantment.” _

__ Memory-Merlin’s eyebrows popped up. “ _ You think Arthur’s been enchanted?” _

_ “Almost certainly.” _

Again, Merlin gave the Arthur no time to recover from what he’d just heard, and flung him straight into a new scenery. 

“ _ I know what you think you’re doing, and I know you think you’re in love with Sophia, but-” _

_ “Who are you to tell me what I’m thinking?”  _ Arthur’s voice didn’t sound right to his own ears at all. He sounded almost  _ enraged. _

_ No, that can’t be right. I don’t remember saying that. _

_ “I’m your friend _ ”, said memory-Merlin softly.

“ _ No, you’re my  _ servant.”

That stung. “Did I really say that?” he glanced apologetically at the warlock. 

“Yes, but in your defence, you were under a powerful enchantment”, Merlin replied. 

Memory-Merlin dismissed Arthur’s tone, swallowing down his hurt, and kept pushing him. 

“ _ You don’t know what you’re doing _ ”, he stated. “ _ She’s cast a spell on you, you’re enchanted!” _

_ “I told you people would try to keep us apart”,  _ Sophia’s gentle, childlike voice spoke.

Arthur had hoped to never hear that voice again, and he turned around to throw a spiteful glance at the woman who’d just arrived into the room, her father by her side.

“ _ I know”, _ the prince replied, staring at her with lovestruck eyes. “ _ I won’t let that happen.” _

_ Ugh. _

_ “No, don’t listen to her, she’s controlling you”,  _ Merlin hurriedly pitched in. Arthur could see himself glance at the servant with a shred of doubt in his eyes.

_ I wanted to listen. But I couldn’t. _

_ “We can elope together _ ”, Sophia purred, stepping closer. “ _ Get away from this place, these people.” _

__ Memory-Merlin didn’t let her speak, and pointed an accusing finger at her father. “ _ I saw you.” _

__ The warlock glanced at memory-Arthur. “ _ I followed him. They’re planning to sacrifice you.” _

__ Alfanc scoffed. “ _ You let you servant speak to your guests this way?” _

_ “I know what you’re going to do, because I followed you to the lake, and I heard everything!” _ Merlin growled. “ _ Arthur, you have to believe me!” _

__ Arthur had to appreciate his bravery. Or perhaps it was foolhardiness, there was a thin line. 

__ He could see his younger self struggle with trying to break free from Sophia’s alluring enchantment, his head full of haze. 

__ He’d hated that. Hated not being in control of himself, hated not being able to  _ feel  _ properly. __

_ “Don’t listen to him, Arthur _ ”, Sophia sweet talked. “ _ Let’s go. Let’s leave tonight.” _

_ “She’s going to kill you _ ”, Merlin pressed. “ _ Sophia plans to sacrifice you to buy a life of immortality. If you go with her, you’ll die!” _

__ Memory-Arthur tried so hard to fight back. “ _ I-it-it doesn’t make sense, we… we’re in  _ love.”

“ _ They’re magical beings!” _ Merlin exclaimed in frustration. “ _ Look at the writing on his staff!” _

__ The boy attempted to grab it from Aulfric’s hand, but he quickly moved it further away. The man’s eyes began glowing red. 

“ _ Look at his eyes!” _ Merlin pointed. “ _ Look at him! Do you believe me now? Arthur do you  _ see _?” _

_ “I see everything”,  _ replied memory-Arthur, turning his head back towards his servant with glowing, red eyes.

The king flinched back. “Damn”, he breathed. He saw the fear in memory-Merlin’s blue eyes as he realized that Arthur was  _ gone _ , and reasoning was out of the window. 

It had probably never even been an option, not with the Sidhe involved. 

__ With the only exit blocked by Aulfric and Sophia, memory-Merlin made a desperate attempt at escape from the crack between them, but was shot back by a bright lighting generating from the old man’s staff.

It threw the boy against the wall with force, and rendered him unconscious. 

“Bloody hell!” Arthur cursed, staring at his servant’s still form. “That looked like it hurt.”

Merlin shrugged. 

Next, Gaius was darting through the doors, and memory-Arthur was long gone along with the Sidhe.

“ _ Merlin!” _ Gaius called out, rushing to help the boy get back up from the floor. 

“ _ Aulfric… Where’s Arthur…?” _ Merlin mumbled. “ _ We have to go after him.” _

__ Memory-Merlin seemed disoriented, using both Gaius and the wall to get back up. “ _ What’s that buzzing noise?” _

_ “Careful, Merlin, you can barely stand up”,  _ Gaius scolded, but his voice was laced with worry. 

“ _ I have to go”,  _ Merlin breathed, about to run off with his wobbly feet.

“ _ You can’t, not in this state!” _ the physician stopped him. “ _ It’s a miracle you survived this at all!” _

_ “I’ll be fine, he needs me-” _ Merlin dismissed him.

Gaius scoffed. “ _ Has that buzzing stopped?” _

“ _ Yeah _ .”  __

_ “Liar.” _

_ “I have to go, Gaius”, _ memory-Merlin was determined, despite his obvious incoherency. “ _ He’ll die if I don’t.” _

_ “The Sidhe are a vicious people”,  _ Gaius shook squeezed his arm. “ _ You must be careful.” _

_ “Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing”,  _ Merlin smiled dumbly and began to walk towards the nearby window.

“ _ Merlin?” _

_ “Hm?” _

_ “This way”,  _ Gaius pointed towards the door.

“ _ Just testing.” _

__ “You damn idiot”, was all Arthur had to say. “And also… thank you.”

“We haven’t even gotten to the best part, yet”, Merlin pouted. “Watch.”

His memory took them back to the lake of Avalon - and this time, it was day. 

Aulfric’s chanting could be heard from the shore, and a very out-of-breath memory-Merlin appeared to their path. 

Arthur watched with keen anticipation as the servant swallowed, and mumbled a quick “ **_Onbregdan_ ** **.** ”

His irises turned golden, as Sophia’s staff that lay dormant on the ground was flung towards him. 

Merlin’s eyes widened and he caught it from the air, aiming it directly towards the chanting man. 

“ **_Swilte, gold beorþ._ ** ” the warlock chanted, and a beam of light so bright Arthur had to shield his eyes from it erupted from the crystal embedded on its end. 

The beam hit Aulfric straight in the chest, and to Arthur’s shock, the man exploded into burning ashes with a loud scream.

“ _ Father!” _ yelled Sophia. 

Memory-Merlin wasted no time, and aimed the staff towards the lady standing in the water.

“ **_Acwele_ ** **!** ”

Sophia’s scream was cut short, as her own staff destroyed her. 

“Are you sure your memories aren’t a bit altered?” Arthur asked in disbelief. “Is that a thing? Can you just show me whatever you wish and tell me that ‘yeah, this is what happened.’”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “Cabbagehead, Arthur. That’s what you are. The only reason this spell is useful is because it can show my past  _ exactly  _ as it happened. The spell takes power from my memories, but allows me to view everything that happened from third person. Nothing is altered, not even things that I remember differently. Everything you see here is the truth.”

Arthur shook his head. “Well, in that case… that was kind of amazing.”

He watched memory-Merlin drop Sophia’s staff and sprint to the shore, ripping off his frayed jacket at the same time. 

The boy’s hands searched the water for a time, before Merlin decided that the best course of action was to dive under the surface.

After a small eternity, the warlock appeared back above water while holding an unconscious prince in his grip. 

_ It took him so long to find me _ , Arthur realized.  _ It’s a miracle I was able to pull through. He pulled off the impossible. _

__ Frowning, he thought it was even more of a miracle that the frail, skinny boy was able to drag a knight in full armor all the way to the shore. 

“I must say”, Arthur cleared his throat. “I am quite impressed.”

“I do have some bodily strength, you know”, Merlin quipped. 

“That’s not what I meant”, he smiled, glancing at him quickly. 

“I know.”

* * *

  
  


__ “And now”, Merlin sighed, “we get to Mordred.”

“Already?” Arthur raised his brows. “Oh. You mean… when he was a kid?”

“Yeah. There was a whole lot that happened behind your back.”

“I’m starting to see that.”

Merlin took them to the Camelot courtyard. His younger counterpart showed up from inside the castle, looking perplexed.

“What’s with the face?” asked the king. That’s when a sudden, unexpected voice filled his head.

“ _ Help”, _ it echoed inside his brain. “ _ Please. _ ”

“What was that?” his eyes widened, and he glanced as Merlin questioningly. 

“Some magic users are able to communicate by exchanging words through their mind”, he explained. “What you’re hearing now is what I heard at the moment.”

Arthur turned his attention back to memory-Merlin, whose eyes scoured the busy courtyard. 

“ _ Please _ ”, the voice called out again. Arthur could tell it belonged to a young child. 

Memory-Merlin’s eyes landed on their target, and Arthur followed his gaze to see a boy hiding behind a cart, dressed in a dark-green cloak.

The king remembered helping Mordred to escape Camelot, but he had no knowledge of what had happened before that. 

“ _ You have to help me”,  _ said Mordred inside his head again. It was an unsettling feeling, to have someone’s voice speak directly to your brain. “ _ H-help me.” _

__ Memory-Merlin glanced around, and saw the guards who were asking around for sightings.

“ _ They’re searching for me _ ”, Mordred told him. 

“ _ Why are they after you?” _ Arthur was startled when he now heard Merlin’s voice reply in the same way as the druid boy. 

Inside his head. He wouldn’t get used to this.

Mordred decided to ignore Merlin’s question, and instead just said: “ _ They’re going to kill me.” _

__ The guards seemed to get a new lead, and the warlock looked around to form some sort of a plan. Arthur followed with interest, and memory-Merlin found his way to a side entrance leading to the castle. 

“ _ This way”, _ Merlin nodded at Mordred. “ _ Run!” _

__ Mordred got up. 

“ _ Run!” _

__ The druid boy skipped through the courtyard with his tiny small feet, hugging himself protectively in the process. 

The guards spotted him, but not before Mordred made it to Merlin. 

The warlock grabbed the child’s hand and began pulling him forwards. 

Up the stairs, through two more hallways, until they ended up at-

“...Morgana’s chambers?” Arthur raised his brows, aghast.

“Yep”, Merlin quipped. “No offense, Arthur, but sometimes you really are a blind fool.”

The warlock’s younger version opened the door in a hurry, pushing Mordred inside and shutting the door.

“ _ Have you forgotten how to knock, Merlin?” _ Morgana asked in a displeased tone. 

The servant glanced over his shoulder. “ _ The guards were after him, I didn’t know what to do.” _

__ Before Morgana or Gwen had the time to react, a guard was already pounding on the door. 

“ _ Milady!” _

__ The black-haired lady finally got a hold of herself, and nodded towards the corner. “ _ In there.” _

Arthur followed memory-Merlin and Mordred to the cover of Morgana’s curtains, as the lady went to open the door.

“ _ I’m sorry to disturb milady”,  _ the guard apologized. “ _ We’re looking for a young druid boy, we believe he came this way.” _

__ Arthur frowned as he saw Mordred collapse into memory-Merlin’s arms, his bright-blue eyes rolling to the back of his head. 

“ _ I haven’t seen anyone _ ”, lied Morgana. “ _ It’s just me and my maid. _ ” 

“ _ Just keep the door locked until we find him.” _

_ “Of course. Thank you.” _

__ As Morgana and Gwen returned to the two hiding at the back of the room, memory-Merlin discovered Mordred was bleeding - badly. 

Arthur swallowed, his heart aching for what the druid had gone through. 

It was wrong. 

Merlin took them to Gaius’ chambers, where his past self was currently eating porridge.

“ _ Do you know much about the druids?”  _

_ “Very little _ ”, Gaius replied immediately from the midst of his work. “ _ They’re very secretive people. Probably because they’re being hunted by Uther.” _

__ Memory-Merlin looked thoughtful, not saying a word.

Gaius suddenly straightened his back, pointing his quill towards the boy.

“ _ Merlin _ ”, the physician had an ominous tone. “ _ Please tell me you haven’t got yourself mixed up in this.” _

_ “Me? No - mixed up in what?” _ Merlin frowned, playing dumb.

“ _ For someone with such a big secret, you are a terrible liar”, _ announced Gaius as he walked to him.

“True”, Arthur agreed.

“ _ Well, I haven’t done anything”, _ memory-Merlin raised his chin. 

Gaius raised his brow. “ _ Merlin.” _

__ The warlock sighed in defeat. “ _ I heard the boy calling out _ ”, he admitted. _ “He was nowhere to be seen, but I could hear him. Like he was inside my mind.”  _

__ Gaius seemed displeased, but didn’t scold him. “ _ Yes, I’ve heard of this ability. The druids look for children with such gifts to serve as apprentices. While they are searching for this boy you must be especially careful, otherwise it’ll be your head on the chopping block.” _ _   
_ __ Arthur shivered at the thought.

Instead of showing admitting the danger, memory-Merlin flashed Gaius a cheeky grin. “ _ I’m always careful, you know me.” _

__ Gaius shook his head slightly. “ _ Yes, Merlin, unfortunately I do.” _

_ “ _ He has a point, you know”, Arthur told his friend. 

“I suppose”, Merlin admitted. “But what would it matter? I’m already as deep in this mess as one could possibly be. I couldn’t just let him be captured and murdered.”

“I know”, Arthur said. “You have a good heart, you know that?”

The warlock said nothing, but smiled wearily in response. 

He took them back to Morgana’s chambers - it was nighttime, and Mordred was looking worse. He was pale and feverish, and seemed barely conscious. 

Memory-Merlin was applying some kind of salve on the boy’s wound.

“ _Are you sure_ _you know what you’re doing?”_ Morgana asked with concern.

“ _ I’m doing my best _ ”, he replied patiently. 

“ _ I’ll get you some more water”, _ she decided, and took more leave.

That’s when Mordred spoke again - through the mental link he seemed to share with Merlin.

“ _ Thank you, Emrys.” _

__ Arthur jumped at the sound of the name that had come more than familiar to him these past few years. 

Was this the first time Merlin had been called that?

“ _ Emrys?” _ repeated memory-Merlin. “ _ Why do you call me that?” _

__ Mordred blinked slowly. “ _ Among my people, that is your name.” _

_ “You know who I am? How?” _

__ The boy looked like he could no longer reply, his brief moment of clarity gone as he slipped through to unconsciousness.

“ _ Speak to me _ ”, memory-Merlin said out loud. 

“ _ I don’t know if he can’t speak or…” _ Morgana appeared with the water she’d promised to bring. “... _ he’s just too scared to.” _

__ The moment was gone, and both Morgana’s and Merlin’s figures were gone with the wind. They were soon replaced by the misty cave of the Great Dragon.

Kilgharrah screeched as he saw Merlin arrive.

“ _ Do you have to do that?” _ the startled warlock complained. “ _ You scared the life out of me.” _

_ “ _ **_The young warlock_ ** ”, Kilgharrah greeted him as he took his usual spot by the rock in front of the cliff. “ **_No doubt you’re here about the druid boy.”_ **

**** _ “How did you know?” _ memory-Merlin asked in surprise.

“ **_Like you_ ** ”, the dragon replied humorously. “ **_I hear him speak._ ** ”

“ _ Why does he call me ‘Emrys’?” _

__ Arthur glanced at the dragon in anticipation, curiosity almost devouring his brain. This could provide some insight into the mystery surrounding that name, which everyone seemed to use about his servant.

“ **_Because that is your name_ ** ”, replied Kilgharrah, again, as it was painfully obvious.

The warlock raised a brow. “ _ I’m pretty sure my name is Merlin, always has been.” _

__ **_“You have many names_ ** .”

“ _ Do I?” _ Merlin sounded sceptical. “ _ How does the boy know who I am? I’ve never even met any druids.” _

_ “ _ **_There is much written about you, that you have yet to read_ ** ”, the dragon told him. “ **_You should not protect this boy_ ** .”

**** Memory-Merlin’s eyes widened in disbelief. “ _ Why? He has magic, he’s just like me! _ **_”_ **

**_“You and the boy are as different as day and night_ ** ”, Kilgharrah informed him sternly.

“ _ What do you mean?” _ asked the warlock. 

The dragon’s golden eyes narrowed. “ **_Heed my words, Merlin._ ** ”

“ _ Why should I not protect him?”  _ the warlock tried yelling after the dragon, but he had already decided their conversation was over.

“Of course, I now know what he meant”, Merlin said quietly. 

“Yeah”, Arthur said slowly. “What did he mean by… there is much written about you?”

“Prophecies, I guess”, Merlin shrugged. “Mostly about Morgana and me. How she was supposed to kill you, how I’m some… immortal wizard.”

“Immortal?” Arthur repeated.

“Well, I already proved that wrong, actually”, Merlin added quickly. “I did die. I just… found a way to come back. I’m not immortal.”

“What did you do?” Arthur pressed turning to look at his servant in the eye. “Merlin?”

“I accepted an offer from a spirit”, the warlock faced him. “In order to come back to life, I needed to become something more. I needed to become the Avatar.”

“And what’s that?”

Merlin brought a hand to his eyes, and suddenly he looked more tired than Arthur had ever seen him. 

“I… It’s… it’s not that simple to explain”, he said slowly. “I’ll show you… eventually.”

The king stared at his friend with a lump in his throat, swallowing it down. He could see Merlin was troubled - perhaps more so than ever before. 

“What’s wrong, Merlin?” Arthur asked softly. “Morgana’s gone, Valentina’s gone - Hell, I even said I’d legalize magic. So why the long face?”

The sorcerer flashes him a smile, but it was gone so quick he almost missed it.

“Something is coming”, the warlock said quietly. “And I’m supposed to stop her.”

“Her?” Arthur frowned. “Her who?”

Merlin shook his head and bit his bottom lip. “Her name is Karma. They call her the Blind Witch. She’s trying to create a world where sorcerers rule over the ‘mundanes’, as she calls them.” The man’s eyes flew back to Arthur. “People like you.”

The king let out a breath he’d been holding. “Okay”, he nodded slowly. “So, we’ll stand together and defeat her.”

To his confusion, Merlin let out a laugh. “If there ever was a moment when I really wished you actually  _ didn’t  _ legalize magic, it’d be now. People need to be by your side as you make the decision to lift the ban. And when  _ she  _ comes here…” His eyes were shadowed. “And she will - we can’t afford to have the people divided.”

Arthur swallowed, his heart aching from how much it probably  _ hurt  _ Merlin to say that. 

And yet, he was probably right.

“You’ll tell me everything?” he asked quietly, and the warlock nodded.

“Soon.”

* * *

Arthur looked around in Gaius’ chambers, and saw the man himself speed in with memory-Merlin trailing right behind him.

“ _ Tristan du Bois was Ygraine’s brother, Uther’s wife _ ”, the physician spoke, and Arthur flinched upon hearing his mother’s name. 

“ _ Arthur’s mother _ ”, Merlin nodded.

“ _ Ygraine died in childbirth. He blamed Uther, and came to get gates of Camelot, and challenged him _ ”, Gaius explained while taking out a dusty book. 

“ _Uther won_ ”, he continued as he began turning the pages. “ _But upon his dying breath, Tristan cursed Camelot to one day suffer his return._ _I thought it to be the ramblings of a dying man.”_

__ “ _ They don’t just rise up from the dead, though, no matter how angry they are _ ”, memory-Merlin replied with a shrug. 

Gaius’ book showed a drawing of a skeletal man, holding a sword.

“ _ It is my guess we’re dealing with a wraith _ ”, the old man said as he looked Merlin in the eye. 

“ _ Wraith? _ ”

“ _ The spirit of a dead man, conjured from the grave _ ”, Gaius cited the book. 

They were silent for a while, and Arthur leaned to read Gaius’ book. 

“ _ So this is the work of a sorcerer _ ”, memory-Merlin spoke. 

“ _ Powerful magic can harness the grief and rage of a tormented soul, and they could live again _ ”, nodded the physician. 

Memory-Merlin frowned. “ _ How do we stop it?” _

_ “We can’t _ ”, Gaius replied simply. “ _ Because it’s not alive, no mortal weapon can kill it. _ ”

The warlock’s eyes widened in shock. “ _ Surely there must be something. _ ”

_ “Nothing can stop it _ ”, Gaius shook his head. “ _ Until it gets what it came for. _ ”

“ _ And what’s that _ ?”

“ _ Revenge. _ ”

Arthur couldn’t get the image of the wraith out of his head, not even after the daylight shining in from Gaius’ chambers brightened and he realized it was a new day. 

“ _ You were right _ ”, said memory-Merlin, visibly agitated.

“ _ I wish I wasn’t. _ ”

The warlock shook his head. “ _ If Arthur fights that thing, he’ll die _ .” 

“ _ He is Camelot’s strongest warrior, if anyone can defeat it, he can _ ”, Gaius tried to console him.

Merin stopped pacing.  _ “You said it yourself - no mortal weapon can kill it. Which means we have to find a way to defeat the wraith ourselves. _ ”

“ _ And how do you propose we’ll do that?” _

_ “If no mortal sword can kill it _ …” memory-Merlin ran off to his room, and returned with his book of spells. “ _... then I will. _ ”

The warlock slammed it onto the table and began furiously flipping through the pages. “ _ Immortal magic. _ ”

“ _ Merlin, it’s too dangerous _ ”, Gaius shook his head.

“ _ We don’t have a choice. _ ”

Their faces faded away, and Merlin spoke:

“I did try to kill the wraith with my magic.”

“Tried?” frowned Arthur. “But…”

“Yes, I tried”, the warlock rolled his eyes. “It didn’t even flinch. So I had to to figure something else out.”

“What did you do?”

Merlin sighed. “I broke into Geoffrey’s library.”

The king’s eyes widened. “You  _ what _ ?”

“I know, I know”, the servant sighed. “He caught me, but actually helped me with what I needed. He showed me one of the ancient fables that talked of a sword that could kill anything, living or dead.”

Arthur knew, of course, what Merlin was referring to. He carried that sword to battle wherever he went. 

Excalibur was his loyal companion, an extension of his arm. 

“It could only be made by forging it in a dragon’s breath”, the warlock said, glancing knowingly at the king. 

“Oh”, realization hit him. 

_ Of course. I should have known. _

__ Arthur and Merlin’s surroundings took the shape of the Great Dragon’s cave, and this time, the dragon was already resting on the spot where he usually heard Merlin’s pleads.

“I had Gwen steal a sword”, the warlock told his king. “The best sword her father ever made - and I brought it here.”

He nodded towards his younger self, who was stumbling down the uneven steps. 

“ **_Merlin_ ** ”, the dragon greeted, as if the sorcerer’s appearance was a pleasant surprise.

The boy didn’t bother to exchange niceties, but cut to the chase. “ _ Do you know why I’m here _ ?”

“ **_It may surprise you, Merlin, but my knowledge of your life is not universal_ ** ”, Kilgharrah replied dryly.

“ _ It’s to do with Arthur, his life’s in danger _ ”, Merlin stared at the scaly beast, wide-eyed. “ _ He will die, unless I can make a weapon that will kill the dead.” _

__ The dragon was silent for a moment. “ **_So what do you come to ask of me_ ** _?”  _

__ Memory-Merlin uncovered the sword he’d been carrying, letting it float through the air until it was right in front of the dragon’s face.

Kilgharrah glanced at it with his big, golden eyes, before turning them back to the warlock quizzically.

“ _ Will you burnish it?”  _ Merlin asked. “ _ To save Arthur?” _

_ “ _ **_The dead do not return without reason_ ** ”, the dragon spoke. “ **_Who has he come for_ ** ?”

“ _ Uther _ .”

Kilgharrah’s voice took a darker tone.  **_“Then let him take his vengeance, and the wraith will die without my aid_ ** .”

“ _ But it’s Arthur who’s going to fight him, you have to save him _ ”, the warlock nearly begged.

“ **_That is your destiny, young warlock_ ** ”, Kilgharrah replied coldly. “ **_Not mine._ ** ”

“ _ But if Arthur fights the wraith, Camelot will have no heir _ ”, Merlin persisted. “ _ I will have no destiny.” _

__ To the king’s surprise, the Great Dragon seemed to listen to the warlock, for once.

_ “ _ **_A weapon forged with my assistance will have great power_ ** ”, he warned.

“ _ I know _ ”, memory-Merlin nodded.

“ **_You do not know_ ** ”, replied the dragon sternly. “ **_You can only guess. You have not seen what I have seen. If you had, perhaps you would not ask this of me._ ** ”

Merlin’s expression turned into a frown. “ _ What do you mean?” _

“ **_In the wrong hands, this sword could do great evil_ ** ”, Kilgharrah stated. “ **_It must be wielded by Arthur, and him alone_ ** .”

“ _ I understand.” _

“ **_You must do more than understand_ ** ”, the dragon warned. “ **_You must promise_ ** .”

Memory-Merlin swallowed, and raised his chin with determination. “ _ I promise. _ ”

Immediately after, the Great Dragon began growling, summoning his forgotten fire from deep within his chest. Arthur admired as the scales of the beast’s throat flared with a fiery-orange glow, like slowly dwindling embers suddenly gaining fresh heat. 

Memory-Merlin was smart enough to take a few steps back, but his control on the levitating sword remained as Kilgharrah unleashed his flames upon it.

The fire licked at the metal, and it was quite possibly among the most beautiful things Arthur had ever seen in his life.

After the dragon was done, the sword was gleaming despite the dimness of the cave, shining with a brighter and steadier colour than ever before.

_ Excalibur. My sword. _

__ Memory-Merlin seemed almost enthralled by it, as he slowly walked towards it.

“ **_Heed my words_ ** ”, Kilgharrah sighed. “ **_The sword was forged for Arthur, and him alone._ ** _ ” _

__ The cave dissipated into thin air.

“Rest assured, I did face some trouble”, Merlin muttered.

Arthur bit his lip and glanced at his friend. “Bet.”

“Here, I’ll show you.”

Merlin took them to the Camelot armory, where the king was surprised to see his father walk right in on the memory-sorcerer, admiring the freshly-forged Excalibur.

“ _ That’s a fine blade _ ”, Uther stated as he entered the armory. 

Memory-Merlin smiled, and placed it down. “ _ It’s for Arthur. _ ” 

“ _ He won’t be needing it today”, _ the king replied, walking further inside. “ _ I will be taking Arthur’s place.” _

“ _ Sire”, _ the warlock was surprised, Arthur could tell. 

“ _ Prepare me for battle. _ ”

“ _ Arthur should be the one that fights today _ ”, the servant swallowed, and Arthur couldn’t  _ believe  _ he actually talked back to Uther Pendragon. 

“ _ His grievance was with me _ ”, the king replied. “ _ The fight is mine. _ ”

Merlin covered Excalibur up. “ _ I don’t have your armor. _ ”

“ _ That’ll do _ .  _ It’s likely to make little difference. _ ”

Uther reached his hand towards Excalibur, and Arthur could see memory-Merlin visibly wince.

“ _ I-I’ll get you your sword” _ , he hurriedly said. 

Arthur’s father, eyes glued to the shiny blade, seemed to have other plans. “ _ This’ll be fine.” _

“ _ No, sire _ ”, Merlin licked his lips nervously. “ _ You don’t understand, um, that one was made specifically for Arthur.” _

_ “Who made it?” _

_ “Um” _ , the servant tackled with his words as he began dressing Uther into armor. “ _ Tom, the blacksmith. _ ”

“ _ It’s worthy of a king _ ”, Uther pondered, testing it with his hands.

“ _ You would be better off with a sword you trusted _ ”, Merlin tried nervously. 

“ _ No”, _ Arthur’s father was calm. “ _ It has almost perfect balance. _ ”

Giving it a swing, the man frowned. “ _ Tom’s not the royal swordsmith, I’m surprised Arthur went to him.” _

_ “That was me”,  _ the servant confessed, and as the king turned to look at him, he elaborated.

“ _ I felt he needed a better sword.” _

__ Uther nodded slightly, turning away. “ _ You show… most extraordinary loyalty.” _

__ Arthur smiled faintly, knowing that in this matter, his father truly was right.

“ _ It is my job, sire”, _ memory-Merlin muttered. 

“ _ Beyond the line of duty.” _

“ _ Well”, _ the warlock shrugged as he grabbed Uther his cloak. “ _ You could say there is a bond between us.” _

_ “I’m glad _ ”, Uther replied, to Arthur’s surprise. “ _ Look after him. _ ” 

The king walked away, with Excalibur in his hands.

“I’ve never seen him so…” Arthur swallowed, trying to find the right words to describe it.

“Soft?” Merlin smiled. “Me neither. This was one of the rare occasions where I thought he was truly admirable - as a king, and as a father.”

“Yeah”, Arthur murmured. It was heartwarming, to see his father like this again. 

Uther Pendragon had loved his son, and no one could have convinced him otherwise.

“You broke your promise to Kilgharrah”, he realized suddenly, glancing at the sorcerer, who’s eyes darkened.

“Yes. I did.”

Merlin closed his tired eyes, long lashes stroking his protruding cheekbones. 

“That night, he called for me”, he sighed. “I went to see him.”

Arthur blinked rapidly as they were flung back into the dragon’s cave, with the beast hovering right over his head.

Memory-Merlin stood in front of the creature with a defeated look.

“ **_So, does Arthur live_ ** ?” asked the dragon. 

“ _ Yes, the sword worked. It was incredible, amazing. _ ”

“ **_As I promised._ ** ”

“ _ But... _ ” the warlock bit his lip. 

Kilgharrah showed his teeth. “ **_Yes_ ** ?”

“ _ Things didn’t quite go according to plan _ ”, memory-Merlin said quietly.  _ “I mean they did, except… it wasn’t Arthur, who wielded the sword. It was Uther.” _

__ The king flinched upon the noise that escaped the Great Dragon’s maw.

“ **_No!”_ ** he screeched, throwing his head around as if in great pain. His roar echoed in the cave, making shivers run down his spine. 

“ _ I tried, but he just-” _

__ Kilgharrah’s wings pushed the air with force, making the very air vibrate around them. The dragon ascended to the air with a foul, narrow look in it’s previously calm, pristine golden eyes.

“ **_The sword was born of the Old Magic_ ** ”, the dragon growled. “ **_You have no idea of it’s power. In the hands of Uther, it will bring only evil_ ** .”

“ _ I’ll get it back.” _

Kilgharrah’s nostrils flared with anger. “ **_You have betrayed me. You are not ready to be trusted._ ** _ ” _

__ Memory-Merlin swallowed. “ _ I’ll bring it to you. You can destroy it. _ ”

“ **_What is made cannot be unmade_ ** ”, the dragon replied.

Merlin let out a frustrated huff. “ _ So what do you want me to do? _ ”

“ **_Take the sword far from here_ ** ”, Kilgharrah’s tone had calmed down. “ **_And place it where no mortal man can ever find it_ ** .”

“Where did you take it?” asked Arthur, curiosity filling his mind.

“To the Lake of Avalon”, his friend replied quietly. “I threw it to the depths, and there it remained… until it was needed again.”

“You placed it into the stone, didn’t you”, the king whispered, and Merlin nodded. “You moved it as I grabbed it, and made me believe I was the worthy king of Camelot.”

The warlock shied away from his eyes. “It worked, didn’t it?”

Merlin mistook his silence for anger, and looked down. 

“Smart”, Arthur admitted. “Deceptive, but… smart. I wouldn’t have expected such an elaborate plan from you.”

The warlock blessed him with a smile.

* * *

The next memory took them to a hay barn, of all places. Arthur frowned as he took in the surroundings, recognizing memory-Merlin as he walked in on another man, who was preoccupied with cleaning the place.

“ _ He knows what he’s doing, you’ve got to trust him _ ”, the warlock said as he stood by the entrance.

Arthur recognized the other man to be Will, the servant’s childhood friend who had passed away in the battle of Ealdor.

A sorcerer, according to his final confession. ‘ _ What are you going to do, kill me?’ _ he had asked mockingly, upon his dying breath.

Will ignored his friend. 

“ _ Look _ ”, the warlock sighed, stepping further into the barn. “ _ When I first met Arthur, I was exactly like you. I hated him. I thought he was pompous and arrogant.” _

__ Fair, thought the king. 

“ _ Well nothing has changed there, then _ ”, Will told him angrily. 

“ _ But, in time, I came to respect what he stands for, what he does _ ”, Merlin pressed stubbornly. 

Will still didn’t look at him. “ _ I know what he stands for. Princes, kings, all men like him.” _

_ “Will _ ”, Merlin seemed hesitant for a moment. “ _ Don’t bring what happened to your father into this. _ ”

The man turned around. “ _I’m not._ _Why are you defending him so much? You’re just his servant!”_

Arthur flinched - every time people called Merlin  _ just his servant _ it caused a surge of discomfort run through his veins.

Merlin wasn’t  _ just  _ anything.

“ _ He’s also my friend” _ , the warlock told Will. 

“ _ Friends don’t lord over one another.” _

_ “He isn’t like that.” _

__ Will seemed amused. “ _ Really? Well, let’s wait until the fighting begins and see who he sends in to die first. I guarantee you it won’t be him.” _

__ Merlin leaned forwards. “ _ I trust Arthur with my life. _ ”

_ “Is that so?” _ Will raised his brows. “ _ So, he knows your secret, then?” _

_ Ouch. That must have hurt.  _

__ The warlock looked down, and didn’t reply. 

“ _ Face it, Merlin _ ”, sighed Will. “ _ You’re living a lie. Just like you were here. You’re Arthur’s servant, nothing more. Unless you tell him the truth. _ ” 

“What happened in Ealdor”, real-time Merlin whispered. “Was one of the biggest reasons I was so scared of telling you about my magic.”

“What do you mean?”

The warlock nibbled with his fingers, and didn’t even bother to look at the next memories himself. 

They were more memories of Will and Merlin.

“ _ Why did you leave?” _ asked the servant’s friend.

“ _ It was all I wanted. When my mother was worried. When she found out you knew, she was so angry”,  _ memory-Merlin shook his head.

“ _ I never told anyone _ ”, shrugged Will.

_ “I know you wouldn’t. _ ”

There was a moment of silence between the two. Then Will spoke again, his eyes facing the warlock.

“ _ You’d be able to defeat Kanaan on your own, wouldn’t you?” _

__ Merlin didn’t look at him. “ _ I’m not sure, maybe. _ ”

“ _ So what’s stopping you? So what if Arthur finds out?” _ Will pressed in frustration. 

“ _ I don’t expect you to understand.” _

“ _ Try me.” _

__ Merlin sighed as he turned to Will. “ _ One day Arthur will be a great king, but he needs my help. And if anyone  _ ever  _ found out about my powers, I’d have to leave Camelot for good.” _

__ Will blinked. “ _ Are you telling me you’d rather keep your magic a secret for Arthur’s sake, than use it to protect your friends and family?” _

__ Merlin didn’t seem to have an answer for him. 

Arthur could tell how his friend was being ripped apart from the inside - no matter which way he’d go, he’d betray somebody. 

It wasn’t fair. It shouldn’t have been like this - and it was killing him to know that Merlin had gone through this alone.

Merlin still wouldn’t look up. Memories of Will seemed to be painful to him, and Arthur couldn’t blame him.

In the next memory, Arthur saw the warlock’s friend packing a satchel. 

“ _ Don’t bother, Merlin, I’m not interested _ ”, he huffed as memory-Merlin walked in.

“ _ You should be _ ”, the servant sounded angry. “ _ Because tomorrow is when Kanaan attacks, and whether you like it or not, we’ll have to fight.” _

_ “Not if I’m not here.” _

_ “Well that’s up to you, but the rest of us are staying _ ”, Merlin shrugged. 

The warlock marched further in, leaning towards his friend. 

“ _ Join us, Will _ ”, he pleaded. “ _ This isn’t about Arthur, this is about your friends - are you really going to abandon them?” _

__ Will raised his eyes from his satchel and looked Merlin in the eye with a smile. “ _ What, like you did?” _

_ “I’m here now.” _

_ “Yeah _ ”, Will scoffed. “ _ Yeah, you are, and you could end this. If you used your magic, then no one else would have to die. _ ”   
“ _ You know I can’t. _ ” 

__ Will’s eyes gleamed angrily. “ _ Can’t or won’t? _ ” 

As Merlin failed to reply, he continued. “ _ I’m not the one abandoning these people, Merlin. You are.”  _

__ “That’s an impossible situation”, Arthur sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay”, Merlin replied quietly. “In the end, I did choose Ealdor over you. Sorry. It was just Will who took the blame with him to the grave.”

Arthur swallowed, remembering the day of the battle. “You made that whirlwind”, he said slowly, and Merlin nodded. 

“I did.”

“And as Will took that arrow meant for me, he saved your skin by saying it was him.”

“Yes. And I let him.”

The king nodded faintly. “You had one hell of a friend there, Merlin.”

The warlock smiled somberly, looking up at him with bright, glossy eyes. “I know that.”

He was silent for a moment. “As we were burning Will’s body, you told me that I shouldn’t have kept Will’s ‘secret’ from you. That I should have known how dangerous magic is. It was more than enough to tell me that you weren’t ready to hear about my secret yet.”

Arthur nodded, remembering the occurrence. “And you were never sure if I was ready to accept it or not?”

“Yeah”, Merlin breathed. “I mean, how could I have? Hiding my magic from you was something I had always done, and not too long ago you were still executing people for magic.”   
Arthur knew he was referring to Mordred’s loved one.

“I didn’t execute Kara because she had magic”, he stated. “I executed her because she was an enemy to my kingdom. A threat. Makes no difference whether she carried magic or a sword.”

Merlin eyed at him with a strange look. “I see. When did you start… accepting it, then?”

“In the past year, I’ve been wondering whether the past ways were as evil as we’d thought”, Arthur shrugged. “I’d started questioning my father’s beliefs. But the constant threat of Morgana wasn’t really helping…”

“I understand”, Merlin nodded. “As far as you know, all you’ve ever had was a threat looming over your head, caused by sorcerers trying to take over your kingdom or kill you.”

Arthur smiled faintly. “That’s what I thought, yes. Until I learned your secret.”

He took a deep breath, turning to look at the skinny and frail man in front of him, who still was the bravest and most loyal person he’d ever met.

“The revelation that you had magic was a wake up-call to me”, he confessed. “It was the catalyst I needed in my head, to truly be able to view magic in a different light. And you, showing me these bits of your life that I’d missed, even though they happened right under my nose…”

He shook his head, trying to find the right words. “It’s incredible, quite frankly. I find myself fascinated by magic, instead of fearful of it. It seems unnatural to me, but from your perspective it’s the most natural thing in the world.”

Merlin was looking at him all teary-eyed, and Arthur melted. 

“I always thought”, the servant said roughly, “that once you found out we’d either be driven apart for good, our friendship forever shattered - or we’d get closer than ever before.”

Arthur chuckled. “I see. I suppose we’ll find out, won’t we?” 

“Yes”, the warlock agreed. “I suppose we will.”

* * *

“I am tired”, Merlin admitted. “But there are a few more memories I wish to show you before I need to rest.”

“Are you sure?” Arthur frowned in worry. “You look tired.”

“I am ill, sire”, the warlock sighed. “But I need you to see this one. I’ll rest afterwards, I promise.”

The king shook his head, but obliged. “Fine. Show me what’s next.”

Gaius’ chambers took shape around them upon Merlin’s command.

“ _ This is no ordinary beast, Merlin _ ”, the physician spoke as he carried an open book on his arms. 

“ _ Don’t worry _ ”, the warlock shrugged carelessly.

“ _ No, listen to me, you don’t understand _ ”, Gaius pressed with concern. “ _ Uther may not respect the Old Religion, but it is very real. _ ” 

The physician tapped on the page that pictured the beast Arthur remembered very well.

“ _ To face a beast like this you must understand where it came from _ ”, the man told Merlin. 

“ _ What do you mean?” _

_ “At the very heart of the Old Religion lies the magic of Life and Death itself _ ”, Gaius told him as he closed the book.  _ “The Questing Beast carries that power. One bite, you die. And there is no cure.” _

__ Arthur watched as memory-Merlin’s features turned to a worried frown.

He was taken aback by the unexpected transition to the next memory, which took place inside the Questing Beast’s cave.

Arthur had lost consciousness after he’d gotten bit, but Merlin was still on his feet. 

The warlock made his way to a higher level of the cave, and waved his torch around to get the beast’s attention. 

As the massive creature turned its reptilian head around to hiss at him, Merlin’s eyes turned golden as his magic moved the sword lying on the ground.

The boy’s voice carried an unnatural whispering behind it as he directed his spell to the blade.

“ **_Fléoge! Bregdan anweald gafeluc_ ** !”

The king recognized the same words Merlin had used to enchant the lance which killed the griffin.

Upon the warlock’s command, the sword was flung through the air, and it sunk through the creature’s neck. Arthur had to shield his eyes as a blue flames erupted from the wound, the Questing Beast’s pained roars echoing in the cave.

The enchanted blade killed it within seconds. 

Arthur’s heart skipped a beat, again, as he was flung straight to another memory. They were back in the court physician’s chambers, and he watched as memory-Merlin cleaned the table from all the potions, books and parchments. 

They brought in prince Arthur, looking worrisomely pale and unconscious.

He looked… dead.

“ _ What’s happened? _ ” Gaius asked hurriedly, as he leaned over the prince.

The realization soon dawned on him. “ _ He’s been bitten. _ ”

Arthur’s heart stung at the sound of despair in Merlin’s voice. “ _ I tried to save him. _ ”

“ _ You must tell the king _ ”, Gaius ordered one of the guards. 

“ _ There must be something we can do _ ”, Merlin swallowed. 

“ _ I wish there was.” _

The warlock sprinted towards his room. “ _ I’ll find a cure.” _

_ “Merlin!” _

_ “Trust me!” _

__ Merlin returned with his book of spells, and Gaius gaped at him in disbelief.

“ _ The king will be here any moment!” _

__ The warlock looked at him eyes that spoke a thousand words. “ _ He can’t die _ ”, Merlin breathed out. “ _ It is my destiny to protect him. We haven’t done all the things we are meant to do.” _

The physician shook his head apologetically.

“ _ Gaius _ ”, the warlock pleaded. There was something different about his tone. “ _ He’s my friend. _ ” 

The old man took one look at the book. “ _ Then save him. _ ” 

Arthur swallowed, and watched as his friend’s younger counterpart squeezed his eyes shut. His eyes were moving rapidly behind the lids, and the book began skimming through itself before finally coming to a halt on a spread about healing spells.

Merlin’s eyes had a dimming hue of gold as they snapped open. 

He took one look at the page, then turned his attention back towards the prince. 

“ **_Gestepe hole_ ** ”, he chanted, but it had no effect.

Quickly, memory-Merlin moved on to try another spell, but his shoulders slumped in defeat as it was as unsuccessful as the first one. 

Soon enough, the memory took them back to Kilgharrah’s cave. The dragon was waiting for him upon his rock as the warlock entered. 

“ _ I’ve failed Arthur _ ”, was the first the Merlin said. “ _ I’ve failed my destiny.” _

_ “ _ **_And yet, you would not be here if that were true_ ** ”, Kilgharrah said softly. 

“ _ He was bitten by the Questing Beast _ ”, Merlin replied, distress thinning his voice. “ _ He’s going to die.” _

__ “ **_Does he still breathe_ ** ?”

“ _ Only just _ .”

“ **_Then there is still time to heal him_ ** ”, the dragon responded. 

“ _ I’ve tried _ ”, Merlin told him. “ _ I cannot save him. _ ”

“ **_You do not know how to save him_ ** ”, Kilgharrah corrected him gently. 

Merlin squinted at the beast. “ _ But you can tell me how?” _

_ “ _ **_Perhaps_ ** .  **_It will not be easy_ ** ”, the dragon warned.

“ _ I will do anything _ ”, Merlin assured him with determination. 

_ What did I do to deserve such loyalty _ ? asked Arthur of himself.  _ What on earth did I do to have someone like him? _

_ “ _ **_Anything_ ** ?” Kilgharrah repeated.

“ _ Please, just tell me what it is I have to do!” _

_ “ _ **_Very well_ ** ”, the dragon closed his eyes for a moment. “ **_The Questing Beast is a creature conjured by the powers of the Old Religion. You must use the same, ancient magic to save him._ ** ” 

Merlin watched him in confusion. “ _ But the Old Religion died out centuries ago.” _

_ “ _ **_The Old Religion is the magic of the earth itself_ ** ”, Kilgharrah narrowed his golden eyes. “ **_It is the essence which binds all things together. It will last long beyond the time of men._ ** _ ” _

_ “But how could that help me save Arthur?”  _

_ “ _ **_You must find those who still serve it_ ** ”, the dragon replied. “ **_Those who hold dominion over life and death.”_ **

**** Merlin tilted his head. “ _ Where?” _

**** Arthur shook his head at the sight - the servant wasn’t looking even mildly worried. He wasn’t scared, he wasn’t hesitant - he was determined. 

_ Foolhardy idiot. _

**_“Go to the place that men call the Isle of the Blessed_ ** ”, Kilgharrah instructed. “ **_Where the power of the Ancients can still be felt. There, you shall discover Arthur’s salvation._ ** ” 

Merlin looked at the dragon for a moment, realizing he finally had a clear destination. A stressed, grateful smile tugged at his lips, as he uttered a ‘thank you’.

“Well, he was finally helpful”, Arthur shrugged. 

“True”, the warlock replied. “I don’t know what I’d do without him, honestly.”

As memory-Merlin was about to leave, Kilgharrah spoke to him again.

“ **_And Merlin? The young Pendragon must live, no matter what the cost_ ** .”

“What does that mean?” Arthur frowned. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but something about the dragon’s statement seemed ominous.

“Uhh”, Merlin groaned tiredly. “Yes. It was a miracle it all ended so well. Here, I’ll show you.” 

As Merlin’s memory once again took the form of Gaius’ chambers, the warlock was already packing his bags.

“ _ The Beast comes from the Old Religion _ ”, the warlock told the physician. “ _ The cure must come from there as well. _ ”

“ _ There aren’t many left of such an art. _ ” 

Merlin shook his head. “ _ You said it yourself, the Old Religion is still alive, and there is an island, beyond the White Mountains-” _

_ “No!” _ Gaius suddenly bellowed, leaving Merlin with a confused look.

“ _... the Isle of the Blessed _ ”, the warlock finished with a frown. “ _ You know it?” _

Gaius gave him a weary nod. “ _ It is said to be the center of the Old Religion. The focus of its power.” _

_ “Why did you keep this from me?” _ questioned Merlin.

“ _ Because it was too dangerous, Merlin”,  _ the physician replied heavily. 

“ _ It’s our only chance!”  _ the warlock raised his voice. “ _ I have to find it.” _

__ Gaius followed the boy with his eyes. “ _ And once you’re there, what will you ask?” _

_ “For Arthur’s life to be saved.” _

_ “The Questing Beast chose Arthur, that means the Old Religion has decided his fate.” _

__ Merlin grit his teeth. “ _ Then I will convince them to change their minds! _ ”

“ _ It is not that simple!” _

__ Arthur watched as silence befell between them for a moment. The physician’s face softened and turned from angry to sad - and suddenly, Gaius looked older than he did even now, currently, eight years later.

“ _The high priests have the power to mirror life and death, but_ ”, Gaius seemed almost pleading. “ _There will be a price to pay._ _They will demand a life in return.”_

The old man stepped closer, an anxious look on his furrowed face. “ _ Merlin, please. I beg of you.” _

__ The warlock shook his head slightly. “ _ I’m sorry, Gaius. Whatever the price is, I will pay it, gladly.” _

Even the loyalty of Arthur’s most senior knights paled in comparison to that of this servant. He squeezed the man’s arm fondly under his grip.

The next memory unfolded before his eyes, and the warmth of Gaius’ chambers changed into a cold landscape with pale grass under their feet, a gloomy sky above their heads, and a formation of stones circling them from every side.

Memory-Merlin stood at the center of a clearing, looking around.

“ _ Hello, Merlin _ ”, a voice seemingly coming from nowhere greeted him. 

The warlock looked around, reserved. “ _ Hello?” _

_ “Hello, Merlin _ ”, the voice said again, this time from behind them. As Arthur looked over, the woman who had infiltrated Mercia just for an opportunity to kill Merlin stood right in front of him.

__ She was wearing a red gown, and her hair looked black against her pale skin.  __

_ “You”,  _ Merlin frowned. 

She blinked. “ _ Do you know who I am? _ ” 

“ _ Nimueh. _ ” 

Her smirk turned deeper upon hearing her name. 

Merlin shook his head in disbelief. “ _ You can’t be who the dragon meant. _ ” 

The witch tilted her head. “ _ And why’s that?”  _

_ “You tried to kill me. _ ” 

“ _ Before I understood your importance _ ”, Nimueh replied. 

“ _ And Arthur?” _

_ “Arthur was never destined to die at my hand _ .”

The king frowned at her words - he remember her saying that to him, back at the cave. But then again, destinies weren’t all that reliable, it seemed.

Morgana was supposed to be destined to be his killer, but she failed. 

She was dead, and him and Merlin were both alive.

Nimueh raised her chin. “ _ And now it seems I will be his salvation. _ ”

The warlock raised his brows hopefully. “ _ So you know what I’ve come to ask? _ ” 

“ _ Yes. _ ” 

“ _ Will you do it?” _ he swallowed. 

“ _ I do not have the power to mirror life itself and yet give nothing in return _ ”, her voice echoed unnaturally.  __

_ “I know that a price will be asked.” _

_ “To save a life there must be a death, the balance of the world must be restored _ ”, Nimueh warned him. 

Merlin straightened his back. “ _ I willingly give my life for Arthur’s.” _

A knight at heart, thought the king proudly. 

“ _ How brave you are, Merlin _ ”, Nimueh smiled wickedly. “ _ If only it were that simple. _ ” 

“ _ What do you mean? _ ” 

“ _ Once you enter this bargain, it cannot be undone _ ”, she said. 

“ _ Whatever I have to do, I will do _ ”, Merlin stepped closer impatiently. “ _ His life is worth a hundred of mine. _ ”

Breath got caught up in Arthur’s throat as he heard his words.

Nimueh reached out her hand to the pedestal standing in the middle of the clearing, and out of thin air she pulled a shiny goblet.

“ _ The Cup of Life _ ”, she said. “ _ Blessed by centuries of powerful sorcerers, so that it contains the secret to life itself. If Arthur drinks the water from the cup - he will live.”  _

__ Merlin accepted the cup, eyeing suspiciously at the sorceress who had not stopped smiling during their whole interaction. 

Arthur jumped, as she suddenly raised her arms towards the sky.

“ **_Tídrénas!_ ** ”

The clouds above their heads thickened, and thunder rolled through the ominous sky. Drops of water began falling on their faces. 

Merlin held the cup under the waters, watching it fill slowly. As soon as the rain had begun, it stopped. He gave the goblet back to Nimueh, who poured it to a small bottle.

“ _ A bargain is struck _ ”, the priestess said quietly, as she passed the bottle to the warlock’s hand. She grabbed his wrist, and their eyes locked. “ _ I hope it pleases you.”  _

Merlin yanked his wrist away and stormed off towards the shore. 

“I took the water back to Camelot”, said the warlock, clearing his throat. 

Arthur felt dizzy, but he faced his servant with leveled eyes. 

“Me and Gaius, we gave it to you”, he continued. “And waited for results.”

“I guess it worked”, the king stated with a rough voice.

The memory changed around them once more, and they were suddenly inside Gaius’ chambers. Memory-Merlin paced around the room anxiously - and then the physician opened the door. 

“ _ The prince lives _ ”, he told Merlin, who melted into a hearty laugh. 

Arthur saw him do the thing he always did when he was very happy, and put his both hands on his head with a grin. The moment faded, and Merlin sat down with a deep breath. 

Gaius closed to door, and Arthur could see that there was no sense of victory on his face.

“So, what happened?” the king asked. 

“That night, I waited for death in my own room”, the servant said quietly. “But as I woke the next morning, I could tell something was wrong. It wasn’t  _ I  _ that was dying.”

Arthur closed his eyes, remembering Nimueh’s words. She had tricked him.

“Who? Was it Gaius?”

Merlin shook his head. “It was my mother. She came to Camelot all the way from Ealdor, and she was so wrecked by illness I barely recognized her.”

“Oh, God”, Arthur put a hand on his mouth. 

Merlin would always bargain his own life, but never his mother’s. 

As they stood in Kilgharrah’s cave again, a shadow crossed over his friend’s face. 

That couldn’t be good. 

Memory-Merlin marched down the steps, and faced the dragon who was resting atop the rock. 

“ _ You knew this would happen _ !” the warlock yelled. “ _ You had me trade my mother’s life for Arthur’s.”  _

_ “ _ **_You said you would do anything_ ** _ ”, Kilgharrah replied.  _

_ “Did you know my mother would die?” _ Merlin choked. 

“ **_I knew the price would be a heavy one_ ** .”

“ _ But you sent me anyway. _ ” 

“ **_We need Arthur to live.”_ **

**** _ “I’m not one of you!”  _ Merlin bellowed, his voice echoing in the cave.

“ **_We are both creatures of the Old Religion, it is the source of your power._ ** ”

**** Memory-Merlin lifted his chin. “ _ What’s that supposed to mean?” _

**“** **_Your destiny is to protect the young Pendragon until he claims his crown_ ** ”, Kilgharrah pointed at Merlin with one of his claws. “ **_And when he does, magic can be returned to the realm. Only then, will I be free._ ** ” 

Merlin blinked, inhaling sharply. “ _ Oh” _ , he breathed. “ _ So that’s all you cared about?” _

__ His blue eyes turned into shards of ice. “ _ I thought you were my  _ friend!”

Kilgharrah seemed to smile at him. “ **_I am more than that, Merlin. I am your_ ** **kin.** ”

“I had no idea how right he was”, Merlin muttered, mostly to himself. Arthur decided not to ask about it yet. 

“ _ No, the only family I have is my mother, and you had me murder her _ ”, Merlin’s tone was low, and his eyes were wet. 

“ **_Her life has not been taken in vain_ ** ”, Kilgharrah assured him. “ **_We will achieve great things together, you and I_ ** -”

“ _ You will never be released!” _ Merlin’s voice cut the air like a whip. “ _ For what you’ve done, I’ll make sure you never see the light. _ ”

As he turned his back, the dragon spread his wings in distress, getting up on his hind legs.

“ **_Merlin!_ ** ” Kilgharrah bellowed, eyes turning from soft honey-golden to the colour of  _ fire _ . 

The dragon’s breath of fire did not penetrate the shield Merlin had created between them.

“ _ You won’t see me again _ ”, the warlock choked, shocked by the betrayal.

“I knew you shouldn’t have trusted that dragon”, Arthur shook his head slowly.

Merlin hummed as a response. “What he has done in the past, stays in the past. We have repaired our broken kinship since then.”

Arthur frowned. “You speak as if he were still alive.”

The sorcerer glanced at him quickly. “I’ll tell you everything, in due time.”

“So what did you do next?” the king sighed, nodding at the memory.

“I was going to return to the Isle of the Blessed”, Merlin spoke quietly. “To force Nimueh to take my life for my mother’s. But Gaius left before me, and went in my stead. He had a head start, and when I made it there, he had already closed the deal.”

The king’s eyes widened. “He what? Then how-”

In a snap of Merlin’s fingers, they were back on the Isle of the Blessed. Gaius lay on the ground, and Nimueh walked past his body. 

“ _ Back again so soon, warlock?” _ the sorceress questioned as memory-Merlin approached her. 

“ _ What have you done?” _

“ _ Your mother is safe _ ”, Nimueh told him as she placed the Cup of Life back on the pedestal. “ _ Isn’t that what you wanted?” _

_ “Have you killed him?” _ Merlin swallowed bitterly, nodding towards the unmoving form of his mentor. 

Nimueh blinked slowly. “ _ It was his wish.”  _

__ Merlin exhaled, a painful grimace spreading on his face. “ _ I bid my life for Arthur’s, not my mother’s, not Gaius’!” _

_ “The Old Religion does not care who lives and who dies!” _ Nimueh snapped in response. “ _ Only that the balance of the world is restored.” _

__ She recomposed herself. “ _ To save a life, a life must be taken. Gaius knew this.”  _

_ “It is not the Old Religion that has done this, it is you!” _ Merlin spat. 

A smirk spread on her face - a smirk that brought upon unpleasant memories of Morgana. 

“ _ Come now _ ”, she purred. “ _ We are too valuable to each other to be enemies.” _

“ _ No, I wish nothing to do with you!”  _ Merlin yelled, balling his fists. “ _ I will make Arthur king, but you will never see that day.” _

__ Arthur flinched back as Merlin raised his hand, and uttered a spell. 

“ **_Ástryce_ ** **!** ” he hissed, a powerful golden-stringed strike leaving his hand.

The king’s eyes widened as he saw Nimueh catch his spell onto her palm effortlessly. 

She smiled. “ _ Your childish tricks are useless against me, Merlin _ ”, Nimueh said, making a circular movement with her hand. Sparks began erupting from under her skin, an a burning circle appeared on her palm.

“ _ I am a priestess of the Old Religion.”  _ Her eyes burned as she sent the ball of fire hurling towards the boy.

Arthur’s bit his lip anxiously, as he saw his servant duck away from the sorceress’ strike. The king’s eyes widened as he saw the spell hit the stone formation behind the spot where Merlin had just stood in, causing the stone to crumble.

It left a large, gaping hole in the wall. 

Merlin stood up stubbornly, and Nimueh raised her hand again as she approached him. The fire on her palm grew again, the flames dancing in her eyes.

“ _ You, too, are a creature of the Old Religion _ ”, she smirked. “ _ You should join me.” _

__ Memory-Merlin didn’t even hesitate as he replied. “ _ You think I’d join forces with such a selfish and cruel magic?”  _

Arthur beamed with pride as he watched the servant shake his head. “ _ Never. _ ”

_ Of course Merlin would never. _

_ “So be it _ ”, Nimueh quipped. “ **_Ácwele_ ** !”

This time, Merlin wasn’t fast enough - and the witch’s spell hit him in the middle of the chest, leaving behind burning fabric and charred skin.

Arthur’s heart missed a few beats, despite being perfectly aware of the fact that this was a distant memory. 

Nimueh walked to Merlin’s heaving form.

“ _ Pity _ ”, she spat. “ _ Together we could have ruled the world. _ ” 

She had already began walking away, when Merlin’s blue eyes blinked open. He stood up, and this time Arthur could sense a new kind of aura from him.

It had more power than before, he realized. It was but a shadow compared to what his friend had been like when he’d fought Morgana, but it was there.

It was Emrys’ aura.

“ _ You should not have killed my friend _ ”, Merlin’s voice was low and ominous. Nimueh turned around with a raised brow. 

The warlock turned his eyes towards the sky, raising his hand. 

The clouds gathered by his command. Lighting and thunder began dancing in the sky, darkening the island.

Merlin’s hateful eyes turned back to Nimueh. 

Arthur had to shield his eyes as a single strand of lighting struck her directly, a high-pitched screeching filling the air. 

Her body was destroyed in a bright blast that blinded him for a moment, and the king turned away, rapidly blinking. 

To his surprise, they were back standing in the tent, with the fire almost died out. 

“But, what happened next?” Arthur asked as he slowly let go of Merlin’s arm.

“I woke him up”, Merlin replied wearily as he sat down on his makeshift bed. “He told me he was proud of me. Then he told me he’d be even more proud if I could stop ‘this blasted rain’, as he called it.”

The king snorted, and Merlin flashed him a tired grin. 

The servant sighed deeply, putting his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes.

“I hope you've enjoyed your little insight into my double life”, he said quietly. “I’ll show you more once I’ve slept for a bit.”

“I’d like that”, Arthur said quietly, sitting next to him. As he looked at the warlock's seemingly so fragile form, he couldn't help but feel fondness.

Merlin was here. He was alive, and they'd be alright. The future, whatever it held, would never again involve them going separate paths. 

Arthur made a promise to himself in that shadowy tent, filled by the scent of illness. 

He would never let anyone or anything separate him from Merlin ever again. 


End file.
